Another love song... Thanks to you

[Excelsior30]

Hi everyone, ready for another bed time story?

 

Like most of you, I've been reading stories similar to mine for the past 4 months trying to figure out what the **** happened to my relationship. The LDR has not started this way. We met through a common friend one summer. She did not strike me the first time. She came to my place with her friend and two weeks later I had to ask who she was. Not love at first sight. Still, we saw more of each other and ended dating 2 weeks later. I came to realize that I loved that girl a lot. I told myself I would not **** around like I did with other girlfriend before. Mind is strong and I've actually been able to even love her defects. I've been the first one to say the 3 words and maybe quickly.

 

I'll save you from my writing and try to get fast to the point. After spending few months together and away. After a crazy 24h trip to NY together from our hometown (16h away from New-york on way) and me joining her on her 2 month trip in Hawaii and having a blast together. After dealing with her new job in a new town 3 hours away from mine and after having plans about me coming to live with her... This relationship ended after 1 1/2 year. (I'm male 30 - She's 24)

 

She showed me few red flags I haven't really paid much attention... "you fool". She was getting impatient with things I did or said. She was not sure about me moving with her, scared if things would not work out for me.

 

I was her longest relationship. Most of them lasted at best 6 months.

 

The day she did leave me we had a small fight. She called me at the end of the day (she was in my home town for a job training) and told me that she had some extra time for me before to head back home. I went to pick her up. I felt things were awkward in the car and right away I asked her if she still loved me. The answer was "I think I don't". At that very moment I was crushed. Drove her to my place for a chat. I kept myself pretty composed for the situation but my head was spinning. I even offered her a ride back home but she told me her dad would come and pick her up. I think I took it as a man even though I've cried my eyes out afterwards and stopped eating for a week. I've called her once. She reassured me she was sure of her decision, she told me it was hard because I had become her best friend and that she loved me somehow... probably... as a #@*! friend. She offered me her friendship which I refused. Then I removed all the people I knew from Facebook who might give me news of her. I removed her parents but before sent them some kind words (we were close to each other's parents), same for some of her friends. After cleaning Facebook... I cleaned my account good by deleting my Facebook account. Two weeks later, I hit the gym hard and refocused on my business.

 

... I've stopped calling, texting and went NC to heal. She asked about me to a close friend and wonder how come I took it so well. She has been forced to reach me for news. We've exchanged a bit since but nothing major... My brain is now trained to see her as a stranger in some ways... and as crazy as it sounds, even if you think you are doing ok, somewhere, in the back of your mind, you hope that one day she will call. I've dated plenty of other girls, I've never been in such a great shape and my life's focus is back on me... and will never go back to a girl.

 

I wanted to say thank you to the community today. You've helped me go through. I think this helps so many people and not everyone comes here just to say... Hey! You did help me... Thank you. So I do today!

Edited July 15, 2013 by Excelsior30