puppy13 Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 here is my story, we went out for 6.5 years broke up a couple of times but always got back together . we had total trust and never argued but her son is very difficult to deal with , always in trouble and this caused me to back off and i broke up with her. she was very upset for a couple of months . but heres the problem, i came to the realization that she is the one i want to spend the rest of my life with but when i told her this, she got angry with me and things have been rough to say the least . all my feelings ara back and i am giong nuts. i did all the stupid things (crying , begging), but that just made things worse. she tells me that she still loves me but it wont work out. now i find out by her that she is seing someone else , but they are taking it slow. they are trying to keep it a secret . this guy is one of the biggest players in my town and i am pretty sure he has other woman too. he is a very popular guy and extremely goodlooking. but im no slouch either. i am sure he is using her but she dont see it yet. is this just a fling she is going through and she will realize how the real world is and then come back ? she is a girl of high morals and i dont see her putting up with this . when we talked yesterday on the phone she was asking questions about a girl i know. she has brought this up 3 times. i am so confused. think i will try the no contact rule for a couple of weeks to see what happens. we have been broke up for 5 months, but always talked and went to the beach and had sex a couple of times. but now we are at a standstill. thanx for letting me vent . good luck to all. Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Originally posted by puppy13 but her son is very difficult to deal with , always in trouble and this caused me to back off and i broke up with her. she was very upset for a couple of months I have a son who can be a "handful" and if anybody that loved me ever broke up with me over my son's behavior you beet your A@* I would never get back togeather with them. How do you think her son felt? Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 You did something that really you shouldnt have done. Her son is probably like the most important thing in her life. And you decided to back off of her, yet he is an undivisible part of her life. What gives? Now you want her back? Are you sure you are going to be able to deal with the kid again and be his dad? You better think about these things carefully. As for the guy who is a womanizer, I would not be so sure that he doesnt change his tune if your ex is no slouch either.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author puppy13 Posted October 21, 2004 Author Share Posted October 21, 2004 i have since we broke up , read and read everything that i could possibly learn to deal with stepchildren and all my problems. and until i was sure that i was able to fix me , that is when i aproached her. i always loved her kids (12 and 16). but her kids father always poisoned my relationship with her son . i was also trying to be a fatherwhen i should have been a uncle. i know what mistakes i made and i would not do them again. i still have a relationship with him . she never had doubts that i didnt love them . just that he is a very troubled kid and i hated seeing what she was doing to my ex. it hurt me to see her sad. she had to drop out of college because of him being in trouble and stuff. she has finally taken him to a anger managemnt councellor.something that i suggested before. this conflict caused us to drift apart and this is why i split up with her. i wanted to be sure that i knew how to deal with things, not go back to the same problems. i now know that i have the tools to deal with this. isnt part of life , learning from your mistakes? i miss her and her 2 kids and will always have them in my life. her kids anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Thats wonderful, you should still maintain a relationship with her kids, 6 1/2 years is an awful long time maby actions will speak louder than words in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author puppy13 Posted October 21, 2004 Author Share Posted October 21, 2004 im not doing contact with her kids to get her back. its something that i want to do regardless. but she thinks that i am doing it for brownie points. but why is she letting me into her kids life again if she is dating someone else? her kids dont know that she is dating someone else. she says she doesnt want to bring anyone else into her kids life right now. could she know deep down that this guy is not the one and she is is having doubts. she says thier only dating but not boyfriend\girlfriend YET. she is also keeping it a secret from her friends also, i found this totally out of character for her. i think maybe she is confused and she just needs space so i plan on giving it to her. i wish i new then what i know now, we would never be in this nightmare now. if i ever get back with her i will never forget what i have learnt from websites like this. thnx Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 She is being smart by not letting her kids know about her b/f or side boy whatever you want to call it.. I think the worst thing you can do to children is expose several men to them or vise verca.. I am assuming you we're a father fuigure to these children and in the meantime just because your relationship with their mother isn't working right now, you should still make sure they know you love them. I wish the best of luck to you and your faimly. Spend quality time with the kids anyways maby take them trick or treating or to a honted house or movie this month. Link to post Share on other sites
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