Women, would you date a guy who had used escorts in the past?

[Eggplant]

As a male virgin, I will tell you that it doesn't feel that great. That's why I've made the decision to pursue being elite in my career instead. That way if a woman ever becomes attracted to me, I know it will be for my money instead of being for me. I'd dismiss her so fast it'll make her head spin.

 

You are just relishing the day when you'll be able to reject the women. I hope you tell off the right women who are superficial, and don't accidentally project the anger onto the wrong women who are into you.

 

Find a girl now while you aren't "elite" -- you'll know she's for real.

[KathyM]

There's nothing insecure about wanting to know someone's sexual history before having sex with them, so you can gauge risk level. And there's nothing insecure about wanting to gauge someone's level of character before starting a relationship with them. It's self protection.

[KathyM]

Unsurprising, in a country that oppresses it. I'd like to see how much it would change if they legalised it and made it safer and more lucrative.

It's no different than in countries where it is legal. It you want to look up the actual conditions for legalized brothels in other countries, you could look on the consolidated prostitution thread on LS. Beethebutterfly has posted many articles showing the dismal conditions sex workers have to deal with in countries where it is legal.

[KathyM]

There was just a single date. She refused another. Even though he spent $150 on her.

Then perhaps he should have gone on a less expensive first date. Very few women expect that kind of expense on the first date.

[KathyM]

Why not just ask for a clean STI test?

 

If it's clear, then any "dirtiness" you perceive is imaginary.

 

You can all ask you want, but if they tell you all the right answers whilst lying to your face, you won't know...

But the guy will know, won't he. He'll know he tricked the woman into a relationship based on false pretenses. He'll know she wouldn't be dating him if she knew his past. He'll know that when she looks lovingly at him, and trusts him, that it is based on a lie, since he was not honest with her.

 

An STI test doesn't gauge character. It only gauges current state of sexual health. Character is important to most women, as is their sexual health.

[KathyM]

Your sources are very biased.

There's plenty of sources out there. I've quoted government statistics, Justice Department statistics, and many other reliable sources in my postings about the statistics on prostitution. Where are your statistics?

[KathyM]

And I'm sure there are loads of horrible stories. But unless they're trafficked, there is a certain amount of lifestyle choosing going on there. Plus others who like it.

 

I think it's one of those things that is unfortunate, but far more dangerous when made illegal. A bit like drugs, and a bit like something else I won't mention by name.

75% to 95% of prostitutes were sexually abused as children. The average age of entry into prostitution is 13. Those are not prostitutes that are "choosing a lifestyle" or liking what they do. Those are people who have been exploited by others.

[KathyM]

But if he's an amoral a-hole, he won't care.

True.

The point is, we have to take people on faith until they wrong us. You can't expect the worst in people and suspect them if they give us no grounds to.

I think it makes sense to get to know a person, and find out what their position is on things. It's a part of getting to know a person. And that should be done before entering into a relationship with them. It's not about not trusting a person. It's about getting to know their character, their beliefs, their choices in life, etc.

[KathyM]

He won't give two ****s unless he's my virgin coworker.

Fortunately, many men DO have character, and would not stoop so low as to go to a prostitute, including your 50 year old coworker. Most women would prefer him over a lying, deceiving jerk who doesn't value women, and thinks of them as objects.

[KathyM]

As will the reformed slut and yet we encourage them to keep the past in the past because it's none of his business.

Sexual history IS a person's business if they are thinking of engaging in sex with that person, or are thinking of entering into a relationship with that person, regardless of gender.

 

As far as a reformed slut, I doubt she'll be asking about the guy's sexual history, so you have nothing to worry about.

[KathyM]

Clean test results are a person's business. Not who they slept with.

A person's past shows their character, their choices, their mindset, their values, etc., etc. I would certainly want to know the type of guy I was getting involved with before entering into a relationship with him.

[KathyM]

So a guy who decided to go to a prostitute that one time he was in amsterdam should definitely tell her but if he pounded out half of SoCal that's none of her business.

 

Got it.

That's not what I said. I think if it makes a difference to a woman what the guy's past was, she would ask. And if she asks, he should be honest with her. Why trick a woman into dating you? Why be with someone who doesn't share your values or beliefs? There really is no reason to lie. The women who are a match with your mindset would not be asking the question about your past in the first place. Why try to trick a woman who does care about what kind of guy you are into a relationship with you?

[KathyM]

If he was telling the truth.

 

At least a test result won't lie. I'd rather have something concrete, that can't be faked, and go with the flow re: the rest.

I'd rather have both. The test result AND knowing the guy's character. A clean test result only shows that he is currently without STDs.

[Revolver]

For anyone to assume that the clear majority of any given field enjoy their jobs is probably a bit optimistic.

 

Im sure the construction workers I just saw working in the sweltering heat don't particularly enjoy their job 100% of the time.

 

Lol most people hate their job. Especially people in retail.

 

But they do it because food needs to be put on the table

[Phantom888]

There is no difference between a prostitute and a porn star. There is no difference between a prostitute and a gold-digger. Yet prostitutes get all the heat because they do it with strangers, and are frequently putting themselves in danger.

 

When I dated models a while back, I met some prostitutes along the way, who were also in the modeling business. I would have deep conversations with them, and I really had sympathy for them. I wish prostitution were legalized so these woman can be protected and taxed. Some of the girls I met were educated and quite refined. They get beaten up, raped and robbed all the time because they are victims of the law themselves. It's really sad.

