SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I was eating at the whole foods and had a weird feeling (I got to trust those more!). Two minutes later, my ex walks through the door. She really looked pretty. She looked fine until she saw me, I acted like I didn't see her. Then got her stuff and got the hell out of there. She looked kind of sad. She didn't try to come up and talk to me, which even though I wanted her to, I know is best. I guess this is no real closure in this situation. It just sucks and can't be fixed. Felt weird to see her though. Heart sank a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 That's only natural that you felt that way.... But you know what? You survived it did you not? You are doing pretty well considering...keep it up and it will take some time but you are being true to yourself by not continuing to accept her treatment of you. And no in my opinion that word "closure" is something that exists only in movies when the sad piano music comes in before the credits roll...don't even try to look for it, you'll never find it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 Did she not cheat on you? Maintain no contact. If any contact occurs between the two of you, she should be the one initiating it, not you. Maintain your dignity. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 I guess this is no real closure in this situation. It just sucks and can't be fixed. The "closure" couldn't be any more clear and real. There's nothing to be "fixed." Link to post Share on other sites
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 11, 2013 Author Share Posted July 11, 2013 It's gonna stay this way and I know I dont need to be saying anything.... Just that it's weird that 3 weeks ago we lived together and now we don't even speak in public. Not that I want things to go any differently, just saying...life changes quick! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 ...Just that it's weird that 3 weeks ago we lived together....just saying...life changes quick! Hang onto this thought. Hang onto it with all you have, and seize every wonderful moment with joyous anticipation. You know why? Because 0n 9/11/01, the people on the 100th floor of the WTC, thought exactly the same thing..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 11, 2013 Author Share Posted July 11, 2013 is nothing compared to 9/11. We could be more realistic and say that my father passed away a few years ago and this is not at all as tragic as that. So I know I got to live life. I just had not seen her since it all happened. I may have thought we would talk when we did, but its best that we didnt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 11, 2013 Author Share Posted July 11, 2013 Do you find yourself more upset with ex or OM/W? Just a question. Know it takes two to tango, but I find myself with nothing but anger towards OM and a mix of regret/sadness/anger at ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 After my divorce, I dated a woman for 2.5 years. She moved in with me after 1 year, when we got engaged. After we broke up, we didn't talk at all. A year went by and I realized she never gave me back the 2 carat $15,000 engagement ring. I called her, and set up a time for her to return the ring. When we met, she didn't even look at me. She just looked sad. I realized that the ring was the last piece for everything to end. It was the closure we both needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Geiss Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 What exactly happened? I'm kind of lost. You broke up because why? I'm assuming someone cheated since this is the forum for it. But your original post is lacking detail. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 12, 2013 Author Share Posted July 12, 2013 found out about 3 weeks ago and kicked her out of our house....she moved in with him (kind of cos she had no place else to go, but also b/c she wouldve been sneaking over there anyways). we had a crazy relationship, but I really loved her alot. I was actually shocked when I discovered she had been sneaking behind my back. It didnt seem like her style. Anyways, we have been NC for the whole 3 weeks except for 2 days in the middle when she told me she loved and missed me and that the new guy was a fling and she had cut him off. I saw her car in his driveway and knew she was lying. Just saw her yesterday and we didnt speak. It makes me sad. Trying to see a bright side. I guess its that I dont have to fight with her anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 You no longer have to worry about what she is doing behind your back, you don't have to worry about her sneaking over to his place anymore, they deserve each other. They probably don't enjoy each other as much now that it's not a secret anymore, the whole town knows what trash they are. Focus on a better stronger you and of coarse, California. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 12, 2013 Author Share Posted July 12, 2013 I know.....i'm excited about it. Booking my tickets next week. It's just been a weird first two weeks. Moving back into my place next week...had to get a new bed. Trying to flirt and date again. Got my date tomorrow, but she's still hung up on her ex, so I have no expectations.... I'm trying to get my life back. Just been a few weeks of tears, no sleep, drinking, chain smoking and going crazy. Been working too damn much to process whats going on. It's all got me wiped. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Ouch, you sound like me when I had a very similar breakup experience. Condolences. I wish the best for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 13, 2013 Author Share Posted July 13, 2013 I do need advice for this potential dilemma though. I am pretty damn sure I'm going to see them at a mutual friends concert in 2 weeks. The OM has a really good friend in the band who has taken his side and my best friend is in the band. Everyone in the mutual crowd always goes to see these guys play. It's gonna be one of those situations where if i want to have a good time, I will probably have to be in close proximity to them. it would kill me to see any PDA between them.. I know the obvious solution is get a hot date and I think I will but I dont want to use anybody as a prop...as in, I wouldnt want some new girl wondering why im sweating bullets. I also dont want my ex to think ive moved on cos she'll just amp up her shi**ty behavior. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 My opinion? Go if you can hold it together with your ex's crappy behavior. If you don't know that you could deal (and it's totally reasonable and understandable to be angry/hurt right now) you should stay home. This might sound like copping out, or "letting her win," but think about it: what good will come if you go and have a horrible time? Or even worse, if someone starts drama? You've had enough drama out of this, right? And unfortunately, the crappy people in the situation (your ex and OM) can't be trusted to not create more pain. F what other people think; you need to take care of you, and if that means a night in, your real friends will understand that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 13, 2013 Author Share Posted July 13, 2013 This is my friends bands record release and I wrote some songs on the album with him. I'm about to go on tour with them. It's more like I SHOULD be there. I'm gonna tough it out. Try to bring a date, avoid confrontation and just keep moving. I think it will be better to hold my head up then to let them know that I'm letting them keep me from a good time. Maybe if I see them, I'll just roll my eyes. Still, it is gonna be weird to see that for the first time. Link to post Share on other sites
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