Are very bitter people, who despise the opposite gender, actually better off alone?

[Xinreeki]

I have seen some mind bogglingly bitter posts here on LS.

 

And its making me wonder, whether those who genuinely despise the opposite gender, are actually better off alone? Both for their sake, and for the sake of the poor person who would be exposed to their bitter, resentful, distrustful mindset, if they were to enter a committed relationship. ... As I know trust, love and open mindedness regarding another's intentions, are required in order to foster true intimacy and emotional connections.

 

Anyway, I was just wondering whether there is anyone who can relate to my thinking here? Or whether I am again missing something?

[ChessPieceFace]

Some bitter people are bitter cause they haven't had any success. Having success would seem to negate that problem. A lot are looking for exceptions. I'm looking for a trustworthy, supportive woman who won't ruin my life. I'm somehow wrong for wanting that? When I look at most of the women around me, they aren't supportive or trustworthy, and many have ruined men's lives.

 

It's also silly to assume gender equality in this. Study anything about how modern feminism has destroyed marriage and society, study anything about womens' expectations vs. mens' nowadays, and there's no equality at all. Modern men have every right to be bitter at how they are treated in society and family courts. What do women have to be bitter about. Guys' video game and porn addiction? Wow, harsh.

[nescafe1982]

I find myself similarly torn on this, especially when I see blatantly cruel things being written in response to honest queries.

 

But in the end, everyone is entitled to their opinions. And I guess that for some folks, those opinions are more valuable than healthy romantic relationships. Who am I to judge that decision (or at least, to voice it causelessly?)

[Eddie Edirol]

Even if people are bitter, I usually find that its from ignorance. They WANT love but they arent going about it the right way. Tons of people come here looking for advise, but they dont believe it, and wont listen, and then wonder why their self fulfilling prophecies dont get them any success. So I dont think they are better off alone, they arent. Its the same reason young guys haul off and shoot load of people. Someone wasnt there that could say the right trigger word that would make them listen about how to get what they want. So I dont think they are better off alone, they just need a slap in the face and in person proof of how to get what they want.

[todreaminblue]

What nescafe said completely....

 

 

everyone makes their own choices in life, forms their own opinions.....to me bitterness starts with pain......continues with pain like a tumble weed building momentum... and ends with pain if you hold onto it.....people who are bitter have often become bitter.......through others disregard.....i have known many bitter people and they all have similar stories......abandonment, betrayal, disregard, abuse, bullying or just plain rejection..........their stories are hard to hear........but i listen......and sometimes its all it takes just a kind ear .....someone who doesnt judge them first

 

 

i do know this....bittterness taken into a relationship is a recipe for disaster and that bitterness needs to be gone before a truly happy relationship can form.....deb

[shexy]

Some bitter people are bitter cause they haven't had any success. Having success would seem to negate that problem. A lot are looking for exceptions. I'm looking for a trustworthy, supportive woman who won't ruin my life. I'm somehow wrong for wanting that? When I look at most of the women around me, they aren't supportive or trustworthy, and many have ruined men's lives.

 

It's also silly to assume gender equality in this. Study anything about how modern feminism has destroyed marriage and society, study anything about womens' expectations vs. mens' nowadays, and there's no equality at all. Modern men have every right to be bitter at how they are treated in society and family courts. What do women have to be bitter about. Guys' video game and porn addiction? Wow, harsh.

 

I'm guessing one of your exes didn't like your porn addiction?

[JackDrc]

 

It's also silly to assume gender equality in this. Study anything about how modern feminism has destroyed marriage and society, study anything about womens' expectations vs. mens' nowadays, and there's no equality at all. Modern men have every right to be bitter at how they are treated in society and family courts. What do women have to be bitter about. Guys' video game and porn addiction? Wow, harsh.

 

So much win in such a short paragraph. 70% of divorces are initiated by women. Are men to blame 70% of the time? Doubtful. Some women are upgrading. We rightly despise men for trading their wife in for a younger one yet it seems as if the behavior of the women involved is comparatively less offensive to women. It is wrong regardless of which gender is doing it.

 

You know what the modern movement has done? Because a percentage of men acted like *******s, now we have an equal percentage of women acting the same way. Yay for equality, but where does that leave the non-scumbag women and men?

Edited July 12, 2013 by JackDrc

[todreaminblue]

So much win in such a short paragraph. 70% of divorces are initiated by women. Are men to blame 70% of the time? Doubtful. Women are upgrading.

 

i am sure that statistics and percentages don't prove your theory of upgrading...why do you hold that theory? ...deb

[ChessPieceFace]

I'm guessing one of your exes didn't like your porn addiction?

