bohica Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 Hi I just moved back to my old town that was hit hard by Sandy. I moved out before the storm so it's been over a year since I've been here. I am 45 and don't know too many people here anymore. Though I wish I had more friends I enjoy getting out alone once in a while and having a beer and a meal. It is just something I enjoy doing. I will sit at the bar in a quiet area and just relax. I don't want to talk to anyone. Ill do this once a week. The bartender at this particular establishment started becoming very friendly with me and I noticed she was giving me a little bit more attention then the other people. We seemed to hit it off and she is very attractive but I don't want to make a pass at the bartender like all the rest of the guys. Eventually she asked me if I was on Facebook. We had a few exchanges but nothing too personal was said. Finally, I told her via chat on facebook that I was very attracted to her. I don't want to appear like all the rest of the guys wagging there tongue at her and saying cheesy lines but I wanted to have the balls to just come out and say it. I don't want anything in terms of relationships at the moment but I just wanted to be honest and just lay it out there on the table. Since that moment she has been ignoring me on Facebook. I sent her a message that she read but didn't respond to and there are other signs that she is stepping back from contact. Any thoughts ? I'd like to just play it really cool and I don't want to stop making my weekly lunch visits... Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 She's how old? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted July 16, 2013 Author Share Posted July 16, 2013 (edited) She's how old? Late thirties... She also knew it was my birthday and she didn't say anything. I am not heart broken over it. It's just facebook but it seems I may have scared her away a little. I just want a little impartial advise and feedback on how I should handle this. I think it's good that I put it out there. I'd just like to keep things cool and be able to have a meal at the bar with us getting along as we did. note: I have worked in that industry and I know all to well that talking and flirting with customers is part of the job. I also know that she gets hit on 10 times a day by the same guys. I don't want to be that person. I want to be honest with what I want and who I want it from. I am not looking for a relationship at the moment. I am in the midst of getting my life in order and that is a priority. That said, I do have needs and having a little companionship (nsa) once is a while would be really nice. Edited July 16, 2013 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted July 16, 2013 Author Share Posted July 16, 2013 Is my post too long ,just not interesting enough or did I post in the wrong section? Just wondering how to get good helpful responses on here. Link to post Share on other sites
kamani Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 You say your attitudes towards her are different from others attending the bar and I wonder how it is. In short, from what you've written you have acted like just another guy attending the bar, who flirted with her. Take it easy. Attend the bar as usual and talk friendly. Don't chase her asking why she's ignoring you in FB etc. She'll treat you just like another client. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted July 16, 2013 Author Share Posted July 16, 2013 Other thrn telling her what I told her(outside of her job btw) I am not really guilty of the flirting. I sit at the bar, have casual conversion and keep to myself. I see a lot of guys making passes at her and she just blows them off. I like your advise though. Just act normal and don't even mention anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted July 16, 2013 Author Share Posted July 16, 2013 What were you're intentions with this woman? Because saying I'm attracted to you (I want to get in your pants) is different than you're attractive (you're pretty/cute/beautiful) is different than let's meet up for a beer some time (I think you're really cool and would like to get to know you)... which is maybe what yuou meant? BTW she didn't unfriend you so you may have another shot, she probably just hears that line all the time Well, is say all of the above really. Your attractive, I am attracted to you I want to get In your pants. My here is, how do I handle my situation? I like going there to have a meal and a beer. Post it cool, Make a joke about it, don't mention it at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted July 17, 2013 Author Share Posted July 17, 2013 Ok..my apologies. I was sending a response from a broken cell phone. I meant to say. ' My question is, how should I handle the situation ?' I like going to have a meal and a beer. Should I play it cool and not mention it at all or should I make a joke of it?' Link to post Share on other sites
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