Affair with Friends husband

[rae_lana]

I really feel like I'm planning to end someone's life right now. I'm so confused.

[Realist3]

So tell them TODAY.

 

I never get why some people always suggest to make rash decisions moments after they have just agreed to something.

 

Think things through on how you both want to handle it. There is no need to do it today.

[aliveagain]

You have been doing that from the time you started your betrayal. You could have stopped it any time and gone to your husband with the truth but instead you gave it blow after blow until you have what is left of your families. All those associated with both of you will be affected. The chances of your relationship working out are lower than 10% but who knows because your affair is so different than everyone else's on this site. My ex thought that she and OM would work out too, it didn't. Time for you to be honest.

[Realist3]

I know he hasn't been with anyone else because I'd have understood if be had been and he knows that.

 

 

You have to understand that there are a group of posters that go out of their way to try and create doubt in the OW/OM's head about their A relationship. It is almost a sport with some BS's that post here.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

The only want we'd be able to tell them is at the exact same time. An issue I have already is that even though he tries, when OM talks to his wife he is not very compassionate .. The way they talk always rub each other the wrong way. I'm scares he'll hurt her even more than necessary even though he won't mean too. I want to tell her.

 

My husband will be angry. He will rage out and then leave. I'm not sure what she will so but I think I should be the one to tell her but is that selfish?

 

Do I want to for me or for her. I believe it's for her but I don't know anymore. I feel like there has been a death close to me.. That's what this feels like right now.

 

I have no family but my husbands. I'm scared.

 

You have no business intervening in their marriage, or participating in the ending of their marriage, it is cruel to her. She needs to hear it from her own husband. You cannot make it better for her. She will be very angry at you and she should not have to interact with you, unless she asks to speak to you.

 

Worry about your own husband, what you are going to say to him and what he will need to recover from your betrayal. You continue to focus on everyone else but seem to be avoiding discussing him. You do realize that you are going to be ending that relationship and severing ties with his family. You do not have kids so it is likely you will never see any of them again.

 

This is going to be horrible, awful and will change all four of your lives forever. It is a consequence of the road you took, it will get better at some point.

[Anna-Belle]

I really feel like I'm planning to end someone's life right now. I'm so confused.

 

Don't make any decisions or take any action while you are feeling confused.

[aliveagain]

Girl, you can choose to listen only to others that are in affairs or you can be open to hearing from those of us that have divorced their cheating spouse's. You and your marriage regardless of how it turns out will never make a difference in my life. You can listen to those who will tell you how to leave your cell phone in your office while being somewhere else, but your problem is how to cheat better, it's how do you fix the mess you are in and survive it without destroying everyone in the process. You have to like yourself when this is all over. You need to know what your worst case scenario looks like. Be careful.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

You have to understand that there are a group of posters that go out of their way to try and create doubt in the OW/OM's head about their A relationship. It is almost a sport with some BS's that post here.

 

Thread jack

Realist

 

You may not like the fact that cheaters lie, but they do, as evidenced by the facts. Why expect them to be honest to select individuals? That is naive and foolish.

 

What I was doing is trying to get her ponder if she is hearing truth, or conning herself. She believes so whatever. You are doing her no favors by deflecting.

 

She didn't ask for support in her decisions, she asked for help figuring out how who she is and how she could do this to people she loves. Sometimes self analyzing is hard.

 

I am not a BS, but I do believe in the data and facts. Cheaters lie.

 

Rae - This is going to feel like a death. You will need to grieve, the loss of your marriage, family and friendships, it is hard, it will be painful. You may need some professional help in real life to help you.

 

You have come really far in this thread. Continue to work towards your authentic self.

[Realist3]

Thread jack

Realist

 

You may not like the fact that cheaters lie, but they do, as evidenced by the facts. Why expect them to be honest to select individuals? That is naive and foolish.

 

What I was doing is trying to get her ponder if she is hearing truth, or conning herself. She believes so whatever. You are doing her no favors by deflecting.

 

She didn't ask for support in her decisions, she asked for help figuring out how who she is and how she could do this to people she loves. Sometimes self analyzing is hard.

 

I am not a BS, but I do believe in the data and facts. Cheaters lie.

 

Rae - This is going to feel like a death. You will need to grieve, the loss of your marriage, family and friendships, it is hard, it will be painful. You may need some professional help in real life to help you.

