help me please Posted December 25, 2000 Share Posted December 25, 2000 Ok lets say you are a guy who loved this girl very much and you cared a lot about her. You've cried because you loved her so much and you would do absolutely anything for her. Then all of a sudden within a week you decide you can't handle the relationship anymore and you tell her. You know you've upsetted her very much since you kept telling her that you would always love her and you would be with her forever and everything like that. You know shes depressed and you feel bad for about a week. You tell her that she deserves more and that you don't want to be in this relationship a 100%...well you still consider her your best friend. So then first of all why are you acting like a complete jerk to her the next few weeks? and why are you giving her such an attitude problem thinking you are so cool. Since you know you've hurt her very much and I think you still get jealosu when she talks to guys...why would you then have another girl come into work and ask your ex girlfriend if you were around...?? And then your friend tells your ex that he (being you) knew that she would get pissed. Why the hell would a guy play these games?? you know that shes hurt, shes been crying, so why is he trying to piss her off even more?? I need some explanations! uh Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 25, 2000 Share Posted December 25, 2000 It is impossible for anyone to accurately answer these questions because most guys would never do what this guy did. Younger guys would be more inclined to that sort of very immature behavior but guys over 20 or so who are fairly well educated, who come from decent families, who were raised to have some manners, etc., would not behave this way. So with that out of the way, I would say a guy would do these things for the following reasons: 1. Insanity (mental illness) 2. On drugs - under influence of cocaine, crack, heroin, etc. 3. Sociopath or Psychopath - actions are based on craziness 4. Gross Immaturity - still mentally an infant 5. Gross stupidity - self-explanatory 6. Anger Issues - Is angry with the world 7. Confusion - Has no idea what he wants 8. Social Ineptness - Doesn't know proper way to act 9. Lack of Moral Training - Stupidity of parents 10. Just a basic rude, scumbag, lowlife, slimey guy 11. Sadistic sense of humor - related to mental illness Or could be a combination of one or all of the above. My question for you is: Why would a girl even want to be anywhere near a guy like this? Why would a girl continue to play games with such a fruitcake? Why would a girl waste her time with someone so immature, crazy, rude, confused, angry, etc.????? Link to post Share on other sites
Stargazer Posted December 26, 2000 Share Posted December 26, 2000 Not saying a word here (coz I'm a girlie) other than ya poor thing, geez what a feckin jerk! (still, again). Link to post Share on other sites
help me please Posted December 26, 2000 Share Posted December 26, 2000 see I know hes 16! thats why, hes not 20! and I realize...I think its a lack or maturity and I also think hes confused with what he wants...and hes probably angry at the world too...but the rest defintley dont apply to him at all...hes defintley not a lowlife scumbag...I just dont know, his whole personality and attitude changed in one week and i dunno? its just weird...and the only reason that I have to deal with him is bc I work with him and I still care a lot about him. His feelings might of went to the waste side for me and I have no clue why or if he still has feelings for me...but eventhough hes hurt me I still care a lot about him...Dont ask me why! i prefer if I didnt...I'm just wondering why a guy would do that Link to post Share on other sites
Amber Posted December 26, 2000 Share Posted December 26, 2000 you know I just dont understand guys at all and how their feelings change in a week just like that! and most of them in about a month realize their stupidity and try to come back! oh well good luck with your situation. I dont know what to tell you, but I hope you get through it:) Love, amber Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 26, 2000 Share Posted December 26, 2000 16 year old guys often act like that and they really don't have to have a reason. Many of them are still children emotionally. Girls, on the other hand, tend to mature lots faster and understand the world better. While girls may be more mature and understand a lot of things much better than guys, they will never understand why these young guys are the way they are...because the guys themselves don't even have a clue. Link to post Share on other sites
confused one Posted December 26, 2000 Share Posted December 26, 2000 Yeah I keep hearing that guys around 16 and 17 years old don't act too mature while girls seem to mature faster than the guys. Guys get confused and they go through mix emotions just like my ex is doing to me...the thing is I dont understand is why a lot of guys after they do this to girls end up going and trying to go back with them. I don't know if my ex will do it with me but it seems to be happening a lot... 16 year old guys often act like that and they really don't have to have a reason. Many of them are still children emotionally. Girls, on the other hand, tend to mature lots faster and understand the world better. While girls may be more mature and understand a lot of things much better than guys, they will never understand why these young guys are the way they are...because the guys themselves don't even have a clue. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 26, 2000 Share Posted December 26, 2000 YOU WONDER: "...the thing is I dont understand is why a lot of guys after they do this to girls end up going and trying to go back with them." Good question. First, gals do this with the same frequency and guys. It's not a gender thing. It is just human nature to take people and relationships for granted. Sometimes people get real excited in the beginning days of a relationship and then that excitement quickly diminishes, especially with young people. For young people, it is sometimes just a challenge and conquest. Once the score is written down in the book of life, they move on. Eventually, they become relationship junkies, going from one to the other and staying only while there is high excitement. Remembering the excitement they had with any given person, when they find themselves alone a lot of people will call that person or try other ways to get back together. But they are only looking for the highs they once had. It usually won't last very long. So I guess many young people sort of train themselves to have short dating situations (can't really call them relationships) with lots of people. If you don't stay with someone long, you can't establish a close emotional bond so it's not difficult leaving. If you went into the situation with the idea that it wouldn't last long anyway, there is little chance for hurt. If dating a person was nice or particular aspects of it were pleasureable, a person will think about this and, when the opportunity presents itself, there is the temptation to get that same pleasure back for a while. This happens especially when there are no opportunities around. It is also much easier because you know the person. Guys may have NO IDEA they hurt a girl because they themselves weren't hurt. Young guys can be pretty dumb. Older guys do the same thing, but for different reasons. When a guy gets older and really ready to settle down, he starts thinking about all the wonderful, sweet, nice gals he dumped all over and crushed into the pavement. At the time, he wasn't ready and maybe the girls were just too nice. But when he's ready to settle down, he longs to have one of those wonderful girls her dumped on back. Usually by that time, they have changed their phone numbers, moved, gotten married or are seeing someone, etc. If he does find them, they usually tell him to kiss off. Gals who try to get back together with old boyfriends are usually more tactful and skillful at it. They do their homework ahead of time and won't approach a guy the second time unless they have pretty good evidence he's no longer a player, he's not seeing anyone and that he's more settled. I would say, in general, that trying to reconstitute old relationships is rarely productive and people usually are disillusioned because the other person is not want they really want. They usually end up remembering exactly why they broke up. Link to post Share on other sites
Bobby Dygytul Posted December 26, 2000 Share Posted December 26, 2000 You girlies do the same damn thing to us guys, so don't blame it all on us!! You girls go out and look for the type of guys that treat cha like sh*t,(rather than the nice guyz) then get all emotional, mad, angry, and pissed off coz you find out that the guy is juss using you or cheating on you!!! I dated a girl for 2 years. She wouldn't have sex with me coz she said she wasn't ready yet.(she was a virgin) That was ok with me. One day she dumped me and a couple months later, she goes out and screws some guy she just met a few weeks before. She falls in love with this guy. the week after giving up her virginity to him, he dumps her and tells her that he's doesn't like her. I just had to share that coz i think its pretty funny. Happy Holidays everyone!!!!!!! Bobby Dygytul you know I just dont understand guys at all and how their feelings change in a week just like that! and most of them in about a month realize their stupidity and try to come back! oh well good luck with your situation. I dont know what to tell you, but I hope you get through it:) Love, amber Link to post Share on other sites
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