sillymongoose Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 I have said this to my hubby until I cannot even cry over it anymore. He shows me NO emotion or affection. I cannot tell you how many nights I have cried and cried and he swears that things will change. I am a stay at home mom with two little ones. (3 and 2). I try to do everything around the house so all he has to do is come home, play with the kids, and show me some attention as well. It used to be "Oh I am so tired. Wait until the weekend" and then the weekend would come and go. What can I do? I am begging him for some sign that he is physically interested in me and I do now want to leave, but I feel like I have spent every ounce I have to try to get it through to him. It has been MONTHS since he has even kissed me, let alone had sex. And trust me when I say there is no one else. I know....there is not cheating. Please help me! Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 This marriage badly needs professional help since you have tried everything from your part. Link to post Share on other sites
hulavie Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 I feel sorry for you as you say that talking to him does not help. I have to agree with sami on this.... try suggesting professional help. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 Usually kids take mom away to their side from dad. It is unusual for two young kids to turn dad completely off unless there are other factors. In absence of an apparent cause (physical or emotional) nothing will really help short of professional help if both parties decided to stay together. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 I agree with the others...Some kind of therapy has to be introduced...Both couples therapy and maybe therapy for him? Is he stressed out about work? Depressed? Family (meaning outside your immediate family) probls? He could have some depression or self esteem issues and that is why he isn't feeling sexual at all? I am just throwing questions your way, but I am sure you've probably thought them through as well. I don't understand why he isn't being intimate with you, not even a kiss. That must really hurt and be hard on you. I do hope things get better! Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Counceling I think would be your best bet. What does he do if you move in for a kiss yourself? Does he push you away, would he kiss back? Is there anyway you could get a babysitter and go out on a date with your husband? Maybe if you could go out on a date with him it could rekindle the spark. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 a date will do no good if the man is not into. He is too far into his own world ladies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sillymongoose Posted October 25, 2004 Author Share Posted October 25, 2004 There are no problems with him as far as his family goes. A HUGE family but for the most part, we all get along. I know his dad and two brothers treat their wives the same way. My mother in law says that there are some things you just learn to accept. I will not allow myself to settle for no emotional or physical affection. My family is small, just my mom and two sisters and they are great too and we all get along great as far as family goes. Work, well, he is a school principal and just as teachers go, we tend to bring home problems with us. He has a pretty supportive staff so there is no problems as far as bad teachers go. I have been in therapy ever since my dad died nine years ago. When we were dating and engaged the passion was out of this world. But when we got married, I would still wear sexy clothes and he would never get interested. I do not know what happened. He used to go to Victoria's Secret and buy stuff for me, but when we got married, everything stopped...well I guess not everything because we had two kids. He shows plenty of affection to the kids but not to me. I used to be the aggressor, but after a while of being pushed away with "I am too tired" I stopped trying. Date nights? Yeah right....his response is "Why did we have kids if we are acting like we don't?!" I think professional counseling would be great for him. I have discussed this with my therapist for a long time and I have come to the conclusion that you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink. Link to post Share on other sites
Duntymolly Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 I am going through the same thing with my husband. He works all the time. I am home with the three kids. I tried just now to lay my head in his lap and he "had to go smoke." I don't smoke.. so.. anyhow.. when he came back in, he sat in a different chair. I KNOW HE ISN'T CHEATING. So, if he isn't cheating, I feel even worse. I don't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by Duntymolly I am going through the same thing with my husband. He works all the time. I am home with the three kids. I tried just now to lay my head in his lap and he "had to go smoke." I don't smoke.. so.. anyhow.. when he came back in, he sat in a different chair. I KNOW HE ISN'T CHEATING. So, if he isn't cheating, I feel even worse. I don't get it. Could this be sexual avoidance? Possibly he's worried that affectionate physical gestures will lead to a sexual encounter. Are you initiating sex, or just trying to get a little affection from him? And can he tell the difference? Link to post Share on other sites
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