 

You have come really far in this thread. Continue to work towards your authentic self.

 

Actually you are incorrect. She said she wasn't concerned about her MM sleeping with anyone else, yet several tried to keep hammering at it. She didn't even bring the issue up.

 

I never said cheaters don't lie.

 

 

I'm more concerned about the fact that two days ago she stated she couldn't have a real relationship with this man and now they are planning on ending their marriages. That seems like a very quick turnaround. It would hard to believe that they have planned anything out. Yet here we have people suggesting she act immediately on what at minimum seems to be an irrational decision. They have only been active in this part of their PA for THREE WEEKS.

[Realist3]

Really? You think it's a game to people to try to help someone DO THE RIGHT THING?.

 

Create doubt about the relationship? Really? He is a serial cheater. She said that. She still loves her husband. She said that. She loves her best friend. She said that. Where are posters creating doubt about the relationship? She gave the FACTS. The facts are a recipe for disaster and the quicker they confront this the easier it will be because if this gets uncovered before she comes clean the results will be much more disastrous.

 

If she comes clean with her friend and husband she can at least try to do it kindly and explain like she did to us. She needs emotional help from her past. She will not get help from continually lying.

 

You can look at the focus of some posters and their intent on threads like these. I was simply pointing out an existing pattern of some that try and change the subject about what the OP wanted to discuss.

 

Please show me where the OP brought up her concern about her MM sleeping with other women.

[stillafool]

I do not want him to leave his wife. I do not want to end my marriage.

 

How did you go from the above to wanting to tell your h and you BF about the affair and then move in with each other. It was only a few days ago you said the above. What changed your mind???

 

 

I really feel like I'm planning to end someone's life right now. I'm so confused.

 

The only life you will be ending by telling is the life of your lies. That will set you free. However get ready to lose your (ex bf) and most definitely your H.

[The Way I Am]

People who cheat on one person don't necessarily cheat on another. But if you know someone has cheated, then that's a good reason to be cautious of their behavior. Rae, given that in this case, he's revealed his other EMRs, you had no expectation of exclusivity, and you would prefer an open relationship even if you were together, it's not unrealistic to think he hasn't slept with other women for the duration of the affair. If you intend to leave your marriages to be together, you should realize that there's a high chance that given his past as a serial cheater, that he won't be satisfied with only you.

 

If you want a open relationship, that would be fine. But make sure that's what you really want and have really thought about what that would entail not just how good it sounds right now because of the sex life you were unhappy with in your marriage.

 

I don't think you and MM should jump right into a relationship. If you want to have any chance of it working out, you should both seek IC and relationship counseling. I think you should halt your relationship until after your divorces are final and you've both been to counseling to get as fresh a start as possible.

 

As for your spouses, both of you leaving really sounds like the best for everyone involved whether or not you and MM end up together. Neither of your marriages are happy.

 

There's no way you'll all remain friends, so you might as well be as honest with them as they ask.

 

Personally, I don't understand the argument that what you've done will destroy both your husband and the woman who's supposed to be your friend and ruin her ability to trust everyone -- therefore you should tell right away. The first part is right. It will destroy them, but they have the right to choose how much they want to know. You should tell both of your spouses individually that you want to end the marriage. Then tell them the truth if they want to know if there's someone else and who it is.

 

He should be the one to tell his wife. No matter how he says it, it would be 1000x worse coming from you. It's always worse to find out you're being dumped from a 3rd party. Even more so if that 3rd party is the one you're being left for.

Edited July 13, 2013 by The Way I Am

[aliveagain]

Even more so if that 3rd party is the one you're being left for.

 

 

Even worse is when the third party is the husband of your best friend. You couldn't have picked a worse scenario. How will your immediate family accept him into their life, do they know him now?

Edited July 13, 2013 by aliveagain

[Fugu]

This is just a really sad story.

 

Initially, I wanted to post and suggest that you just end the affair and try to give your partner a chance, and to give your fling partner a chance to give back to his marriage. That's what's getting lost in all this. The affair robs you (and your fling) of the opportunity to commit your full time and effort to your real relationship.

 

If you really think you've fallen...sheesh, I don't know, maybe the best thing you can do is to be truthful about it to all affected parties. But I'm telling you now, the dynamics will change almost immediately, and I don't think you're prepared for that. This affair is a fantasy. You will soon be living the reality, and it's going to be much different. I hope you're prepared for that. I doubt it though.

