Can I tell my father's family to leave me alone?

[Brand]

So why do you have people on your friendlist whom you dislike or don't want contact with?

 

I really don't know... I was curious at one point. That was before he died and then I asked my dad about it and he said my father was never a person he would want contact with. (probably because my dad would kick his ass, he's way protective over my mom.) So I lost interest in them too.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

I put pictures of my mom and I through the years on facebook, from just born to now, as a comparison as we get older. My brother commented on the album "you know, I always wondered what she looked like growing up. She's more beautiful than I imagined, you're a lucky guy, Brand."

 

I've been thinking about what I should say to them all in my leave me alone letter. I want to say so many rude things, but my mom taught me to always be polite to people. I know she'd be disappointed if she read it.

 

If you want, you can write the mean letter here, so you can say what needs to be said, and we can help you sterilize it so your mom would be ok with it.

[turnera]

Just unfriend them.

[Brand]

Just unfriend them.

 

I just unfriended them, and blocked them. I wanted to write a letter about how difficult things were for me, and my mom still did it, and went to school.

[turnera]

I'm proud of you. I know how hard it is, to 'seem mean' to people. But they aren't going to be in your life, so what they think or feel really isn't going to matter to you. You'll know you protected your own well being. Write them all a letter if you need to, and then leave it at that.

[Treasa]

What CC12 said. I was long estranged from my father and his family for very good reasons, and as I've gotten older I haven't really reconnected with any of them, but I haven't completely closed the door on the idea, either. For a long time in my life I had. I have started speaking to my father again, although it's still quite difficult.

 

This is a slight tangent, but in regards to the earlier question about sacrificing your happiness for someone else's child... If it was my husband who cheated on me and then created a baby with someone else, as pissed as I might be at HIM, I wouldn't want the baby or even the mother to be hurt in any way. In fact, I'd threaten my husband (in this hypothetical situation) that he'd BETTER help support and be there for his child, or else I'd cut his nutsack off.

 

At any rate, OP, I'm very glad you have a true "dad."

[Wolfcub]

From the emotional point of view you have your own dad, even if you got him years after you were born. You don't need these people emotionally, they are just as anybody else on this planet - no love, no hate for them (if they dont poke their noses in your business).

 

Information on your genetics could be useful. Just make sure its not them who are looking for an organ donor.... Joking. But you never know.

 

And finally there is an aspect that nobody else mentioned: inheritage. Your mom was seduced, abused and left, you were left to grow up in total powerty, while they had more or less ok conditions once your biological father was a boss of at least one person, possibly more. You can certainly say that you can now support yourself and don't need or want their money. But its actually not ALL their. Some part of it is legally your. Why not take it? You did not have any financial aid from him when you most needed it, but go get it now. Its always nice to have some extra cash. See a lawyer!