daysie Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 I really need to talk to someone about a problem I have. I have been married for the past ten years to a man that has cheated on me but will never admit it. We have had problems for many years and just can't get along. We have talked about a divorce but I honestly can't afford to divorce him right now. I have been talking to another man for the past 10 months and he seems really interested in me. We've only seen each other three times and the last time I saw him was five months ago. He wants to wait until I'm divorced to see each other again and I really admire him for this decision. He sends me text messages and we talk over the computer a lot. Up until a week ago, I talked to him at least once a day and most of the time more than that. Usually by texts. He just told that he thought we had something really different than he had ever had. I really thought he cared a lot about me and he always told me that he wasn't seeing anyone. I just found out that he spent the night at a girl's house and his reply was that she is just a friend but since I told him I knew he had spent the night at a girl's house, he hasn't texted me much at all and then only after I texted him first. I truly believe this man loves me because there men usually don't keep a relationship going without getting something....and he has only talked to me for the past 5 months...we haven't seen each other alone....just at school events. What should I do? I can't get him off my mind and really want to see him after I can afford to divorce my husband. Please any thoughts would be greatly appreciated... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted October 25, 2004 Senior Moderators Share Posted October 25, 2004 Get a job, get a loan and you'll be able to afford a divorce. They aren't all that expensive if there's not a lot of litigation involved. Staying in a bad marriage in not want you want to do. As for this man you have your eyes on, he has every right to see any woman he desires and to spend the night with her. You are married and he has no obligations to you at all. I'm surprised he's stuck around for ten months but it doesn't take a lot of effort to send text messages and talk on the computer now and then. If I were you I'd write the guy off because unless you get a divorce soon he will surely move on to other available women (which he seems to be doing.) Get out of your current marriage and open your life up to new happiness. You may be surprised on how much more fulfilling your days can be. Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 I agree with Tony. IF you're that unhappy in your marriage then get a divorce. This other gentleman may care about you, but he doesn't "owe" you anything, you're married. With that said... IF you really want a relationship with this other guy, then get your divorce first... and one more thing I will throw out there.. don't divorce your husband if it's based soley on your wanting this other guy right now. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author daysie Posted October 25, 2004 Author Share Posted October 25, 2004 Thanks so much for your thoughts, I know I need to get a divorce but the job I'm in right now pays little to nothing and if I quit, then I will never get a job in my career field....I have my master's and when a position opens up, then I can afford to get another job. As for the other man....my husband and I have been talking about getting a divorce for at least a year before the other man entered my life.....and you are so right...he owes me nothing...thanks for helping me see that...thanks again!! Link to post Share on other sites
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