 

People who understand the sex trade would not judge the workers or the customers. It's only taboo because people don't understand it.

[Pompeii]

Fortunately, many men DO have character, and would not stoop so low as to go to a prostitute, including your 50 year old coworker. Most women would prefer him over a lying, deceiving jerk who doesn't value women, and thinks of them as objects.

 

Yet oddly enough, my friends who see women as nothing more than masturbatory devices are the ones who are never without female company... There's not really a huge incentive to be nice or respectful towards women. I do it because I know its the right thing to do.

 

There is no difference between a prostitute and a porn star. There is no difference between a prostitute and a gold-digger. Yet prostitutes get all the heat because they do it with strangers, and are frequently putting themselves in danger.

 

When I dated models a while back, I met some prostitutes along the way, who were also in the modeling business. I would have deep conversations with them, and I really had sympathy for them. I wish prostitution were legalized so these woman can be protected and taxed. Some of the girls I met were educated and quite refined. They get beaten up, raped and robbed all the time because they are victims of the law themselves. It's really sad.

 

People who understand the sex trade would not judge the workers or the customers. It's only taboo because people don't understand it.

 

 

I find that at the end of the day, whether you're with a prostitute or a "normal girl", its all the same. With divorce getting easier and easier every year, money being harder to come by, and women giving less and expecting more, you can expect even MORE men to visit prostitutes in the coming years. There just isn't that much of an incentive beyond starting a family for novelty's sake to have a girlfriend or wife. Financially and in terms of time, its just too much of a risk/expenditure. Why is it that the men who are the most highly desired are always going from woman to woman? That should tell you something.

Edited July 16, 2013 by Pompeii

[Sun Devil]

Women dont care about character, otherwise nice guys would not be complaining and jerks would not get anything.

[ThaWholigan]

Women dont care about character, otherwise nice guys would not be complaining and jerks would not get anything.

This assumes that being a nice guy or a jerk automatically means you have character. A classic misguided assumption.

[charlietheginger]

Tough call..... Devil advocate

 

Let's say he is really shy does not drink or smoke

Does not goto bars or the usual dating spots.

This kinda guy might pay for protected sex every

Few months to avoid being lonely....

 

So let's compare him to the dooche bag bar troller

That buys chicks drinks does cocaine in the bathroom

with skanks has reckless sexual ecounters.....

 

Wich of the two is worse ?

[KathyM]

Ask any lying, deceiving jerk whoe doesn't value women and thinks of them as objects whether or not they're virgins.

 

In fact, go to death row and ask them if they're virgins.

 

Guess most women wouldn't prefer his coworker.

Yet, the 50 year old actually had a date. The other guy is sitting in jail with no woman. Yes, the criminal probably got laid at some point by women with low character themselves. Maybe criminals. Maybe women with low self esteem who think they can't get any better. Or maybe he lied to the women to get into a relationship with them, and then they dumped him when they found out the truth about him. The question is, which would women most prefer, the 50 year old virgin or the lying, deceiving jerk who is in jail. Most women in their right mind would choose the virgin. But like I said, no reason to lie. The women that have the same mindset as you wouldn't be the type to ask about your history or care about it. So it's a win/win. If she asks, tell her the truth. Then if that's a dealbreaker for her, you will know that you weren't a match anyway.

[KathyM]

I have no problem with this, as long as you extend the same logic to promiscuous women.

 

Which most people here ( and in general ) don't do.

I would extend the same logic to promiscuous women. Let's say a former prostitute was dating a guy and he asked her about her sexual history. I think she has an obligation to tell him her past, since he will be counting on her honesty in order to determine their compatibility.

[KathyM]

Women dont care about character, otherwise nice guys would not be complaining and jerks would not get anything.

Women who have character themselves do care about character in the man they are dating. Women of low character would not care if the guy had sex with a dozen prostitutes before her, unless he had an STD or did it while with her. There really is no reason to lie about this. No reason to try to trick someone into a relationship with you. Just be honest, and some women won't care that you solicited prostitutes in the past. And those that do care would not be a good match for you anyway.

[KathyM]

Tough call..... Devil advocate

 

Let's say he is really shy does not drink or smoke

Does not goto bars or the usual dating spots.

This kinda guy might pay for protected sex every

Few months to avoid being lonely....

 

So let's compare him to the dooche bag bar troller

That buys chicks drinks does cocaine in the bathroom

with skanks has reckless sexual ecounters.....

 

Wich of the two is worse ?

I'd take neither. Plenty of guys with character to choose from that would not do either of those things.

[KathyM]

A former prostitute won't pickup a check. She'll expect everything to be paid for by you. You don't even need to be told her past. Now you'll say that doesn't necessarily mean she was a pro, but why would you want to be with someone that selfish?

What does this have to do with telling someone about a person's sexual history?

[Carenth]

Women dont care about character, otherwise nice guys would not be complaining and jerks would not get anything.

 

This would be working under the assumption that all "nice guys" have character. I've found in my experience that most guys who self label as "nice guys" have some serious issues themselves and more often than not are not nice at all.

 

Mostly in the forms of extreme sense of entitlement (I mean if you are nice to someone they owe you sex obviously?), jealously issues (all other guys but them are jerks/*******s right?), self deprecation/low self esteem, desperation and often end up developing hatred toward the opposite sex.

 

Then they lament why they are stuck in the situation they are in but refuse to look in the mirror.