Is revenge justified?

[mewyamah]

I flew 1500 km to meet with my boyfriend because he's been away for 3 months and I've read his facebook messages in which him and his ex were being lovey-dovey last sunday and he told her i'm going to arrive in there on tuesday and she started saying things like " oh that poor stupid girl teehee" and his response was whatever i'm sure I'm going to end up with you anyway. She lives in the same town as myself and she's currently in a 8 month relationship. My dilema is that I would leave but I have no money to stay at a hotel or buy a plane ticket to go back home I feel like an idiot because I've spent all my savings to meet him and now i'm stuck here with nowhere to go. So I'm thinking of printscreening the convos and send them to her boyfriend when I'm leaving back home. Would this type of revenge be justified or am I just being immature? What would you do?

[jphcbpa]

most important is to take care of you right now. loving yourself and getting home safely. you could print the convos and decide later on. right now that is not the top priority.

[Zahara]

I would suggest you find out if you can change your ticket and go back home or call someone back home to see if they can loan you the change fee charge. You don''t have to buy a new ticket to fly back home.

 

Printing conversations is not what you should be prioritizing right now.

[SMALLTOWNBLUES]

I say do it for multiple reasons, some from personal experience, some from what you are going through.

 

1) I don't agree with physical violence and it doesnt sound like youre that type of person, so good. You aren't ruining their jobs or personal items. That is when you become the person in the wrong.

 

2) I caught my ex and her guy plotting like your situation and I busted them before they could keep the ruse up. It not only made them have to assess their situation and realize they had been totally selfish and heartless, it made them have to scramble to fix their lies and explain themselves to the other people they were hurting (like your ex's ex gf's current bf). He deserves to know she is doing that stuff too. If your ex gets back with his, rest assured they will be miserable again one day most likely.

 

3) If you don't do it, that's fine but you need to call them both out, even if it's on email.

 

Or you know, just don't do anything and move on. It has taken me weeks to figure that out, but you know, it doesnt change anything. What's done is done. Just don't get overly petty. Karma turns against you then. This is justified to me though.

[Chi townD]

Wait, I'm confused. you flew out there to see him, but you're stuck with no money. And no way to get home? Didn't you buy a round trip ticket?

 

Why would you go on a trip with no money saved up? And how come you don't have an emergency fund you could dip into?

 

Look, everyone here who knows me, knows that I'm probably the biggest advocate for traveling, but in your case, that wasn't very smart.

 

 

You're main priority is finding a way to get you home safely. Call your folks or a brother or sister and see if they can't wire you some cash to either get a flight back or even a train ticket. Find your way to the train station yourself and don't even tell the douche rocket your leaving. Just go. Worry about the other crap when you're safely back at home.

[mewyamah]

I have some money but it wouldn't of been enough for 2 weeks at a hotel and yes I have a ticket to get back home but I didn't know I could change the date thank you

[Chi townD]

Whew, okay. making a little sense now. Yeah, change the ticket and pay the change fee's. Shouldn't be anymore than 25-50 dollars and get the hell out of there. Go home. Don't even tell him you're leaving. Leave when he's in the shower or something. Let him sweat it out for a while. Don't answer his texts and let his calls go to voicemail.

 

When you get home, take the texts and print outs that you have and show them to the OW boyfriend. Don't make t-shirts or whatever you thinking and just show the evidence you have to her boyfriend. He has a right to know what's going on in his own relationship.

 

I'm glad to know that you're not stranded somewhere.

[dasein]

Agree, get home, and forget about these chumps. Leave them to each other. Very sorry you experienced this. Sending the comments might make you feel good for a moment, or it could raise more stink that needlessly involves you with these folks further, makes things more annoying for you, so would skip it and just move on. Several times in the distant past I've tried to have a "last word" or stir something up on the way out to cause bad people some bad feelings or results similar to what they caused me. It works in a limited way, but every single time, looking back on things more than a year later, I've wished I had just moved on, because even the act of having the last word or getting some revenge drags you back into the crab barrel if in thought only. Your mind's freedom is precious, don't constrain it with dwelling on revenge or puzzling out past wrongs done you. This may be one of those things you just have to experience and learn on your own though. Good luck whatever you decide.

[BradJacobs]

Would this type of revenge be justified or am I just being immature? What would you do?

I think it's poor form he made you fly out 1500km on your dime to meet him only to have something else on the back burner.

 

Send them. I would.

 

That's just really low of a guy to do and he deserves to be put in his place.

[crederer]

I'd want to know if my girl was talking to someone else like that. Yah, send him the screen shots.

 

Tell you bf that you want him to pay for your flight home.

[Betterthanthis13]

Do it. But don't think of it as "revenge"

 

Revenge is bad for you. This is not revenge. This is you helping out that guy who is being lied to, plain and simple.