hestheone66 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I posted this in a different thread. but think that it may have wider application: When starting to date, especially after being 'off the market' and not sure about what would be appropriate some age old advice... brief and to the point.. 1. be honest 2. be yourself but out of respect make an effort to present yourself well with courtesy, punctuality and cleanliness 3. dont play games 4. dont overthink or read more into a situation 5. be safe..dont expose a new lover to possible stds 6. be open but dont overshare 7. have fun
bluegreen Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I posted this in a different thread. but think that it may have wider application: When starting to date, especially after being 'off the market' and not sure about what would be appropriate some age old advice... brief and to the point.. 1. be honest 2. be yourself but out of respect make an effort to present yourself well with courtesy, punctuality and cleanliness 3. dont play games 4. dont overthink or read more into a situation 5. be safe..dont expose a new lover to possible stds 6. be open but dont overshare 7. have fun But above all be lucky to find a person who actually appreciates that. And that's 100 times harder to do and find then any of this or more ... 5
Author hestheone66 Posted July 17, 2013 Author Posted July 17, 2013 But above all be lucky to find a person who actually appreciates that. And that's 100 times harder to do and find then any of this or more ... Luck has almost nothing to do with it... be confident, know your true worth and be clear on respect for self and others, and high calibre suitors will find their way to you..promise
Mrlonelyone Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Luck has almost nothing to do with it... be confident, know your true worth and be clear on respect for self and others, and high calibre suitors will find their way to you..promise That is quite false. Luck and circumstance have everything to do with it. The timing has to be rite, people need to be emotionally and life wise in the right place to form a relationship. They have to be unafraid of the loss of total control that falling in love is, they can't fear intimacy. etc. Some people are lucky and meet someone or two people in their life who really appreciate them for who they are, and are in the right place in life to build a relationship. Some people are unlucky in love. 3
jphcbpa Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 That is quite false. Luck and circumstance have everything to do with it. The timing has to be rite, people need to be emotionally and life wise in the right place to form a relationship. They have to be unafraid of the loss of total control that falling in love is, they can't fear intimacy. etc. Some people are lucky and meet someone or two people in their life who really appreciate them for who they are, and are in the right place in life to build a relationship. Some people are unlucky in love. That is one way to look at it
Author hestheone66 Posted July 17, 2013 Author Posted July 17, 2013 Just to clarify that the tips I posted were in regards behaving and being respected while dating.... it is not LUCK that we can find people to date and behave in a respectful and mutually appropriate manner. These tips help to avoid a lot of pitfalls one faces during dating simply because many people seem to have not been socialised in a way that has taught them basic elements of respect, honesty etc. With regards to finding a suitable partner to build a life with, I agree that timing, compatability, and a bunch of other factors are really important. I was merely talking about dating, NOT relationships.. they are quite distinct beasts... :cool:
Emilia Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I was merely talking about dating, NOT relationships.. they are quite distinct beasts... :cool: .. but how is your 'advice' (just a list of meaningless cliches really) helpful if it doesn't lead to a relationship? If it's just about dating then surely I can do anything including flashing my knickers. It's getting to the relationship part that's hard, non? What's the point of this thread? 2
Author hestheone66 Posted July 17, 2013 Author Posted July 17, 2013 I think the point is not everyone who dates is actually ready for or interested in pursuing a longterm relationship. Thats where the importance of honesty kicks in. We are all guilty of playing our cards close to our chests.. we may be looking for relationship, but if we enjoy a man's company, even if he has declared hes not at a stage for commitment, we will hang around hooing he'll change his mind and when he doesn't, get resentful.. Oscar Wilde wrote... women ruin a great romance with talk of always...
Mrlonelyone Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 .. but how is your 'advice' (just a list of meaningless cliches really) helpful if it doesn't lead to a relationship? If it's just about dating then surely I can do anything including flashing my knickers. It's getting to the relationship part that's hard, non? What's the point of this thread? I think the OP meant well. They sound like one of the lucky ones who think something has to be wrong with long term single people. We all know the type, usually married friends or relatives. OP when we find people available to date we do all you said. It just hasn't worked out yet. 1
ANewBeginning Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Only one is really needed: escalate.The two parties have to know its a date and not just two people hanging out. You sure aren't going to kiss someone you're not attracted to in 'that' way. To others that think luck etc play a role they'd best realise it don't. Dating is a numbers game that you're the lead character in. If things keep going wrong, whats the common denominator? You. That means its time to improve yourself etc. Don't kid that theres no one out there for you, you're just simply not trying hard enough or just going after the wrong type of people. 1
BradJacobs Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 To others that think luck etc play a role they'd best realise it don't. You don't control everything in the dating process. In fact your control and influence is very limited. Luck, as defined by having those things you don't control work out in your favor, plays a big role in dating. 3
T3h L337 d00d Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I have tips too man specific. 1) Only date girls you find attractive 2) Don't be a doormat 3) Be the man in the relationship 4) know what kind of relationship you're in 5) Don't expose yourself to STI's 6) Command respect 7) Enjoy her 2
Mrlonelyone Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 You don't control everything in the dating process. In fact your control and influence is very limited. Luck, as defined by having those things you don't control work out in your favor, plays a big role in dating. i.e. you never meet someone who is interested. You meet person after person, date for a while, and find that you really just aren't compatible long term.
bluegreen Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 But above all be lucky to find a person who actually appreciates that. And that's 100 times harder to do and find then any of this or more ... Awww thank you guys HUGS hope that we all managed to get that lucky one day soon ...
dbrown Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Hey.. The tips are really very nice and useful for all the beginners. I want to add that To get a successful date one has to be confidant and prompt. These are the two main things which girls like the most in guys.
Author hestheone66 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 Just saying my advice is not specifically for beginnerss and im not in ltr or married, though have been both. Married for 11 years when i was 20 and ltr of 12 years till i was 42. I have been happily singleand dating for past 4 years. I am happier single than in r'ship.
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