Jump to content

Getting over him..not sure if I can, or how.


Recommended Posts

Hi everyone, this is my first post here and it might be a long one. I just need some input and some support from someone who has been here before.

I'm 25, FWB is 30. We met at work, and after I left for another job we started sleeping together. We had always liked each other, but I refused to have anything romantic with him while working together. Now I'm glad because I can't imagine having to see him everyday the way things have turned out.

 

He initiated the relationship, he asked me if we could "be FWB and see if it leads into a relationship" and told me he couldn't get me off his mind. While working together, I told him I wasn't interested in relationships at this point in my life and so from the beginning he has been very cautious about his feelings. I agreed though and the sex was absolutely amazing, best I've ever had type of thing. We were seeing each other 3-4 times weekly and it was progressing into more but then I noticed he had added his ex who he keeps getting back together with on Facebook. When I asked him about her he deleted her off fb and claimed he hadn't been out with her. But later that night his friend posted pictures of himself with my buddy and his ex at a bar. That's fine because we werent in a committed relationship but I was upset he lied when things had been going so good. Obviously I pulled way back emotionally.

 

That's when he started acting weird asking questions about where I was going and if I'd been with anyone else, started asking me to stay longer when I needed to go, tried to get me to stop using condoms and started trying to get me to stay the night. I panicked, so hard lol..TBH I wanted all of those things, mostly I wanted him to care if I'd been with anyone else. But it didnt feel real to me it felt more like he was rushing things so I wouldnt ditch him. I reminded him of our FWB relationship. We saw each other twice afterwards and he was nice, but distant. He wouldn't kiss me either time even during sex. Now we are basically not speaking. We're still Facebook friends, and I'm sure he's seeing his ex again even though I'm fairly positive he fb stalks me lol because he likes statuses of mine that were posted weeks ago.

 

It's been nearly two weeks since we actually spoke and longer than that since I've seen him. We used to talk almost every single day. I didn't mean to be so harsh with him, or to pretend like I didn't have real feelings for him but I'm not trying to get played. It's killing me. I miss him to the point I've cried, but I think he is far too in love with his ex to really be with me in a faithful relationship. That's why I pulled away. I want to text him so badly, but I don't think I should. I dream about him almost every single night..how can I get over him? I've tried everything to get him off my mind; hobbies, exercise, friends etc.

 

Did I do the right thing by cutting off the romantic part of the relationship after he lied? Should I try again with him and if so...what the hell do I say to him at first?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have never seen any FWB relationship that ends well. It's way too complicated for humans to do this. The emotional detachment requires so much thinking and preparing that it's not worth it. FWB never works. Someone always gets hurt. Don't know what else to say except please just stay away from each other so no one gets his/her heart broken.

Link to post
Share on other sites
imtooconfused
I have never seen any FWB relationship that ends well. It's way too complicated for humans to do this. The emotional detachment requires so much thinking and preparing that it's not worth it. FWB never works. Someone always gets hurt. Don't know what else to say except please just stay away from each other so no one gets his/her heart broken.

 

c1eang1rl, when you started caring about what he did with his EX, it ceased being a FWB relationship and started being more of a GF/BF relationship. If you were intellectually honest, a "friend" wouldn't be jealous about an EX and might even be happy for her "friend" that they were getting together again. Your FWB may have witnessed your jealousy in the same way, feels you are crossing the line and has felt the need to back off.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...