crimsonite Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 Hey guys, I got out of a 3 year relationship back in March and I've been talking to this girl at work that I've had a crush on for 3 years (she felt the same about me but I was in a relationship at the time). She was in an absolutely abusive relationship with this guy for 2 years and she finally broke up with him in April. I've been trying to be there for her ever since, and in May we started getting closer and soon FWB. We both talked about getting together but she wants to wait a bit to heal from that damage he did to her (he was her first), and she's not ready for a relationship yet. I agreed to wait to be official until she is ready but we are currently hanging out alone and with my friends as if we are together and a cute couple. It is July now and we're closer than I ever imagined. She told me TODAY, she's starting to fall in love with me but is scared to cause of her ex. Two days ago, I opened up her phone to a text with her coworker. They were flirting and she kind of provoked him to kiss her "lmao I bet you won't do it", and then several hours later she texted him "lol you win I didn't think you would do it". Seems to me he kissed her on the cheek or something. I indirectly asked her about it, "I had a dream that he kissed you, I'm a little worried. If he made a move on you would you tell me?" She said yes. Today, I noticed she deleted those texts and now I'm really concerned. I could trust her that she won't do it since today she told me she's falling in love with me but idk if she would just keep deleting texts before seeing me. I see her every night now and she doesn't text anyone when she's with me, she's having a great time when she's with me. What should I do? I'm faithful, treat her right, make her happy, so I don't see why she would do this. Please give me some advice. Thank you in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
Author crimsonite Posted July 14, 2013 Author Share Posted July 14, 2013 Why'd you snoop? Have you had the "we're exclusive" conversation? She received a text and wanted me to read it for her and under the person that texted her was her coworker. I didn't want to see it but my fat fingers hit the button to read it. Yes, we made it clear that we're seeing each other only. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crimsonite Posted July 14, 2013 Author Share Posted July 14, 2013 You're her f*ck buddy, not her husband. You need to look up the definition of FWB. She's clearly enjoying playing the field while keeping you firmly on stand-by. To claim she's "falling in love with you" while playing childish kissing games at work just proves she's keeping you on a string while exploring other options. But quite truthfully, she's doing nothing wrong. You're her FWB. She's not expected to be true to you. I had that view too, we're FWB not in a relationship so she didn't really do anything wrong. So you think I should just ignore this and continue on as nothing happened? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 So, you've made it clear that you're seeing each other only...yet you're FWB and not in a relationship. Which is it? These two statements sound entirely contradictory. It sounds like you're definitely not on the same page. Talk to her and get a clear idea about what she wants and what you want. If you really are just FWB, then don't expect her not to see other guys. If you're not comfortable with that, it's time to walk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crimsonite Posted July 14, 2013 Author Share Posted July 14, 2013 So, you've made it clear that you're seeing each other only...yet you're FWB and not in a relationship. Which is it? These two statements sound entirely contradictory. It sounds like you're definitely not on the same page. Talk to her and get a clear idea about what she wants and what you want. If you really are just FWB, then don't expect her not to see other guys. If you're not comfortable with that, it's time to walk. Sorry for the confusion. We made it clear that we're seeing each other only. At first we were FWB but after a few weeks we decided that we're seeing each other Only. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 I am going to suggest something.....others probably wont but...i think you should come clean...it wasnt right for her to kiss another guy or let another guy kiss her when she is exclusive with you........and it wasnt right for you to snoop and then not own up that you know already and then lie to her that you dreamt it tryign to get ehr to own up....the only way to make two wrongs into a right is to come clean and clear the air...start again with honesty and truth on both sides hopefully....hope it works out for you......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crimsonite Posted July 15, 2013 Author Share Posted July 15, 2013 I am going to suggest something.....others probably wont but...i think you should come clean...it wasnt right for her to kiss another guy or let another guy kiss her when she is exclusive with you........and it wasnt right for you to snoop and then not own up that you know already and then lie to her that you dreamt it tryign to get ehr to own up....the only way to make two wrongs into a right is to come clean and clear the air...start again with honesty and truth on both sides hopefully....hope it works out for you......deb Thanks for your advice, I feel like I should come clean as well. I'm wondering if this is something I should bring up when she's ready to start being official OR bring it up right now. And just play it off like it didn't hurt me but rather I feel concerned it happened? Just to show I'm not as insecure as she may think? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 Thanks for your advice, I feel like I should come clean as well. I'm wondering if this is something I should bring up when she's ready to start being official OR bring it up right now. And just play it off like it didn't hurt me but rather I feel concerned it happened? Just to show I'm not as insecure as she may think? i think the sooner it is out in the open you wont feel so conflicted....tension in a relationship whether exclusive or not comes out in the strangest ways..it isnt helpful..so avoid the tension altogether...when things are left to stew in your head left unsaid.... all you have to do is add a little heat and its gets sticky.....i wish you luck...deb Link to post Share on other sites
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