[LivingWaterPlease]

Rae_lana, your situation and posts are familiar to me as I had a close friend many years ago who lived the same situation.

 

Perhaps it would help you to hear her story.

 

She and her husband, the "Ns" were high profile in our community and social circle. They became our (my ex's and my) closest couple friends but at some point distanced themselves from us and got into a close friendship with another couple, the "Bs." Mr. N was a great provider ($$$ but not much sex) for Mrs. N. He was/is a highly respected person in every way but is not charismatic. Mrs. N was extremely charismatic, very attractive and popular. Mr. B was also very witty and charismatic. But, we all noticed he had an eye for the ladies. Mrs. B was intelligent and accomplished but not charismatic and not as attractive as Mrs. N. Mrs. N courted her friendship and they became very close. Mrs. N dominated the friendship quartet. Neither couple had any children. At some point Mrs. N and Mr. B began an affair. Mrs. N became pregnant and both the Ns and the Bs separated from their spouses. Mr. N, being the classy guy he is, went thru the pregnancy with Mrs. N, even into the delivery room, where a baby was born that looked just like Mr. B. The Ns and the Bs then both divorced. Within the year Mr. B and Mrs. N married.

 

Several years after the Ns and Bs divorced Mr. N and Mrs. B began to date and eventually married.

 

Soon after Mr. B and Mrs. N (now Mrs. B) married they moved about 70 miles away and I went to visit them for the weekend after they'd been married a couple of years. When I arrived after dark at their home Mr. B offered to help me carry things from my car into the house. Mrs. B (ex Mrs N) remained in the house. While we were out there near the car Mr. B made a pass at me and I had to physically fend him off. That weekend the new Mrs. B (formerly Mrs. N) told me all about their wonderful marriage and what an amazing and considerate lover Mr. B was, her exact words! I never went back to visit them.

 

Over the years we all began to realize that basically Mr. B was a dirty old man type and the former Mrs. N, whom we had all loved so much, was actually really messed up. Their lives spiraled downward, though they had children. Ten plus years later Mr. B left Mrs B (the ex Mrs. N). The last I heard about them was when my son told me he'd met their son who told him how messed up his mom is.

 

This woman, when we all first got to know her seemed to have it all! Highly educated and also highly intelligent (the two don't always go hand-in-hand!), charismatic, attractive, well loved in our community, wonderful husband; she had everything any woman would want, it seemed, before her affair with Mr. B.

 

I wonder how much different Mrs. B's (former Mrs. N's) life would have turned out had she gotten help for her issues? And I have often thought what a mistake it was for her to get involved with Mr. B, such a loser he is.

 

My reason for telling you this is that the way you write about your life choices and your H, your OM and his W, remind me of the way Mrs. N (who became Mrs. B) seemed to view things.

 

 

Honestly, from your posts you seem way out of touch with reality, both in your mind and in your behavior.

 

From your account of your youth it does seem that your psyche has been severely injured. You also seem to possess a certain level of sweetness and naivete. However, this sweetness and naivete is not your friend when combined with your wounded spirit.

 

I truly believe that if you could experience some healing in your life you would not only be able to live at peace with integrity and enjoy a fruitful life. But, you could also be a true blessing to other people, rather than a source of ruination, which is what you are to your H and your MM's wife at this point.

 

When you are at the top of the heap, as you seem to be describing your situation with your H, your MM and his W, to be (you seem to be getting a lot of adulation from each of them, though it seems you believe you are giving them each so much, when in fact you are possibly doing it all for yourself, actually, to maintain the status quo within the foursome), you may not realize that the pathway you are on is a path leading to destruction for you more than any of the rest of them.

 

At this point, every one of you is going to be hurt no matter what course you take or don't take to try to straighten things out. However, when the dust settles you may find yourself to be the biggest loser of the four of you.

 

Why not go to a counselor now to get some help and some guidance so that you can somehow minimize the fallout of your affair with MM? And also so that you can change yourself from the inside out and end up having a satisfying life?

 

If you truly love them each, as you say you do, then you will go get help for their sakes as well as for your own.

 

I encourage you to go get help now, before the tornado hits. You need to take shelter pronto and there IS help for you. Don't just stand there and watch the approaching storm thinking you can deal with it when it hits. You can't. You need professional help and you need it now.

