no contact?

[WMW13]

Need opinions

 

I’m very happy and well adjusted in my current life. Many, many years ago while I was a young adult I dated an emotionally and physically abusive man. When I was finally able to get away-I was stalked for months. Shame prohibited me from calling in help from the authorities. He stopped after about a year. I employed “no contact” during the stalking and moved on with a healthy, happy life.

 

Every few years since then he has attempted to contact me through various sources. He has gotten no information on me and I would ignore all attempts at his contacts. Still no contact.

 

A couple years later he posted on a public message board that he wanted to apologize for things and then went on to write a few paragraphs blathering on about how “fabulous” he was doing. He doesn’t know if I saw it or not. I didn’t respond. It was a “non apology” and I am not interested. I have been STRICT no contact since the stalking ended. I have moved numerous times (not to avoid him-just life) and I didn’t think he knew where I was.

 

Until now. YEARS later, he has found me on my employers social media site. He sent a 2 word message there. I ignored it. I blocked him on my personal site. He is now attempting more contact thru my works site. Just small statements to “let me know” he is THERE and is aware of where I am. I ignored.

 

Here is my dilemma. I am ANGRY. I am ANGRY he won’t just GO AWAY FOR GOOD. It is a reminder of a time in my life I would like to remain in the past.

Everything and everyone keeps telling me “Continue no contact” but the angry part of me wants to tell him LEAVE ME ALONE. I don’t care what you have to say, I don’t want or need an (fake) apology from you. NEVER EVER EVER contact me again!!”

 

He is invasive, and even if it is only “every few years.”

 

Thoughts? If I have never contacted the authorities about this (but now have many friends in law enforcement) would it just anger him? If I tell him to leave me alone-would it possibly WORK?????

[Leegh]

Since you don't know what his mental state is, I would not take any chances. Did he have any type of mental illness? Do you know if he is married now and/or working?

[WMW13]

Since I have stayed no contact-I am not sure of his current situation. I do know that he was married and he did work. That was years ago though. Anything could have happened. I did decide to remain no contact. nothing to be gained from any contact there. I am just hoping he will go away and figure out that my no contact actually speaks volumes.

[Emilia]

A couple years later he posted on a public message board that he wanted to apologize for things and then went on to write a few paragraphs blathering on about how “fabulous” he was doing. He doesn’t know if I saw it or not. I didn’t respond. It was a “non apology” and I am not interested.

How do you know about this post?

Until now. YEARS later, he has found me on my employers social media site. He sent a 2 word message there.

How did he through? Have you told the administrators to block him?

[steveT95]

Can you not get a restraining order? You don't want to have any contact with him but I am sure the authorities would look into it since it seems quite a serious stalker issue.

[camillalev]

Keep records of his contact with you, in case you need to take action. Its been years since you initiated no contact, if he hasnt taken the hint by now, he wont. He sounds like a potentially dangerous guy, he is still focused enough on you to look for and track you down after all these years. And puts in the effort to reach and and 'let you know' he's aware of where you are. Its scary. Please do something.

 

EDIT: Also, if he is aware of the company where you work, he can easily find you if he so pleases.

Edited July 23, 2013 by camillalev