Was he jealous?

[kye1987]

One of my guy friends works at a coffee shop. I go in pretty much daily to see him and get my coffee. He's really sweet and nice to me and it's so obvious we like each other and both want to be more than friends, but we're still getting to know each other a little more. Anyway, lately he's been acting a little strange. The other day these two guys at a table were being a little loud and I looked over at them. He came and walked past their table to get my attention back on him. Then yesterday I was sitting there and his coworker asked me if I wanted a free drink because they made too much of something. This guy sitting at a nearby table was like "you must come here a lot if they're giving you free drinks." I said I was in there pretty much daily. Coffee boy was listening to this conversation because he was leaning over the counter as he let out a laugh and was like "yeah. She's in here almost as much as me," in a very back off she's mine kind of way. As he looked over at me he puffed out his chest and took on a dominant stance while smiling, trying to keep from laughing at the look I gave him, and blushing all at once. I was slightly amused by this and found it kind of cute but what was he doing? Was he jealous? Being territorial maybe?

[Chi townD]

Yeah, you can take it as cute, but if he's acting this way and you're not even together, then what is he going to be like when you are? It could be a nightmare waiting to happen.

 

Personally, if it were me. I would have already made a play for you. If you turned me down, then enough said. But, he's trying to beat away other suitor's from a girl he hasn't even had the nuts to ask out yet.

 

I have a feeling that he DOES like you, but he lacks the self confidence to pull the trigger. Perhaps he may think that there would be no way you would be interested in a guy that works in a coffee shop. But, he can't help but feel territorial towards you. He's afraid of losing the possibly of being with you.

 

So, perhaps you take the bull by the horns. One morning, just say, "Hey, there's a local band that I've been dying to see and they're playing at the Dew Drop Inn, do you want to go with me? My girlfriend bailed on me in the last second."

 

Then, see what happens. I speculate that he'll say yes. And if he says no, just say, "Okay, no biggie I'll see if my other girlfriend wants to go. Can I have a latte?" But, if he says yes, go and have a good time!

 

But, if it looks like things are going forward and good things are happening, you HAVE to sit him down and have "the talk". You need to tell him about the issues that you have with the possibility of his jealous streak and you need to say to him, " Look, I'm with you and if this is going to work I need you to trust me. When I choose to be with a guy, I stay loyal to that guy. Guys are going to talk to me and maybe some will try to flirt with me, but the thing is, they're not getting anywhere with me because they are not the one that I chose. So, you need to tone down the jealousy thing you got going on. The first time you act all jealous for no unwarranted reason, I'm out!"

 

Now, he knows where you stand.

 

Then, see what happens.

Edited July 19, 2013 by Chi townD

[salparadise]

You've got a post count of 13 and you've started 11 new threads over more than a year, all about the boy who works in the coffee shop, all the same scenario... Why don't you quit making new threads and participate in one of the ones you'v already started? How old are you?

[crederer]

Sounds like you're reading way too much into things.