[rae_lana]

Actually you are incorrect. She said she wasn't concerned about her MM sleeping with anyone else, yet several tried to keep hammering at it. She didn't even bring the issue up.

 

I never said cheaters don't lie.

 

 

I'm more concerned about the fact that two days ago she stated she couldn't have a real relationship with this man and now they are planning on ending their marriages. That seems like a very quick turnaround. It would hard to believe that they have planned anything out. Yet here we have people suggesting she act immediately on what at minimum seems to be an irrational decision. They have only been active in this part of their PA for THREE WEEKS.

 

Too be clear.. This has been mostly an emotional affair about us TAlKING about becoming physical. We've only had sex once. More than 6 months ago. We've been physical but sex only once, not sure that matters.

About three weeks ago we talked about slowing down talking privatly daily, because we couldn't focus on our work and life..

 

I don't know what's going to happen.

 

I'd love to think we could work as a couple but I just think we are so alike we might make each other insane or be very destructive, we are addictive personalities in a lot of areas.

 

I thought if I Told him I was falling in love with him he would just say we should end the affair.. That is what I thought was going to happen.. Instead he told me he felt the exact same way and think that we should end our marriages and be together.

 

I do think we should tell our spouses. In my heart I do not want to give up my husband or my friend.. And since we all love each other a lot I'm still hoping there could be some kind of open arrangement I know that sounds insane, But there is several reasons why I think it could work.

 

The biggest issue is we have lied and betrayed them. I wish I could take that back but I can't.

 

Right now I think we should tell them and see what they have to say if me and him work as a couple great but I'm not really focused on that right now, What I want to do right now Is figure out away to talk to my friend and my husband without absolutely tearing their hearts out..

 

If me staying with him hurts them more in the end and even if it would be right for me I don't think I would do it.

[Realist3]

Too be clear.. This has been mostly an emotional affair about us TAlKING about becoming physical. We've only had sex once. More than 6 months ago. We've been physical but sex only once, not sure that matters.

About three weeks ago we talked about slowing down talking privatly daily, because we couldn't focus on our work and life..

 

I don't know what's going to happen.

 

I'd love to think we could work as a couple but I just think we are so alike we might make each other insane or be very destructive, we are addictive personalities in a lot of areas.

 

I thought if I Told him I was falling in love with him he would just say we should end the affair.. That is what I thought was going to happen.. Instead he told me he felt the exact same way and think that we should end our marriages and be together.

 

I do think we should tell our spouses. In my heart I do not want to give up my husband or my friend.. And since we all love each other a lot I'm still hoping there could be some kind of open arrangement I know that sounds insane, But there is several reasons why I think it could work.

 

The biggest issue is we have lied and betrayed them. I wish I could take that back but I can't.

 

Right now I think we should tell them and see what they have to say if me and him work as a couple great but I'm not really focused on that right now, What I want to do right now Is figure out away to talk to my friend and my husband without absolutely tearing their hearts out..

 

If me staying with him hurts them more in the end and even if it would be right for me I don't think I would do it.

 

Only you know what is best for you. But I will just say that from what I have read you are on the brink of losing everything, especially if you go telling both spouses.

 

I know you said your friend said she would be okay with her husband being with you, but she was just testing you, IMO. I could be wrong, but it is something to think about.

 

You wish/dream/hope of this being an open situation is a bit pie in the sky. It may work for a little bit of time, but resentment will set in eventually.

 

As I said earlier, I really think the both of you really need to give this a lot more thought before jumping off this cliff. Once you do there will be no un-ringing that bell. It is a "known unknown". Are you prepared for that fallout whatever the circumstances may be? I doubt it. You have stated numerous times you are confused and trying to find yourself. I just can't find a way to suggest that either of you are making rational decisions right now.

 

You are making decisions that will impact a lot of lives here. Make very sure you are ready for every possible scenario.

Edited July 13, 2013 by Realist3

[rae_lana]

How did you go from the above to wanting to tell your h and you BF about the affair and then move in with each other. It was only a few days ago you said the above. What changed your mind???

 

 

 

 

The only life you will be ending by telling is the life of your lies. That will set you free. However get ready to lose your (ex bf) and most definitely your H.

