netgirl Posted December 24, 2000 Share Posted December 24, 2000 Hey, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We tried having sex but did not succeed. He could not enter me. I would like to get some feedback on how important is sex in a relationship of this long? By the way, my boyfriend does not force me to do it or anything, this is just for my own reference. I sort of feel very guilty, i'm always very tense and spoil everything. Can someone give me advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 24, 2000 Share Posted December 24, 2000 Sex is only as important as you make it, but generally it is a pretty essential ingredient of a fulfilling relationship. You need to see a doctor to see if there are any medical reasons for this problem. If it's simply because you are tense, have some wine before lovemaking or do other things to relax yourself. If the foreplay is sufficient and fun, you should be ready with no problem. If you feel this may be a psychological problem, see a therapist. I don't think most men will stay with a woman forever, and vice versa, without intercourse. So this is a problem you will have to solve. Don't be shy about getting medical help if you are unable to relax sufficiently. There could very well be a biological cause, although it seems your gynecologist would have discovered it well before now if such existed. Link to post Share on other sites
Stargazer Posted December 25, 2000 Share Posted December 25, 2000 Hi Netgirl, Would agree with Tony here, sex is as important or unimportant as a couple choose to make it. Generally though it's a biggie, it's how two people express how they really feel about the other, physically. I would say that you don't have a problem physically, it's more that you were tense and weren't relaxed enough. Concentrate on relaxation first, ask your boyfriend to give you a nice long massage first, that works a treat, then spend lots of time on foreplay, that will get your love juices (so to speak) going, that's all I really think you need here (try lubrication otherwise). Don't feel guilty, that's the last thing you need going on in your head here. Focus on the pleasure and sensations you are feeling. Set the mood - candles, incense, these all go along way in relaxing you and him. Focus on the 'problem' at hand rather than focusing on whether or not he will leave you because you can't get to that stage, just yet. Relax girl, trust me, that's all you need! Merry Christmas Link to post Share on other sites
Stargazer Posted December 25, 2000 Share Posted December 25, 2000 Hey Netgirl, Go check out this site, it will help you LOTS! http://www.allaboutsex.org/first_intercourse_whattodo.html Link to post Share on other sites
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