 

I have no exes. Just some insane women I'm lucky I blew it with.

 

Seriously, women's complaints about men are ways in which they fail to be perfect. Men's complaints about women are how the women ruined their entire life. Not equal.

[JackDrc]

i am sure that statistics and percentages don't prove your theory of upgrading...why do you hold that theory? ...deb

 

Feel free to offer an alternative explanation. Are 30% of the divorcing woman victims of domestic abuse? What explains the 40 point gap in your opinion? I proposed a hypothetical.

 

 

It's also silly to assume gender equality in this. Study anything about how modern feminism has destroyed marriage and society, study anything about womens' expectations vs. mens' nowadays, and there's no equality at all. Modern men have every right to be bitter at how they are treated in society and family courts. What do women have to be bitter about. Guys' video game and porn addiction?

 

What this disparity in the divorce initiation rates tells me is that men are more willing to work on marriages than women are. Some women will quit on the marriage if it isn't proceeding on a fairy tale path 7 years in. Not all by any means, but some. And thanks to modern feminism, women get to exercise decidedly unequal control over. Men in matrimonial court, both in terms of assets and child custody. Because nothing says gender equality like one gender being favored over the gender by our legal system. Try getting a rape conviction against a woman. Has it ever happened in the US? A guy in college passed out and this girl he didn't even know started blowing him until he woke up. Imagine if a guy did the equivalent to a passed out woman. Guaranteed sexual abuse conviction.

 

You know what the modern movement has done? Because a percentage of men acted like *******s, now we have an equal percentage of women acting the same way. Yay for equality, but where does that leave the non-scumbag women and men?

[hoping2heal]

Some bitter people are bitter cause they haven't had any success. Having success would seem to negate that problem. A lot are looking for exceptions. I'm looking for a trustworthy, supportive woman who won't ruin my life. I'm somehow wrong for wanting that? When I look at most of the women around me, they aren't supportive or trustworthy, and many have ruined men's lives.

 

It's also silly to assume gender equality in this. Study anything about how modern feminism has destroyed marriage and society, study anything about womens' expectations vs. mens' nowadays, and there's no equality at all. Modern men have every right to be bitter at how they are treated in society and family courts. What do women have to be bitter about. Guys' video game and porn addiction? Wow, harsh.

 

Oh really? You know what it's a bit clear to me that you need to turn off your porn and video games and spend some time outside in the real world where you can whole eyed observe that both men and women get treated unfairly and put in B.S. circumstances. The best anyone can do; male or female is try to make good judgement based on the facts presented to them about people. But hey, even that doesn't always work as some people are just smooth liars and cons but you know?

 

More often than not; I've witnessed both men and women who continue or pursue relationships with people who wave their red flag freak flag and let that sucker fly. But you know what's more? They don't heed the warning. They don't consider the caution. They want that person for whatever reason and they won't let something like red flags stop them. Then, crazily enough that relationship blows up just as it always about to.

 

Bad crap happens to both sexes, period. Both could have their axe to grind if they were so inclined. You want to a trustworthy and supportive woman but you know what? You'll likely never find one with that piss poor attitude because all of the trustworthy and supportive women will be busy with good men that don't have a chip on their shoulder.

[Woggle]

What person these days doesn't have at least some bitterness towards the oppposite sex?

[JackDrc]

I have no exes. Just some insane women I'm lucky I blew it with.

 

Seriously, women's complaints about men are ways in which they fail to be perfect. Men's complaints about women are how the women ruined their entire life. Not equal.

 

The very fact that women who commit infidelity still get a higher average share of the marital assets than non-philandering men should confirm the inequity. That is a direct result of no-fault divorce and property distribution laws. In my opinion, if infidelity is proven via evidence, the judge should grant primary custody of the children to the faithful party, regardless of their gender. The cheater would then pay child support, and if they didn't have a job at the time of divorce, they can get one, even at McDonald's. anyone who has a problem with this doesn't believe in equality. Let's punish bad behavior which leads to divorce.

[nescafe1982]

As for the divorce rates: men are more likely to hit women, they are more likely to cheat, they are less likely to seek out marriage counseling or therapy, if brought into a therapeutic situation they are less likely to stick with it. The failure of therapy to "fix" a couple is often what precipitates a divorce.

 

I think this can help explain why women are more likely to file for divorce. I'm not saying "trading up" doesn't happen... because it does (and both genders do it). But there are simply way too many other causes for the divorce disparity to make a definitive ruling on it.

[hoping2heal]

What person these days doesn't have at least some bitterness towards the oppposite sex?

