Self Forgiveness or finding validation with yourself

[tinker683]

Hello all,

 

I had an epiphany last night: My big problem right now is that I can't forgive myself for the actions I've done to hurt myself and to hurt others over the past few years. I think this is one of the things I need to do if I'm going to resolve and get past my last relationships.

 

I'm a perfectionist at heart and hold myself to a MUCH higher standard than other people, so much so that I feel I have been incredibly unfair to myself.

 

So request and question is thus: I am looking for mantras, advice, web sites, books, whatever on self-forgiveness, seeking self-validation instead of validation from others, and not being so hard on ones self.

 

Thoughts/comments/cooking recipes?

[Philosoraptor]

Forgive yourself by taking what you have learned and applying it to your future actions. Life happens and you can't change the past, so do not live in pain over it. Just be the best you can be in the only time you can control, the present and future.

[Seductive]

I've had this issue of wanting validation as well. Metal motivation and think and grow rich are useful facebook applications that help inspire positive thinking and confidence.

 

Tut from the universe is a nice e-mail system with inspirational messages.

[SkyWheel]

Could you possibly approach those you feel you have wronged and talk to them? I'm no expert. I'm just aware that this is a common feature of 12-step (AA) programs.

[Seductive]

Could you possibly approach those you feel you have wronged and talk to them? I'm no expert. I'm just aware that this is a common feature of 12-step (AA) programs.

 

That might feel cleansing, but be aware that the person may not accept your apology or honesty. In most cases (at least in my experience), most people respect someone taking responsibility for their actions. I'm more likely to forgive someone that screws up and then says "'I'm truly sorry" versus someone that screws up and then ignores it like it didn't happen.