in my complicated situation

[firstcomesmadness]

I'll try to make a long story short. I've been with a girl. "T" (we'll call her) for two years. We started out very much in love with eachother and with alot of trust, shed tell me everything (if a guy made a pass at her shed let me know etc). We became pregnant early on and had a baby last June 2012. It was kind of a long distance relationship at the beginning as I lived an hour away but came as much as I could...when the baby was born I moved in. Everything started to go haywire this last valentines day. I along with the baby and her son from a previous marriage took her roses to work with a big card...then we came home and she got a call to go back to work and someone else sent her roses but she says she doesnt know who...she became irritable from then on and broke up with me because i said she was being hostile recently. I still lived there. As time went on I felt she was texting too much and using the computer too much but didnt say anything. We got back together (facebook official) but whenever i put a comment on her wall saying i love you babe etc shed remove it. I decided to put a keystroke logger on the computer and fast forward to May 2013. I went to my grandfathers for the weekend and she didnt want to come and she called me at 7pm one night stating shes going to play pool with the girls. I called her phone at midnight and it went to voicemail. When i got home from my grandfathers and she went to work i checked the logger and she wrote her friend cindy saying "if i make up a status on facebook saying i had fun playing pool will you comment on it and say yeah i had a blast cause i dont want matt to know i wasnt playing pool and he trust you". so then i asked her if she really played pool several times and she said yes. later i said i just had a gut feeling she didnt and if she didnt then she had a chance to tell me...still nothing. then i showed her the message and she said "yeah i did lie cause i knew youd get mad if you know i was hanging around with john" this fellow she texts constantly who "has a girlfriend" but i never met him in the two years weve been together. ODD. so anyway she breaks up with me again. I still live there. I lied to her and told her i deleted the logger...a week later i see her talking dirty to GEOFF another dude and mention it to her she said she knew the keystroke logger was still on there and did it to make me mad. I sell the computer. She goes away three weekends in a row to where this john guy lives to "visit". she meets two girls and becomes friends with them and i suggest i meet them next time she goes...weekend comes and she says want to go visit my new friends (two hours away) i can only stay a few hours she says. i said sure let me hop in the shower - and she bolts saying she has no time to wait. she calls later and says shes staying the night and going to a party and ends up going to a bar and not coming home until 3pm the next day (wont answer her phone ) and when she does call me she says "i can only imagine what went through your head" but comes home and goes to sleep. NOW, two weeks ago i still know her facebook password but she doesnt know that...i catch her talking dirty to the GEOFF guy again and tell her i know her password...she changes it and gets pissed off. She tells this guy she likes giving oral sex but hey i havent had oral sex in months....i move out. she comes to work the next day crying and makes me this card saying she wants to prove to me how much she loves me but wont go into a relationship on facebook yet...or tag me in any phontos she takes....sure enough a week goes by and idiot me goes back to her...she confirms a relationship on fb but i dont trust her even though i love her. she wants me to trust her...but still when i ask to see her phone she gets mad and when i do ofcourse all the messages by john were deleted by her. I wonder if this john guy really has a girlfriend? i wonder why i heavent met him yet or would i even want to given the opportunity? i feel like i am just a babysitter for her son and while she works and goes to the gym or places without me...and i feel like shes just lsing out on half of the rent if i leave...she snaps easily all the time and sex is like rape, and she gets mad if were in the bedroom and i mention oral or anything.....advice?

[andy1981]

Why wait so long before you moved out? Do you not have any balls or pride? Granted you have a little one together but she simply doesnt care about you. The only reason she got upset is because you moved out. Taking a wild guess, you took care of the kids while she re-enacted her early 20s??

[sabre80]

Dude it does not get any better. If you take her back you are simply stamping approval of behavior. She is repeatedly cheating on you. You take her back NOTHING will change. She wants you back at home watching the kids so she can go off and **** Josh and Geoff.

[JourneyLady]

Meh. Leave her. Now. Faithful women are probably waiting to meet you.

[firstcomesmadness]

Now that I am back with her I have a few objectives....i am going to test it out...just not bother her for sex see how long that goes until SHE makes a move...and two ... if i ask to see her phone by surprise one time i should be allowed or im done...in fact i believe i should have her password by asking for it for facebook if she wants me to trust her but seriously im always paranoid shes up to something even if she isnt now. Are there any other ways i can test to see if she is actually "a changed individual"...

[Darren Steez]

You make no sense. You're making new rules even though the evidence screams otherwise. Stay with her and stop making excuses for your lack of self otherwise you would have left a long time ago.