 

*raises hand*

[Woggle]

As for the divorce rates: men are more likely to hit women, they are more likely to cheat, they are less likely to seek out marriage counseling or therapy, if brought into a therapeutic situation they are less likely to stick with it. The failure of therapy to "fix" a couple is often what precipitates a divorce.

 

I think this can help explain why women are more likely to file for divorce. I'm not saying "trading up" doesn't happen... because it does (and both genders do it). But there are simply way too many other causes for the divorce disparity to make a definitive ruling on it.

 

Men are probably on an average more violent but cheating these days is about equal.

[Woggle]

*raises hand*

 

You are rare. Even with people who claim not to it comes out when discussions get heated. I admit I have issues but not many people can be honest with themselves like that.

[Pyro]

What person these days doesn't have at least some bitterness towards the oppposite sex?

 

People that know who and what to take seriously and not seriously. Lots of people fit that criteria.

 

No one with baggage like bitterness has any business being in a committed relationship IMO.

[nescafe1982]

Men are probably on an average more violent but cheating these days is about equal.

 

Most studies still finger the men in higher numbers, but I admit that the gap is swiftly narrowing, and many researcher even question HOW we gather information about infidelity. Consider the implications of gathering info on the topic through an open-ended questionnaire for example.

[ThaWholigan]

What person these days doesn't have at least some bitterness towards the oppposite sex?

I don't. None at all.

[hoping2heal]

You are rare. Even with people who claim not to it comes out when discussions get heated. I admit I have issues but not many people can be honest with themselves like that.

 

I don't think I'm rare at all. I've experienced my unfair share of suffering at the hands of males but that's just those specific people. It's no reflection of the rest of the male species. Some of my favorite people in the world are males. I've had bad things happen to me at the hands of women but again; I'm not going to sit there and judge all women based on the actions of a few.

[Pyro]

I don't think I'm rare at all. I've experienced my unfair share of suffering at the hands of males but that's just those specific people. It's no reflection of the rest of the male species. Some of my favorite people in the world are males. I've had bad things happen to me at the hands of women but again; I'm not going to sit there and judge all women based on the actions of a few.

 

You aren't rare at all. There are plenty like you. Woggle is just trying to justify that it is OK to hate most of or the entire gender based on a handful of bad experiences with that gender.

[Woggle]

You aren't rare at all. There are plenty like you. Woggle is just trying to justify that it is OK to hate most of or the entire gender based on a handful of bad experiences with that gender.

 

I am not justifying it. I am just honest about my issues while most people are in denial. The first step towards changing is admitting you have a problem and I have taken that step. Others won't even take that step.

[JackDrc]

You want to a trustworthy and supportive woman but you know what? You'll likely never find one with that piss poor attitude because all of the trustworthy and supportive women will be busy with good men that don't have a chip on their shoulder.

 

Incorrect IMO. Good men can became embittered after being cheated on and having to pay child support for children that aren't biologically theirs. Only under our screwed up system would that be considered acceptable. Taxpayers should foot the bill for these women's child support so that this behavior will stop.

 

If by "good" men, you're describing naive men who believe that divorce results are fair in this country and that getting screwed in the event of divorce is anything but a virtual certainty,'then I agree with you. Women will get these men, and men who knowingly marry women who believe our current system is acceptable. Too many men do this. They overlook glaring personality flaws in the pursuit of looks, looks, looks and these men will get little sympathy from me. They should have known better. I'll stick to women with traditional values. Women like my mother who would never dream of divorcing my dad even of she no longer felt that same spark that she once did. As long as he is respectful to her and treats her well and cares for her, she will be with him until one of them dies. She does still feel that spark FYI, but, even if it had waned a bit, it wouldn't matter. She's disgusted with modern feminism, way more so than my dad. When I marry a woman I'm not going to divorce her just because her breasts sag and she gets wrinkles. I will treat her with respect that she deserves and she can choose to work or not work. We will work together on our marriage to keep it strong. I feel confident that I will not get divorced, but that is because I will prioritize other things over a hot body and a pretty face, and I will marry a woman who shares my values, meaning she does not subscribe to modern feminist ideology. I don't mean being pro life (although it's fine if she is), what I mean by that is that she will take her marriage oath seriously.

Plenty of women still believe in this and so us men who also want to take it seriously will marry them. The women who don't can have the suckers.

[hppr]

Very very very few guys are actually, honest to God bitter about women.

 

What happens is they'll get in a relationship, then they'll get burned so they go on the Internet and complain. It's not bitterness it's just periodic frustration.