What does it mean?

[mheath]

So this is a somewhat long 'story' which contains a lot of different incidents so bear with me. Firstly, I'm 19 and for whatever reason I'm very drawn to a much older (40s) and married man. He's an attractive man and is the type to be quite flirty but I'll get to that later. Anyways I'll start by saying that he lives on my street so I see him at parties that friends of ours have and what not. So anyways since he's friends with a fiend of mines parents he was at our high school grad last year. It was nearing the end of the night and I was at the bar when I felt someone touch my lower back. I thought it might be one of my guy friends just because of where this person touched me but was surprised to fine that it was him. I was a bit drunk so just kinda tapped him on the shoulder and said hi etc, and then I didn't really see him for the rest of the night. About a week later we had a grad party at my house and he was there again. We talked by the fire for a while (not intimately or anything) and it was a really good conversation. He seemed to understand me a way other people didn't. As the night went on we were all dancing, and I was basically hanging out with him. At one point he had his had on the back of my head while he has talking to me (others were around). Then he called me 'baby girl' a couple times. People were around so it didn't come off too flirty more fun if that makes sense. I still get vibes from him whenever I'm around him. He looks at me a lot, jokes, is flirty an winks. I would never ever do anything with this man because I a better person than that, I'm just curious as to what people think he is thinking through all of all of this and what your own thoughts/opinions are on the situation. Thanks

[Space Ritual]

So this is a somewhat long 'story' which contains a lot of different incidents so bear with me. Firstly, I'm 19 and for whatever reason I'm very drawn to a much older (40s) and married man. He's an attractive man and is the type to be quite flirty but I'll get to that later. Anyways I'll start by saying that he lives on my street so I see him at parties that friends of ours have and what not. So anyways since he's friends with a fiend of mines parents he was at our high school grad last year. It was nearing the end of the night and I was at the bar when I felt someone touch my lower back. I thought it might be one of my guy friends just because of where this person touched me but was surprised to fine that it was him. I was a bit drunk so just kinda tapped him on the shoulder and said hi etc, and then I didn't really see him for the rest of the night. About a week later we had a grad party at my house and he was there again. We talked by the fire for a while (not intimately or anything) and it was a really good conversation. He seemed to understand me a way other people didn't. As the night went on we were all dancing, and I was basically hanging out with him. At one point he had his had on the back of my head while he has talking to me (others were around). Then he called me 'baby girl' a couple times. People were around so it didn't come off too flirty more fun if that makes sense. I still get vibes from him whenever I'm around him. He looks at me a lot, jokes, is flirty an winks. I would never ever do anything with this man because I a better person than that, I'm just curious as to what people think he is thinking through all of all of this and what your own thoughts/opinions are on the situation. Thanks

 

A few years ago in my early 40's I briefly dated a young lady around your age(20) and although it was brief I will readily admit for an old coot like me it was totally about the physical side of it, as I thought I hit the lotto. she was drop dead gorgeous and we kind of stumbled onto each other having mutual friends. For about 2 months it was really nice. It was quite an ego boost for me.

 

But that is pretty much where it ended too....frankly outside of small talk about Motorhead and Black Sabbath albums, smoking weed and sex we really had little in common. So our little time together died a quick death as she found someone closer to her age and much better looking and I took it for what it was.

 

So speaking from a little bit of experience here I would surmise that he wants a piece of ass off a hottie and basically that is it. Oh he may try to impress you with being some sort of worldly person but in the end the age difference will probably bear out that you really have little in common.

 

So if you want to have a good time with no strings AND you feel ok with it then by all means have some fun. But please do not be under the impression that there is a big future. You may find you have very little in common that will keep your interest.

 

Good Luck.

[crederer]

Situations like this often happen because it's taboo and he probably plays himself off as a guy that is a big shot/makes a lot of money or something along those lines and it's probably not true.

 

You also may have daddy issues.

[mheath]

A few years ago in my early 40's I briefly dated a young lady around your age(20) and although it was brief I will readily admit for an old coot like me it was totally about the physical side of it, as I thought I hit the lotto. she was drop dead gorgeous and we kind of stumbled onto each other having mutual friends. For about 2 months it was really nice. It was quite an ego boost for me.

 

But that is pretty much where it ended too....frankly outside of small talk about Motorhead and Black Sabbath albums, smoking weed and sex we really had little in common. So our little time together died a quick death as she found someone closer to her age and much better looking and I took it for what it was.

 

So speaking from a little bit of experience here I would surmise that he wants a piece of ass off a hottie and basically that is it. Oh he may try to impress you with being some sort of worldly person but in the end the age difference will probably bear out that you really have little in common.