 

He felt the same way. I didn't know he did. That changed a lot of things but I still do not want to end my relationships with with my friend it husband but obviously I need to do something.

[rae_lana]

Even more so if that 3rd party is the one you're being left for.

 

 

Even worse is when the third party is the husband of your best friend. You couldn't have picked a worse scenario. How will your immediate family accept him into their life, do they know him now?

 

I haven't spoken to any of my blood relatives in almost 5 years. Have no intention to now.. Long story but my past is messed up. My only family is my husbands.

[rae_lana]

Rae_lana, your situation and posts are familiar to me as I had a close friend many years ago who lived the same situation.

 

Perhaps it would help you to hear her story.

 

She and her husband, the "Ns" were high profile in our community and social circle. They became our (my ex's and my) closest couple friends but at some point distanced themselves from us and got into a close friendship with another couple, the "Bs." Mr. N was a great provider ($$$ but not much sex) for Mrs. N. He was/is a highly respected person in every way but is not charismatic. Mrs. N was extremely charismatic, very attractive and popular. Mr. B was also very witty and charismatic. But, we all noticed he had an eye for the ladies. Mrs. B was intelligent and accomplished but not charismatic and not as attractive as Mrs. N. Mrs. N courted her friendship and they became very close. Mrs. N dominated the friendship quartet. Neither couple had any children. At some point Mrs. N and Mr. B began an affair. Mrs. N became pregnant and both the Ns and the Bs separated from their spouses. Mr. N, being the classy guy he is, went thru the pregnancy with Mrs. N, even into the delivery room, where a baby was born that looked just like Mr. B. The Ns and the Bs then both divorced. Within the year Mr. B and Mrs. N married.

 

Several years after the Ns and Bs divorced Mr. N and Mrs. B began to date and eventually married.

 

Soon after Mr. B and Mrs. N (now Mrs. B) married they moved about 70 miles away and I went to visit them for the weekend after they'd been married a couple of years. When I arrived after dark at their home Mr. B offered to help me carry things from my car into the house. Mrs. B (ex Mrs N) remained in the house. While we were out there near the car Mr. B made a pass at me and I had to physically fend him off. That weekend the new Mrs. B (formerly Mrs. N) told me all about their wonderful marriage and what an amazing and considerate lover Mr. B was, her exact words! I never went back to visit them.

 

Over the years we all began to realize that basically Mr. B was a dirty old man type and the former Mrs. N, whom we had all loved so much, was actually really messed up. Their lives spiraled downward, though they had children. Ten plus years later Mr. B left Mrs B (the ex Mrs. N). The last I heard about them was when my son told me he'd met their son who told him how messed up his mom is.

 

This woman, when we all first got to know her seemed to have it all! Highly educated and also highly intelligent (the two don't always go hand-in-hand!), charismatic, attractive, well loved in our community, wonderful husband; she had everything any woman would want, it seemed, before her affair with Mr. B.

 

I wonder how much different Mrs. B's (former Mrs. N's) life would have turned out had she gotten help for her issues? And I have often thought what a mistake it was for her to get involved with Mr. B, such a loser he is.

 

My reason for telling you this is that the way you write about your life choices and your H, your OM and his W, remind me of the way Mrs. N (who became Mrs. B) seemed to view things.

 

 

Honestly, from your posts you seem way out of touch with reality, both in your mind and in your behavior.

 

From your account of your youth it does seem that your psyche has been severely injured. You also seem to possess a certain level of sweetness and naivete. However, this sweetness and naivete is not your friend when combined with your wounded spirit.

 

I truly believe that if you could experience some healing in your life you would not only be able to live at peace with integrity and enjoy a fruitful life. But, you could also be a true blessing to other people, rather than a source of ruination, which is what you are to your H and your MM's wife at this point.

 

When you are at the top of the heap, as you seem to be describing your situation with your H, your MM and his W, to be (you seem to be getting a lot of adulation from each of them, though it seems you believe you are giving them each so much, when in fact you are possibly doing it all for yourself, actually, to maintain the status quo within the foursome), you may not realize that the pathway you are on is a path leading to destruction for you more than any of the rest of them.

 

At this point, every one of you is going to be hurt no matter what course you take or don't take to try to straighten things out. However, when the dust settles you may find yourself to be the biggest loser of the four of you.

