70% of the Women go for 15% of the Men?

[jrh1524]

I hear this a lot in dating forums.

 

Do you think the maxim is true that the top 70% of women out there only go for the top 15% of the men and the only time a "regular" man can score a woman in the top 70% is when she's ready to "settle"? Adjust the percentages as necessary, but is something like this going on?

[clia]

No.

 

(10 characters).

[Simon Phoenix]

I always read it was 80 to 20, and quite frankly, it makes sense to me. It has always seemed to be that the men who do really well do extremely well and entice, at least in some way, the majority of women they come across, while the rest of the men have to scratch and claw for female attention. Of course, this doesn't mean that the 80 percent of women don't sometimes deviate outside of the 20 percent of men, but that theory seems consistent with what I've gathered.

[pteromom]

Adjust the percentages as necessary, but is something like this going on?

 

No. People - well, MOST people except for people on LS for some reason - don't think in percentages and statistics.

 

"Oooh, that guy smiled at me. Too bad he rates solidly in the 35th percentile. Maybe I will get his number in case I am still single when I'm 30."

 

It doesn't work that way. It's about connection and chemistry. Yeah, there will always be shallow women who only want arm candy, and shallow men who only want arm candy, but that's not the majority.

[serial muse]

These are quite simply made-up numbers courtesy of those who are trying very hard to assert their point of view. Apparently they think if they're repeated often enough they'll gain the veneer of truth. They are certainly working very hard at it, so kudos I guess.

[lissa90]

Yes, I agree. I read the statistics on an evolutionary psychology piece a a year or so ago. It does make sense.

[serial muse]

Yes, I agree. I read the statistics on an evolutionary psychology piece a a year or so ago. It does make sense.

 

Where?

 

(ten chars)

[StayBeautiful]

I hear this a lot in dating forums.

 

Do you think the maxim is true that the top 70% of women out there only go for the top 15% of the men and the only time a "regular" man can score a woman in the top 70% is when she's ready to "settle"? Adjust the percentages as necessary, but is something like this going on?

 

Yes. This is why 70% of women end up getting married, but only 15% of men do.

[serial muse]

Yes. This is why 70% of women end up getting married, but only 15% of men do.

 

Ha, this too.

 

Does the dating game seem unfair a lot of the time? Yes. And if you really want to, you could obviously make up all sorts of fake statistics to support the basic idea that the world is by design or collusion deeply unfair to you. Have at it if it makes you happy I guess. But I really don't much see the point.

[lissa90]

"Evolution of Desire" I think, I'm not 100% on which book - but evolutionary psych uses a lot of stats to back up their theories so I don't doubt it.

[lissa90]

Plus if you think about it, women are biologically wired to pick the "best specimen" for their offspring - regardless if they want to actually have kids at that present time. The same way in even though women in committed relationships subconsciously desire those same men whilst ovulating - good looking kids conceived with an alpha male but brought by with the beta male (cuckolded) because the beta will provide stability etc etc.

[sillyanswer]

Do you think the maxim is true that the top 70% of women out there only go for the top 15% of the men

 

I'm pretty sure that the women I date aren't in the bottom 30%, so I'll go with "yes" just so that I can pat myself on the back for being in the top 15%.

[Mrlonelyone]

Ha, this too.

 

Does the dating game seem unfair a lot of the time? Yes. And if you really want to, you could obviously make up all sorts of fake statistics to support the basic idea that the world is by design or collusion deeply unfair to you. Have at it if it makes you happy I guess. But I really don't much see the point.

 

Part of the theory is that the top 70% of women will marry a man they are marginally attracted to if at all, while having babies by a man in the top 15 - 20 % who looks enough like their husband.

 

It is not quite 70% of women who do that. However their is a kernel of truth to it.

 

One Out Of Ten People Weren't Fathered By The Man They Believe Is Dad - disinformation

 

This leads to the fact that men are very scared of a scenario where they end up raising another man's children.

 

Sexual Infidelity: Nature or Nurture? - Newsweek and The Daily Beast

 

Add to that the notion that we descended from ape-like hominids. Look at every other great ape.

 

One socially dominant male (usually with a mixture of politics and brute force) is able to either monopolize all the females or control who gets to have sex with who. Many of the under 25 ish male posters here are in situations where that seems approximate to what they are dealing with. They are in college or high school and they see little cliques based on petty attributes dominating the social and dating landscape. They are on the outside and want in.

 

The real secret for many of these guys really is to let time pass and see how, just after graduation, who and what seemed so important in school ain't worth a hill of beans out of school. That the "alpha males" on campus unless they are really truly smart, are probably going to be waiting tables for the next ten years off campus. That the couples that seem so happy on campus, fall apart without the protective bubble of campus. That outside the halls of high school things that make you Alpha there, just make you a street thug to the rest of the world.

 

There are alpha males in the world, guys like Putin, and Obama, and Burlesconi. So unless you run for President of the United States of America do not worry about being alpha.

