Marie12345 Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. I am 27 and he is 31. Before we started dating I knew that he had a son while in college and told him that I was not entirely comfortable dating someone with children as I don't have any and it seemed like it would cause a lot of emotional and financial distress. He was very persistent and asked me to give him a chance anyway, which I did. Just a few days ago he confessed that he actually has a five year old kid too that he hasn't told anyone about. I was completely shocked and so is his family. He's up to date on his child support for both and has regular contact with the son but not this other child. He and the mother had not been in a relationship together and she did not care to have him in her or the child's life. I did ask him why he kept this hidden for so long from everyone and he said it was because he was ashamed and afraid. His family and friends make fun of him and berate him for (among other things) having the first kid so I can empathize with how he feels. He feels completely awful for being dishonest and hurting me. I just don't know what to do. I feel so angry and hurt and stupid. My head tells me that based on the facts I should break up with him. I completely trusted him and that trust has obviously been broken now. But he's been so wonderful, supportive, understanding and loving throughout the whole relationship and this just is so inconsistent with his past behavior. I guess I'm just looking for some advice and support from an impartial third party. I haven't talked to anyone I know about this because honestly I feel a little embarrassed that I'm in this situation in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
CherryT Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Sorry you're going through this. Personally, I don't know if I can get pass that. You've been together for 2 years... that's a long time to be holding that in and knowing he was misleading you. I would suggest a break and some time a part so you can think about it... if he's willing to stay then there could be a chance that he could rebuild the trust (if you can accept it and actually trust him again). If you feel that you'll always have resentment about it and you won't ever really be able to trust him 100%, then I would walk away. This isn't something you can put a bandaid on. You have to be willing and ready to forgive and move on and rebuild. Link to post Share on other sites
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