 

Why not go to a counselor now to get some help and some guidance so that you can somehow minimize the fallout of your affair with MM? And also so that you can change yourself from the inside out and end up having a satisfying life?

 

If you truly love them each, as you say you do, then you will go get help for their sakes as well as for your own.

 

I encourage you to go get help now, before the tornado hits. You need to take shelter pronto and there IS help for you. Don't just stand there and watch the approaching storm thinking you can deal with it when it hits. You can't. You need professional help and you need it now.

 

 

Thank you Very much.

[rae_lana]

Only you know what is best for you. But I will just say that from what I have read you are on the brink of losing everything, especially if you go telling both spouses.

 

I know you said your friend said she would be okay with her husband being with you, but she was just testing you, IMO. I could be wrong, but it is something to think about.

 

You wish/dream/hope of this being an open situation is a bit pie in the sky. It may work for a little bit of time, but resentment will set in eventually.

 

As I said earlier, I really think the both of you really need to give this a lot more thought before jumping off this cliff. Once you do there will be no un-ringing that bell. It is a "known unknown". Are you prepared for that fallout whatever the circumstances may be? I doubt it. You have stated numerous times you are confused and trying to find yourself. I just can't find a way to suggest that either of you are making rational decisions right now.

 

You are making decisions that will impact a lot of lives here. Make very sure you are ready for every possible scenario.

 

We haven't done anything yet. OM said we could go stay in his hometown after the fallout and I don't have to worry about money or a place to stay but that's not what I'm worried about.. Right now I'm more worried about who my friend is going to have.

 

I'm thinking of my husband but I can predict exactly what he will do. I'm not sure what she will do and I do love her I want her to stay with me.

[rae_lana]

This OM WILL no doubt want to have sex with other people if we are together.. Men and women.. I know this, we are clear about it. I get it. That doesn't not even a little bit affect my choices. I know all about how he feels there..

 

Love and sex are not the same for me.

 

I do not get jealous like a person would expect about sex, when I feel jealousy it's almost always to do with emotional connections.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Today you are saying this...

I do think we should tell our spouses. In my heart I do not want to give up my husband or my friend.. And since we all love each other a lot I'm still hoping there could be some kind of open arrangement I know that sounds insane, But there is several reasons why I think it could work.

 

The biggest issue is we have lied and betrayed them. I wish I could take that back but I can't.

 

Right now I think we should tell them and see what they have to say if me and him work as a couple great but I'm not really focused on that right now, What I want to do right now Is figure out away to talk to my friend and my husband without absolutely tearing their hearts out..

 

If me staying with him hurts them more in the end and even if it would be right for me I don't think I would do it.

 

In your first post you said this...

 

but a couple years into out friendship she found out he had cheated on her.. when she found out, the one night stand he had was already over a year in the past. I helped her through it and they stayed together.

 

.. just enjoyed the sexual tension and then she started telling me that she thought he had a crush on me..

 

At very first when this started, it almost helped our marriages.. his wife has a very very low sex drive, and me and him are matched in sex drive and turn ons for sure.. my husband and my sex life has only gotten better.. but I think of MM. And I was feeling accepted for who I really was by him so didn't feel the need for it as much at home, like I had been craving for so long.

 

But lately.. its been clear that we are both conflicted. His wife has told me he's grumpy at home and being mean to her a lot.. and its always during our down times.. when me and him are not talking..

 

There is no possible way we could ever be together in a real relationship..

 

It would be a complete bomb to out entire hometown. We have all mutual friends, we are all incredibly close.

 

People are going to say I am not really her friend and I do not really love my husband. But I do. Ideally.. I wish all four of us could be together and in love and make a beautiful life together.. but that is very very impossible and not something my husband would ever consider. (They are not attracted to one another at all)

 

His wife knows he likes me, she says she can hear it in his voice and how he talks about me, and she has even told me that he would cheat on her with me if I would but she trusts me 100 percent.

 

So what changed that you believe some kind of polyamory type relationship would work here? You didn't believe so when you started the thread, but you do now. Is it fact based or wishful thinking?

[Realist3]

As I said you should be prepared to lose everything, your husband, your friend, and your MM.

 

That may not end up being the case, but you should be prepared for that possibility.

[Realist3]

All I'm saying is don't count on rainbows and unicorns, because it will be anything but. You can think you can guess how people will react. but you never know.