what to do?????

[sarybell]

yesterday i posted a message asking for advice and now i need more. My situation is, i'm engaged,and have met someone through the internet. my fiance and i have been together for a while so he and i dont generally give the attention to each other like we used to. in fact i think were so comfortable with each other that we dont even do things as a couple more like two life long friends, which is good but there is something missing. I met a man about a month ago and i think maybe someone new paying attention to me has gone to my head, but today i emailed him telling him i basically dont want to talk to him anymore and i feel sooooooo horrible about it. I am sad,and confused and feel like i'm being a bad partner for having feelings for another man.But i'm not even sure how i feel about him. i am at a loss. anybody out there that can help me please do,and thank you to tony and pat for responding to my first message.

[Pat]

Well, what do you think yourself?

 

We wrote you what we think yet, you still wrote the same thing as before?

 

What do YOU think you should do if someone else wrote what you did?

[Stargazer]

Hi Sarybell,

 

First up let me say this, if you have the slightest doubt about getting married then for your sake (and everyone else's) please don't do it. Marriage is a commitment for life, that's the idea, you've got doubts about this guy NOW, you said it yourself, there are things missing from this relationship, why do you want to marry someone who feels like a best friend, someone who wants to live with Mum and Dad after he's married, that's no grounds to start a life together.

 

Second thing I want to say is what the hell are you thinking about marriage at your age? I can see divorce by your name, do you really want that? You don't even know who YOU are yet, believe me you don't, you have no idea how much you will change as a person between now and 30. It drives me nuts when I see people at your age thinking about marriage, what is the rush, really, you've got at least another 50 to 60 years in front of you.

 

I'm glad that you've met this other guy, everything happens for a reason you know, there are no coincidences on this planet, you attract to you what you need to learn. You need to see that your feelings for your fiance aren't enough to be getting married to him. That's why this other guy has come along, for you to think about what you are going to get yourself into, for you to doubt where you are at right now. I would suggest you break off your engagement, for now at least, until you have some time to really think about what you want. You are 20 years old sweetie, get yourself a life, find out who you are, you don't need a man to do that, just yet.

 

Merry Christmas to you :-)

[Deejette]

But don't get so snowed by the internet guy either. As I have written before, these internet romances can be nothing but the magician's smoke and mirrors.

Hi Sarybell, First up let me say this, if you have the slightest doubt about getting married then for your sake (and everyone else's) please don't do it. Marriage is a commitment for life, that's the idea, you've got doubts about this guy NOW, you said it yourself, there are things missing from this relationship, why do you want to marry someone who feels like a best friend, someone who wants to live with Mum and Dad after he's married, that's no grounds to start a life together.

 

Second thing I want to say is what the hell are you thinking about marriage at your age? I can see divorce by your name, do you really want that? You don't even know who YOU are yet, believe me you don't, you have no idea how much you will change as a person between now and 30. It drives me nuts when I see people at your age thinking about marriage, what is the rush, really, you've got at least another 50 to 60 years in front of you. I'm glad that you've met this other guy, everything happens for a reason you know, there are no coincidences on this planet, you attract to you what you need to learn. You need to see that your feelings for your fiance aren't enough to be getting married to him. That's why this other guy has come along, for you to think about what you are going to get yourself into, for you to doubt where you are at right now. I would suggest you break off your engagement, for now at least, until you have some time to really think about what you want. You are 20 years old sweetie, get yourself a life, find out who you are, you don't need a man to do that, just yet. Merry Christmas to you :-)