[Space Ritual]

I'll try to make a long story short. I've been with a girl. "T" (we'll call her) for two years. We started out very much in love with eachother and with alot of trust, shed tell me everything (if a guy made a pass at her shed let me know etc). We became pregnant early on and had a baby last June 2012. It was kind of a long distance relationship at the beginning as I lived an hour away but came as much as I could...when the baby was born I moved in. Everything started to go haywire this last valentines day. I along with the baby and her son from a previous marriage took her roses to work with a big card...then we came home and she got a call to go back to work and someone else sent her roses but she says she doesnt know who...she became irritable from then on and broke up with me because i said she was being hostile recently. I still lived there. As time went on I felt she was texting too much and using the computer too much but didnt say anything. We got back together (facebook official) but whenever i put a comment on her wall saying i love you babe etc shed remove it. I decided to put a keystroke logger on the computer and fast forward to May 2013. I went to my grandfathers for the weekend and she didnt want to come and she called me at 7pm one night stating shes going to play pool with the girls. I called her phone at midnight and it went to voicemail. When i got home from my grandfathers and she went to work i checked the logger and she wrote her friend cindy saying "if i make up a status on facebook saying i had fun playing pool will you comment on it and say yeah i had a blast cause i dont want matt to know i wasnt playing pool and he trust you". so then i asked her if she really played pool several times and she said yes. later i said i just had a gut feeling she didnt and if she didnt then she had a chance to tell me...still nothing. then i showed her the message and she said "yeah i did lie cause i knew youd get mad if you know i was hanging around with john" this fellow she texts constantly who "has a girlfriend" but i never met him in the two years weve been together. ODD. so anyway she breaks up with me again. I still live there. I lied to her and told her i deleted the logger...a week later i see her talking dirty to GEOFF another dude and mention it to her she said she knew the keystroke logger was still on there and did it to make me mad. I sell the computer. She goes away three weekends in a row to where this john guy lives to "visit". she meets two girls and becomes friends with them and i suggest i meet them next time she goes...weekend comes and she says want to go visit my new friends (two hours away) i can only stay a few hours she says. i said sure let me hop in the shower - and she bolts saying she has no time to wait. she calls later and says shes staying the night and going to a party and ends up going to a bar and not coming home until 3pm the next day (wont answer her phone ) and when she does call me she says "i can only imagine what went through your head" but comes home and goes to sleep. NOW, two weeks ago i still know her facebook password but she doesnt know that...i catch her talking dirty to the GEOFF guy again and tell her i know her password...she changes it and gets pissed off. She tells this guy she likes giving oral sex but hey i havent had oral sex in months....i move out. she comes to work the next day crying and makes me this card saying she wants to prove to me how much she loves me but wont go into a relationship on facebook yet...or tag me in any phontos she takes....sure enough a week goes by and idiot me goes back to her...she confirms a relationship on fb but i dont trust her even though i love her. she wants me to trust her...but still when i ask to see her phone she gets mad and when i do ofcourse all the messages by john were deleted by her. I wonder if this john guy really has a girlfriend? i wonder why i heavent met him yet or would i even want to given the opportunity? i feel like i am just a babysitter for her son and while she works and goes to the gym or places without me...and i feel like shes just lsing out on half of the rent if i leave...she snaps easily all the time and sex is like rape, and she gets mad if were in the bedroom and i mention oral or anything.....advice?

1. STOP having sex with her for she may expose you to STDs from others...remember the one thing that is always a constant is that cheaters LIE!

2. Go see a lawyer and protect yourself when it comes to providing for your child.

3. Run from this toxic and immature woman

4. Get a Paternity test.....seriously I would do this ASAP.

 

I know this is probably NOT what you want to hear but basically you NEED to hear it. The only person's actions you can control are your own, not her or anyone else. Attempting to "Nice" her back into the relationship will backfire as she already has zero respect for you.

[Simon Phoenix]

Now that I am back with her I have a few objectives....i am going to test it out...just not bother her for sex see how long that goes until SHE makes a move...and two ... if i ask to see her phone by surprise one time i should be allowed or im done...in fact i believe i should have her password by asking for it for facebook if she wants me to trust her but seriously im always paranoid shes up to something even if she isnt now. Are there any other ways i can test to see if she is actually "a changed individual"...

 

Why not find an individual who doesn't have to change? Why would you put up with this crap. Do you have no backbone?

[BeholdtheMan]

Now that I am back with her

You've already gotten plenty of good advice in this thread, but sadly no one can grow balls for you...I hope the day will come when you will man up and a large pair sprouts between your legs