The old debate - should multiples be split at school?

[Harveyy]

Hey,

So theres an awful lot on the internet about this - and people tend to have a very strong view one way or the other, but its hard to make the decision when it comes to your own kids.

 

A bit about us:

Me and my wife have triplet boys who will be starting school in September - its a relatively small school that has just 2 separate classes for there age group so we've been asked if we want to split the boys or keep them together.

I know being on there own buildsindependent of each other which is important, but it does make homework, school trips etc. more complicated and 2 of them would have to be in the same class anyway so should we just keep it as all three together??

 

A bit about my boys:

Ricky is very robust, lively outgoing lad, I know he'd cope on his own without a second thought, which kind of begs the question what's the point in putting him in a different class.

Shane is more quiet, but he's not shy, he just doesn't seem to be one for unnecessary words. Again if it came to it he'd be fine split up from the others he's a very laid back little man and nothing phases him.

Casper of all the boys probably relies on his brothers the most, socially, so on one hand should we break that early on and make him more independent from his brothers but then on the other hand he was born a triplet so if he's going to struggle the most, maybe some supports good for him.

 

The other thing I get that getting mixed up/called the wrong name all the time would be no fun but I think I boys will be fine on that front, Rick's fraternal (all blonde and blue eyes) and although Shay & Cass are supposedly identical they actually look pretty different, very much like brothers (the same dark hair & green eyes), but still pretty different.

 

What do you think guys?

We could do with some opinions!

 

Thanks!!

Edited July 18, 2013 by Harveyy

[turnera]

I would keep them together. Let them differentiate later, when they are older. And separating Shane now would only intensify his loner character and perhaps create a divide between him and the other two.

[janedoe67]

This is just my thought as a teacher. Especially since they are young and because there are 3 boys and two classrooms, keeping them together makes the most sense. I have taught many sets of twins before, and even with the identical ones, when a teacher sees them every day they learn to make subtle distinctions - it just takes a bit longer than learning the other kids' names lol. Starting school is a big milestone in a child's life, and multiples generally already have a dynamic of helping each other, so it makes the transition smoother for them not to disrupt that.

 

I am very glad to hear the school wants your input. Some administrators I have known almost seem to have some godlike complex about not giving parents input on things like that...and it is the PARENTS who really know their kids.

[Harveyy]

Personally I'd keep them together. I know some people want their multiples to gain their own identity and such, but I don't see how they wouldn't anyhow being in the same class. Eventually they will no matter what right? It's easier for you as a parent for the reasons you would explain, and I totally get that. I had 3 children in the same school, different grades, different classes and at one point three in different schools (what a nightmare..lol). At least together they would be working on the same things at the same time, they could help eachother with assignments, homework..etc. You would basically have your own little study group. Attending class trips and being there for all three at the same time (ya it's a hassle having to divide up class trips among different classrooms) parent teacher interviews, you only have to hit one class, instead of waiting for one, then waiting for another. If one is sick, you already know the homework they would have gotten from the other two.

 

I don't see why it's so wrong to not let them lean on each other. I think it's a special bond being brought up together, as long as you don't force them to be the same and allow them their own individuality then what is the problem? One will join a sports team the others won't like, one will join the drama club..etc or they may choose to all be together. Let them feel it out. I know they are young but really how is it that they would never gain their own self knowledge by being together?

 

Yeah that makes a lot of sense - it is certainly easier for us if they stay together!

And there is part of me that's like 'you know they were born triplets - for life, I think that that bond is important I don't really want to send the message that theres anything wrong with that or that they shouldn't be close!

Thanks!

[T3h L337 d00d]

I would keep them together and not send them to public school if that's where you are sending them.

[Harveyy]

I would keep them together. Let them differentiate later, when they are older. And separating Shane now would only intensify his loner character and perhaps create a divide between him and the other two.

 

Yeah, Shanes a funny one hes not so much of a loner as I don't know, he's really bright but he doesn't waste words - why use 3 words when you can say it in one! - he reminds me a little of an 18 yr old lad whos too cool for talking

But yeah I didn't think how having one in a separate class could distance him from his brothers - I wouldn't want that at all!

Thanks

[Harveyy]

I would keep them together and not send them to public school if that's where you are sending them.

 

Whats wrong with public school?

[Harveyy]

This is just my thought as a teacher. Especially since they are young and because there are 3 boys and two classrooms, keeping them together makes the most sense. I have taught many sets of twins before, and even with the identical ones, when a teacher sees them every day they learn to make subtle distinctions - it just takes a bit longer than learning the other kids' names lol. Starting school is a big milestone in a child's life, and multiples generally already have a dynamic of helping each other, so it makes the transition smoother for them not to disrupt that.

 

I am very glad to hear the school wants your input. Some administrators I have known almost seem to have some godlike complex about not giving parents input on things like that...and it is the PARENTS who really know their kids.

 

Yeah its nice for us if there together cause we know they look out for each other - and like I say there easy to tell apart!

 

yeah its a really nice little school - they've never had triplets before thou say they were like - up to you!