[SJC2008]

Exceptions aside it is a fact that people date those of similar age, race, relgion and APPEARANCE. Translation: Leagues do exist and people tend to date those of similar desireability.

[lissa90]

Basically what I just said MrLonelyone!!

[CptSaveAho]

Part of the theory is that the top 70% of women will marry a man they are marginally attracted to if at all, while having babies by a man in the top 15 - 20 % who looks enough like their husband.

 

It is not quite 70% of women who do that. However their is a kernel of truth to it.

 

One Out Of Ten People Weren't Fathered By The Man They Believe Is Dad - disinformation

 

This leads to the fact that men are very scared of a scenario where they end up raising another man's children.

 

Sexual Infidelity: Nature or Nurture? - Newsweek and The Daily Beast

 

Add to that the notion that we descended from ape-like hominids. Look at every other great ape.

 

One socially dominant male (usually with a mixture of politics and brute force) is able to either monopolize all the females or control who gets to have sex with who. Many of the under 25 ish male posters here are in situations where that seems approximate to what they are dealing with. They are in college or high school and they see little cliques based on petty attributes dominating the social and dating landscape. They are on the outside and want in.

 

The real secret for many of these guys really is to let time pass and see how, just after graduation, who and what seemed so important in school ain't worth a hill of beans out of school. That the "alpha males" on campus unless they are really truly smart, are probably going to be waiting tables for the next ten years off campus. That the couples that seem so happy on campus, fall apart without the protective bubble of campus. That outside the halls of high school things that make you Alpha there, just make you a street thug to the rest of the world.

 

There are alpha males in the world, guys like Putin, and Obama, and Burlesconi. So unless you run for President of the United States of America do not worry about being alpha.

 

Obama is not alpha in any way

 

It's sad your perceptions of alphas are skewed

[Mrlonelyone]

Obama is not alpha in any way

 

It's sad your perceptions of alphas are skewed

 

People like Obama, Putin, and other heads of state are by definition Alpha. They lead many many other people.

 

Obama for instance can order someone's death by drone attack. Obama could order the military to Defcon 2, scramble our nuclear bombers, just to see if the Russians are still watching. (Given a certain defectors situation...if Putin wasn't so tired of him...we could be in that situation right now. I'll bet we're at defcon 4. He can just say to a woman "hey honey how'd you like to repopulate the post atomic world with me?)

 

There are plenty of women who would like to get with him. He has real worldly power. That's alpha.

[CptSaveAho]

No way Obama is a pussy and was only elected because he was in the right place at the right time... Timing and circumstances don't make you Alpha.

[Treasa]

Exceptions aside it is a fact that people date those of similar age, race, relgion and APPEARANCE. Translation: Leagues do exist and people tend to date those of similar desireability.

 

Everyone has a different opinion as to what a "league" consists of.

 

I go for the geeky, smart types that may not be all that to look at TO OTHER WOMEN, but I may think they're hot.

 

I don't think I'm in the bottom....uh, whatever it was....but I also avoided Statistics like the plague while I was in college. Then again, how I think I look is only MY opinion, which is the point I'm trying to make.

 

I'm not saying evolution doesn't play a part, but in this day and age, it's not necessarily the fastest, strongest, tallest man who's going to survive. Know what I mean? We're evolving. The information age has...oh, never mind. Carry on. I'm bored.

[Simon Phoenix]

Obama is not alpha in any way

 

It's sad your perceptions of alphas are skewed

 

You don't get to be the leader of the free world without being alpha.

[BradJacobs]

I hear this a lot in dating forums.

 

Do you think the maxim is true that the top 70% of women out there only go for the top 15% of the men and the only time a "regular" man can score a woman in the top 70% is when she's ready to "settle"? Adjust the percentages as necessary, but is something like this going on?

How about spinning it like this? Only 20% of the guys can get 80% of the women. The remaining 80% of men draw from much smaller pools of women.

[MrCastle]

What I will agree with is that a small portion of men do exceptionally better than most men.

 

But what I won't agree with is that there is a biological type that all women are programmed to follow.

 

The lady killers I know all range in ethnicity, income, height, dress style, appearance, and age. The only thing most of them have in common are their personality types. A type.

 

I've never seen a B type personality be a lady killer. Just the way it is.

[Rebellious]

I agree, it’s probably more like 90%/10%. Too bad they’ve outlawed polygamy. I tried keeping a harem in college but it’s exhausting and you get the cooties. Later on you have a wife and career so there’s no time for floozies, besides your wife will kill you when she finds out and there’s nothing worse than a dead alpha.

[SensitiveTJ]

This argument only makes coherent sense if all women find the same traits equally attractive. But since they don't, the "alpha" label, in my opinion, isn't very useful. Women can be attracted to almost any kind of man, not only the 10, 15, 20%. Same goes for guys.

[SJC2008]

Obama is not alpha in any way

 

It's sad your perceptions of alphas are skewed

 

You don't like him because he didn't follow your dating rule of play dumb. He asked Michelle out multiple times before she said yes.