Author Aunt Fairy Posted July 21, 2013 Author Share Posted July 21, 2013 Thank you BC1980 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eachcomingnight Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Hey. I'm so glad to hear that it went well. At this point it seems like it's up to you to figure out how things are going to move forward. Please keep us updated! I am meeting with my ex this coming Saturday and I have many of the same concerns that you do. I'd love to hear how you start working through these, if you choose to... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aunt Fairy Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Good luck for Saturday! Ill keep you posted, he wanted to meet up mid week but I pushed it back until the weekend, he says how hes missing me already but I think thats a good sign & I want to remain the one in control, so he may just wait afew extra days! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I definitely would pace the relationship at this point even if he wants to see you more often. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aunt Fairy Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Totally agree BC1980, I want to remain the one in control. Plus, because there was no awkwardness, I could easily see us just slipping back into our old relationship, not that anything was wrong with it but I just dont want to rush and become so familiar that quickly. I want this to be a fresh start not just picking up where we left off.. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Don't make it too easy to get back together for the first few months. He needs to work a little. Of course, don't let him know that:-) He will appreciate you more in the end if he had to work a little for you. Don't be mean or distant, but don't just go rushing back like you can't live without him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eachcomingnight Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 (edited) hi how are things going for you? i met with my ex this weekend. we went for a hike and ended up just chilling on a rock by the water for a couple of hours, talking. he made it clear that he's interested in trying things again once i get over to his country. he said that based on what i've told him and what he's been through he thinks that we could end up with a stronger relationship this time around where we are more comfortable talking about the serious issues that we previously kind of "danced around." my situation is a little different from yours as he is not making any promises about commitment. after all, his anxiety pre-breakup stemmed from the fear that once we actually were in the same place things might not work out the way we imagined they would - and he was really scared of this happening after i had already picked up and moved across the world. he has expressed that he was not interested in anybody else during the months we were apart, and that if i had not insisted that I did not want to hear from him again that he would likely have been begging for me back within a matter of weeks - but said that this would not have given the time that he needed to "get his head straight." i explained to him that i had worked hard to move past him and that i didn't know if i'd be able to let him back in again, even if i am willing to try. he said that he totally understood, and that while he hoped i would be open to spending some time together and seeing how it works out when we are in the same place, he recognized that in the meantime I might meet someone else who sweeps me off my feet and said he would respect that even though it would devastate him. he asked how i felt seeing him/talking with him again, and the only way i could describe it is "natural"... not overwhelmingly positive or negative, just peaceful... i feel confident that no matter what happens i will be okay. i do have some decisions to make, though. i definitely feel my old anxiety about commitment (which i had felt in every relationship prior to this one) creeping back in. i wonder if i will need to spend some more time being single/dating before i'm ready to give him another chance. i fear that otherwise i might worry that this is not the right decision for me. and if that's the case, does it even make sense to give him a chance at all, or is that my mind telling me i'm ready to move on for good? i really, truly loved him... but now i wonder if i can ever get those feelings back. Edited July 30, 2013 by eachcomingnight Link to post Share on other sites
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