[T3h L337 d00d]

Well everything is wrong with it. Proven to lower intelligence, make people hate learning, destroy creativity, institutionalizes people, political program kids, make them hate their parents and themselves.

 

I think the old debate should be whether to home school or send them to a good private school.

[KathyM]

I'd vote for keeping them together some years, and having them spend some school years in separate classes. I think both can be beneficial. Having your sibling there can promote confidence and actually enable more interaction with other kids. Being separated can help the child develop separate relationships with other kids. I have twins, and the school always had the policy of separating them, so they grew up developing their own friendships that did not include their twin brother, and I think, in a way, it made them less connected with each other. Now they each have their own friend groups and live relatively separate lives with separate interests. I think one of the greatest blessings of being a twin (or multiple) is having a close bond with your sibling and always having that close connection. I don't think they should be separated year after year. It makes for a less connected relationship with each other. I kind of wish the teachers had not done that with my twins.

[Shepp]

Well everything is wrong with it. Proven to lower intelligence, make people hate learning, destroy creativity, institutionalizes people, political program kids, make them hate their parents and themselves.

 

I think the old debate should be whether to home school or send them to a good private school.

 

Say what??

1) I went to state school and I really liked school! theres loads of benefits to state school like giving kids local friends, connections to local sport clubs - sport was (still is) my life and my school was awesome for that - football team, rugby team, swim team I was on them all, your kids get to mix with a wide range of people not just one sector of the population.

2) Home schooling must suck - like socialising, meeting people, learning how to work with people has got to be one of the most important reasons for going school.

3)Private schools cost a lot! Whats better sending your kids to state school and be able to live comfortably and give them good life experiences or scrap to send them to private school and always struggle while they mix with kids from minted families! id rather put the money in a saving account for them.

 

Im in no way against private school (tough I am anti home schooling) but theres nothing wrong with state schools - they were good enough for Alan sugar, Daniel craig, ed milliband, jess Ennis, Gordon Ramsey, Bradley wiggins,

and self made millionaires are more likely to have gone to state school!

 

studying the results of schools with socially selective intakes is a bogus science. Children from advantaged backgrounds are going to do much better wherever they go to school – that is module 1 of a GCSE in The Bleedin' Obvious. If you read to your children from an early age, if the poor things are dragged round museums every other weekend, if you have the time and energy for them and are not leaving them at home alone every evening because you have a second job cleaning floors at Heathrow, then your children will do better academically.

 

 

Anyways to your question id keep them together - there bond is a gift they were born with its a goods thing, society is geared towards singleton babies but that's wrong having a twin or a triplet is a good thing, there lucky, don't break that to fit society.

 

 

 

And for the record I don't hae my parents or myself!

Edited July 24, 2013 by Shepp

[Col1]

Hey,

So theres an awful lot on the internet about this - and people tend to have a very strong view one way or the other, but its hard to make the decision when it comes to your own kids.

 

A bit about us:

Me and my wife have triplet boys who will be starting school in September - its a relatively small school that has just 2 separate classes for there age group so we've been asked if we want to split the boys or keep them together.

I know being on there own buildsindependent of each other which is important, but it does make homework, school trips etc. more complicated and 2 of them would have to be in the same class anyway so should we just keep it as all three together??

 

A bit about my boys:

Ricky is very robust, lively outgoing lad, I know he'd cope on his own without a second thought, which kind of begs the question what's the point in putting him in a different class.

Shane is more quiet, but he's not shy, he just doesn't seem to be one for unnecessary words. Again if it came to it he'd be fine split up from the others he's a very laid back little man and nothing phases him.

Casper of all the boys probably relies on his brothers the most, socially, so on one hand should we break that early on and make him more independent from his brothers but then on the other hand he was born a triplet so if he's going to struggle the most, maybe some supports good for him.

 

The other thing I get that getting mixed up/called the wrong name all the time would be no fun but I think I boys will be fine on that front, Rick's fraternal (all blonde and blue eyes) and although Shay & Cass are supposedly identical they actually look pretty different, very much like brothers (the same dark hair & green eyes), but still pretty different.

 

What do you think guys?

We could do with some opinions!

 

Thanks!!

 

Talk with the two teachers individually. Find out their style of teaching and get a sense of their personalities. One teacher will be the better choice for each of your three children. That may or may not be in the same classroom. Don't make one (or two) of your children go through a mediocre school year just because it's convenient for you to have them all in the same classroom. Find the best fit for the children's academic and social needs.

[UpwardForward]

OK, this is what happened w my twins: When I started them in pre-school at about 3 yrs old, they started together in the same class. Then they were later separated and put with two different teachers. They didn't seem to mind.

 

Regretfully, I don't remember if they began kindergarten w the same teacher or not. But from first grade on, they were separated. Imo it only worked out well because in those first years they were with nurturing nice teachers.

 

I have asked my sons, and they don't remember those years to give an opinion.

 

I agree with all those here who would say to keep your children together especially at first.

 

Don't listen to educators. And you may want to even ask your children before they enter the next grade - if it's alright with them to be in separate classes.