Ex's Success: Does it bother you?

[onearthur]

Need your view(s)...

 

Some background: So, I was in a 8 year relationship, got cheated on, confronted my partner, got an apology and then I broke up (I'm making it sound trivial but it was EPICALLY painfully).

Fast forward 6 months, partner has moved country, doing well in a new job, has a new partner and generally appears to be having a great time, some common friends have even commented "appears to finally have found true happiness".

 

As my partner is now an ex and no longer a part of my life, I've found myself begging the following question(s):

 

Why does it bother me?

Does Karma exist?

 

Any advise / experience / thoughts that you can share would be truly, deeply appreciated...

[Philosoraptor]

It bothers you simply because you are still keeping tabs on him. Stop looking and it wont matter how he is or what he is doing, because you wont know.

 

We should wish all people well, even those who have done harm to us.

[Bito]

I understand these feelings but philosorapter is right. Do not Wish ill will on anyone.

[jphcbpa]

You should be happy for him. Get to that place in your heart and this too shall pass.

[Arabella]

My ex used to always wish me happiness and all that BS after our break up, but I always felt it was fake.

 

I got a new job, moved in with my new boyfriend, got pregnant, financial situation improved significantly, graduated from my degree, etc etc...

 

In the same span of time... he accomplished... well, nothing.

 

Every time we spoke (had to because of unfinished business), I could hear the resentment and bitterness in his voice.

 

All the while, he still kept saying he wished me the best. While gritting his teeth.

 

So glad we don't have to talk anymore. It almost made me feel guilty for being so happy. Almost...

[will1988]

This is why I burn bridges during / after the break ups... and then never look that person up again. I've heard a few of my exes who hurt me deeply are doing well with their lives... I too am doing well with my life. I take it as an as is, and wish them nothing but happiness. I learned to forgive and to forget. Works for me.

[BradJacobs]

This is why I burn bridges

I do this too. Burn it to the ground then your eyes are always looking ahead instead of behind.

 

I've never heard anyone else admit to this and my friends all think I'm weird for doing it this way.

[Leegh]

I'm not sure if I believe in karma, but perhaps in one, five or ten years the picture will be different. Your ex may not be in a relationship and you could be in a great relationship. Things change over time. I do not wish your ex any ill will, but the complete picture has not evolved yet. People date get married/divorced etc., everything is always evolving.

[will1988]

The way I look at it after these failed LTRs is that you've some how dodge a big bullet in some way, shape, or form. I also believe that everyone has someone out there that they are meant to be with. Call me a hopeless romantic if you will. But after I burn the bridges with exes and do a full on purge/clensing of them out of my life, after a little bit I am at peace with myself and at peace with how things ended, and then I forgive, forget, move on. If you keep trying to look this person up and keep trying to reach out, you are going to continue to keep getting hurt. Most people will advise against burning bridges... but i wont, it has worked wonders for me. although it causes a lot of drama in a short span of time, it makes the heart let go easier and makes it so that neither party wants to have anythingt to do with the other person ever again. for all i know all of my exes are millionares and living it up, or living on the streets... i wish them luck, and have forgiven them, but in all honestly i couldn't care less.

[crederer]

yah, karma exists but in a more indirect way than what you're picturing it. Just cause he did you wrong in the relationship doesn't mean he'll get wronged. But on a more macro scale, you get out of life what you put into it.