darkmoon Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 (edited) I gave her £20 just now, I pay for treats, okay, but I have a feeling that she will want me to lend her money to pay a bill, she spent the last two bits of money, coming to £18, that I gave her on eating out, okay i have a little savings which i need to keep in case of problems, i have no family to help me, and i think i must tell her that i need my money for my own bills, not a million miles from the truth, she is in debt never planning her gambling addiction messed up her finances, I think it is her husband i never lend more than i can afford to give, less stress - am i right? I need my money for my own bills, srs Edited July 17, 2013 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
GG3 Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Say noooooo. Why are you considering giving in? Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Never lend money. If it's a desperate situation, give freely what you can. If you lend money, and then the borrower cannot repay you, you will resent your friend, and your friend in turn will resent you for being in debt to you, as unfair as that is. Don't ruin relationships with money. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 i never lend more than i can afford to give, less stress - am i right? Right, but I think you need to also assume that you'll never see the money again. Think of it more like a gift instead of a loan. If you're not okay with never being paid back, don't lend her the money. This isn't someone I would ever loan money to, though. She's not good with finances, and I'm not going to sacrifice my own hard-earned money or enable her in her unwise spending. If you decide not to lend her the money, you don't have to give her any real explanation. Just "I can't afford it." That's the truth, and that's even more of an explanation that is required. You could just simply say, "No." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 I gave her £20 just now, I pay for treats, okay, but I have a feeling that she will want me to lend her money to pay a bill, she spent the last two bits of money, coming to £18, that I gave her on eating out, okay i have a little savings which i need to keep in case of problems, i have no family to help me, and i think i must tell her that i need my money for my own bills, not a million miles from the truth, she is in debt never planning her gambling addiction messed up her finances, I think it is her husband i never lend more than i can afford to give, less stress - am i right? I need my money for my own bills, srs Do you feel obligated to support her horrid spending habits? IMO, you have nothing to "explain". Link to post Share on other sites
creighton0123 Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Don't lend money to friends. Just... don't. Unless, well, it's bail money. Then do. Link to post Share on other sites
Nick D1980 Posted July 20, 2013 Share Posted July 20, 2013 I'm a living example. Lent a friend over 600 and we wrote a contract. But he never paid me back. The first time he did but second time...No. I used to threaten him by taking him on the People's Court! But yeah I don't see him anymore except for one time and he said he thought about the debt he owes me. Link to post Share on other sites
New User Posted July 20, 2013 Share Posted July 20, 2013 Doesn't really sound like much of a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
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