kara03 Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 i was browsing the site, came across this forum and quickly realized that a post i made a week ago, should have definitely been posted here.... and it went something like this (sorry if it's lengthy) ah, i'm new here... with a story to share, mainly because i'd like feedback since i like to overanalyze everything. lol. here goes: - I've got this friend, we'll call him Justin. I met him through another friend about 5 years ago and had an immediate attraction to him. We're not really close friends, we hang out from time to time and always have fun. I've had a small crush on him since the day I met him, but whenever he was single I wasn't, and vice versa.... Until this past year. I hung out with him more over the summer and realized that the old high school crush i'd had on him was completely different now. (btw, we're both seniors in college now, different schools - he's 22, i'm 21). Now, I found myself attracted to little things about his personality, not just his cute looks. - So... last March, when we were on spring break, we went to a party at a friend's house. Joked about how it was funny when we were younger, we'd play truth or dare at parties... now, most of us there were drunk, and got the great idea to play the game again... short story -> what's he do, but dare me to kiss him... and i did, and it was amazing... So I decide to wait until I come home for the summer to figure things out, that'd it'd just be to difficult to figure things out then... and what happens when i come home, I start dating a kid I had went to high school with... - Now, having broken up with the kid i went to high school with, my friends and i had an early halloween party this past weekend. Apparently the only time Justin and I aren't too chicken to confess our feelings is after we've had a few drinks... and we did. after everyone had left, he and i remained. We hooked up (and after talking about it the next day, neither of us regret it at all...) and spent the night together... ... i feel i should add a side note here too, so everyone doesn't get the idea that he is a typical guy - i do know him quite well and know that he is the type of guy who doesn't hook up randomnly (neither do i for that matter) - but, we actually had a conversation once about how sex should be special, and in the confines of a committed relationship... blah blah blah... - So, the next day I saw him while visiting a friend of ours. When we left, as I was walking to my car, he grabbed my hand to pull me next to him and kissed me.... Sounds great, yes? Finally after all this time, and after only being able to admit feelings for one another when intoxicated, i get a kiss from him when we're both sober... ... but now, one day later - i find myself overanalyzing it all, trying to figure out what's going on in his head. I know i'd really like to date him, but i don't want to be pushy. but i also want to know if he'd be interested.... So, i guess my real question is, how does one make the transition from friends (but never really close friends...) to a relationship, if that is in fact what he wants... and after i posted this... what happens but him dropping the "i think we should just be friends" line... and it wouldn't upset me if i didn't know that was a lie.... so maybe the question now, is what happened with him, did he just chicken out or what? any feedback would be much appreciated. -Kara Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Kara, Well, I'm so sorry that happened. You know sometimes you can build someone up in your head so much... have a lot of expectations of how they should be, will be... then once you finally have an opportunity... you find out they are not exactly what you had thought... There are a lot of different reasons Justin might have come to the conclusion that he only wants to remain your friend and not get into a relationship... Could be that he just really isn't all about being in a committed relationship at this time.. or that he was already seeing someone else (I know you won't want to believe that, but there is that potential) could be that after hooking up it made him feel awkward so he doesn't want to persue anything more.. could be he is that guy who maybe doesn't hook up at random.. but none the less you were there, he was there.. one thing lead to another.. and that is just where he wants to leave it... Regardless of what his reason(s) are/were.. it sucks! At this point, I would just not sweat him.. and leave it alone. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Yes, he chichened out I guess. What do you want to do with a chicken ????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kara03 Posted October 25, 2004 Author Share Posted October 25, 2004 that's a very good question... what do i want w/ a chicken? lol. and... after some debate with friends who know both him and i very well, they seem to have concluded that it's probably he just wants to be friends right now... being as - two days after the whole situation happened, i had to come back to school... so i guess in retrospect, it would be kind of hard to start something up, with me being two hours away. So, for now, i'm just gonna continue to be friends w/ justin and maybe see what happens when i'm actually home for an extended period of time (ie, christmas break). Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Nothing will happen if he is a real big chicken. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Originally posted by kara03 i was browsing the site, came across this forum and quickly realized that a post i made a week ago, should have definitely been posted here.... and it went something like this (sorry if it's lengthy) ah, i'm new here... with a story to share, mainly because i'd like feedback since i like to overanalyze everything. lol. here goes: - I've got this friend, we'll call him Justin. I met him through another friend about 5 years ago and had an immediate attraction to him. We're not really close friends, we hang out from time to time and always have fun. I've had a small crush on him since the day I met him, but whenever he was single I wasn't, and vice versa.... Until this past year. I hung out with him more over the summer and realized that the old high school crush i'd had on him was completely different now. (btw, we're both seniors in college now, different schools - he's 22, i'm 21). Now, I found myself attracted to little things about his personality, not just his cute looks. - So... last March, when we were on spring break, we went to a party at a friend's house. Joked about how it was funny when we were younger, we'd play truth or dare at parties... now, most of us there were drunk, and got the great idea to play the game again... short story -> what's he do, but dare me to kiss him... and i did, and it was amazing... So I decide to wait until I come home for the summer to figure things out, that'd it'd just be to difficult to figure things out then... and what happens when i come home, I start dating a kid I had went to high school with... - Now, having broken up with the kid i went to high school with, my friends and i had an early halloween party this past weekend. Apparently the only time Justin and I aren't too chicken to confess our feelings is after we've had a few drinks... and we did. after everyone had left, he and i remained. We hooked up (and after talking about it the next day, neither of us regret it at all...) and spent the night together... ... i feel i should add a side note here too, so everyone doesn't get the idea that he is a typical guy - i do know him quite well and know that he is the type of guy who doesn't hook up randomnly (neither do i for that matter) - but, we actually had a conversation once about how sex should be special, and in the confines of a committed relationship... blah blah blah... - So, the next day I saw him while visiting a friend of ours. When we left, as I was walking to my car, he grabbed my hand to pull me next to him and kissed me.... Sounds great, yes? Finally after all this time, and after only being able to admit feelings for one another when intoxicated, i get a kiss from him when we're both sober... ... but now, one day later - i find myself overanalyzing it all, trying to figure out what's going on in his head. I know i'd really like to date him, but i don't want to be pushy. but i also want to know if he'd be interested.... So, i guess my real question is, how does one make the transition from friends (but never really close friends...) to a relationship, if that is in fact what he wants... and after i posted this... what happens but him dropping the "i think we should just be friends" line... and it wouldn't upset me if i didn't know that was a lie.... so maybe the question now, is what happened with him, did he just chicken out or what? any feedback would be much appreciated. -Kara It is up the air.....NEVER GIVE UP THE GOODS TILL YOU KNOW WHERE YOU STAND. You are gambling. Who know? Link to post Share on other sites
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