 

So if you want to have a good time with no strings AND you feel ok with it then by all means have some fun. But please do not be under the impression that there is a big future. You may find you have very little in common that will keep your interest.

 

Good Luck.

 

Thank you for your advice! I understand that this wouldn't be a real relationship that would go anywhere and I have zero intentions of making anything happen anyways but thanks for the insight! However im wondering if youre saying its an attraction thing mostly? Like Is he making legitimate attempts to hit on me because hes attracted to me or is he just having fun and trying to be that kind of cool flirty older guy?

[Space Ritual]

I think he is probably really attracted to you....

 

Thing is about many of us guys when we hit that 40 years old is we have some sort of crisis about ourselves whether we are still attractive, even when that gut or bald spot starts to appear. So again take it for what it is....I am sure even you giving him the time of day is an ego stroke for him.

 

But of course that was my own experience with dating someone much younger. There are exceptions I am sure where people with vast age differences do have fruitful relationships but when you mentioned the whole "Baby Girl" thing that seems to be an attempt as "marking territory" and proving to himself and others around him he has not lost his manly essence...lol.

 

We men can be very obvious and shallow as I am sure you well know...

[CALOVELY]

A few years ago in my early 40's I briefly dated a young lady around your age(20) and although it was brief I will readily admit for an old coot like me it was totally about the physical side of it, as I thought I hit the lotto. she was drop dead gorgeous and we kind of stumbled onto each other having mutual friends. For about 2 months it was really nice. It was quite an ego boost for me.

 

But that is pretty much where it ended too....frankly outside of small talk about Motorhead and Black Sabbath albums, smoking weed and sex we really had little in common. So our little time together died a quick death as she found someone closer to her age and much better looking and I took it for what it was.

 

So speaking from a little bit of experience here I would surmise that he wants a piece of ass off a hottie and basically that is it. Oh he may try to impress you with being some sort of worldly person but in the end the age difference will probably bear out that you really have little in common.

 

So if you want to have a good time with no strings AND you feel ok with it then by all means have some fun. But please do not be under the impression that there is a big future. You may find you have very little in common that will keep your interest.

 

Good Luck.

 

Did you miss the part where he is married? Telling her to go and have some fun is dangerous advice. She is actively engaging in breaking up a marriage if she takes your advice.

 

OP, it's fine to be attracted to an older man and have fun with that. It's NOT okay to be a participant in cheating. Stay away from this guy and find someone who is single. Nothing good will come of this situation.

[Space Ritual]

yep I sure did miss it...Thanks CALOVELY....I totally did not see it(I read way too fast for my own good so my apologies)

 

That being said please have nothing to do with this guy!!!

[pteromom]

I'm just curious as to what people think he is thinking through all of all of this and what your own thoughts/opinions are on the situation. Thanks

 

He's probably thinking "Is it my imagination or is this 19 year old girl attracted to me? I wonder if I could actually bang her?"

 

What he's NOT thinking:

"I could really fall in love with a girl like that."

"She's so mature for her age."

"Wow, I wish I had waited for her instead of getting married."

"Our connection is so real. Never felt anything like it."

 

My opinion on the situation: at best, he is enjoying the ego-stroke of a hot young thing flirting with him. At worst, he's a cheater on the prowl, looking to make you his next OW.

 

RUN. Run like the wind!!!!!

[mheath]

Thanks everyone for the replies. Of course I'd never get involved its more of a thing you think about less act on. I was just trying to get an opinion on his actions. I guess I thought his attraction was flattering, I was being naive and thought there was more to it than it being physical. Who knows, but I guess a more mature guy is just attractive to me especially with the types of guys I know that are my age. Anyways, just wanted some opinions, thanks again for the replies!

[Space Ritual]

Again I really apologize for being too fast a reader, thus providing you with terrible advice. I wrote my answer based upon this other guy not being married so I really did you a total disservice.

 

That will teach me to slow down in my reading.....lol

[CALOVELY]

Thanks everyone for the replies. Of course I'd never get involved its more of a thing you think about less act on. I was just trying to get an opinion on his actions. I guess I thought his attraction was flattering, I was being naive and thought there was more to it than it being physical. Who knows, but I guess a more mature guy is just attractive to me especially with the types of guys I know that are my age. Anyways, just wanted some opinions, thanks again for the replies!

 

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to an older man. Oftentimes they have their act together more than their younger counterparts. Just go for one that isn't married/attached. You will have no shortage of suitors.