My gf now cheated on me, take her back?

[TheDingo]

Hi, I'm back again. I just wanted to updated my situation.

 

In case you don't remember it's here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/380207-gf-found-out-i-cheated-my-ex-gf-now-she-thinks-i-m-gonna-do-her

 

Basically I cheated on ex gf A long time ago and my current gf B found out about it through her. I never wanted B to know this and almost felt guilty but I changed my ways.

 

Now the issue is it wasn't me doing the cheating this time but her (B that is). I didn't find out, she told me the following day and she claims to not know why she did it but is sorry. I think this is my punishment. She started changing ever since finding out I cheated on A who hates me till this day.

 

But is it also the fact that I'm the one whom she lost it to and she got curious and cheated?

[TheDingo]

What makes it worse is the guy she had sex with is a random ONS. She did it with a stranger she meet only days ago and wasn't drunk at all.

 

I could take her back but she can't even tell me why it happened. She's been crying and say she doesn't know the reason. But should I take her back? I know what it's like cheating and begging to get taken back. I have done that with A who in the end dumped me because she never recovered from it.

Edited July 19, 2013 by TheDingo

[Jbum5]

If she actually cheated on you, this shouldn't even be a question. Drop her and move on because you'll never again be able to trust her just as she has trouble trusting you. It's over already, you just have to formalize it.

[TheDingo]

If she actually cheated on you, this shouldn't even be a question. Drop her and move on because you'll never again be able to trust her just as she has trouble trusting you. It's over already, you just have to formalize it.

I know but part of me is saying I might have deserved it, though I didn't cheat on her. I've been trying to be a better man since then as I've learnt what cheating can do to someone. I even spent some restless nights over it back then.

 

Though I've kept my promise of never cheating on another woman again, now it's like everything got thrown in my face again. Will this eventually stop? Why is bad luck happening to me when I clearly regret what I did in the past?

 

Problem is it's hard to let go when you love them. I don't hate her at all but I'm crushed. I feel just as hurt as A felt at the time.

[Jbum5]

I know but part of me is saying I might have deserved it, though I didn't cheat on her. I've been trying to be a better man since then as I've learnt what cheating can do to someone. I even spent some restless nights over it back then.

 

Though I've kept my promise of never cheating on another woman again, now it's like everything got thrown in my face again. Will this eventually stop? Why is bad luck happening to me when I clearly regret what I did in the past?

 

Problem is it's hard to let go when you love them. I don't hate her at all but I'm crushed. I feel just as hurt as A felt at the time.

 

You seem somewhat attached to her and probably don't feel like breaking up hence why you are rationalizing that what she did is somehow justifiable when it's not under any circumstance. Let go now and save both of you from a world of pain that won't end well anyway.

[TheDingo]

You seem somewhat attached to her and probably don't feel like breaking up hence why you are rationalizing that what she did is somehow justifiable when it's not under any circumstance. Let go now and save both of you from a world of pain that won't end well anyway.

Probably. I just realized I've fallen for her slightly more than for A.

 

I'm going to break up sometime in the weekend. It's not going to be easy. I'm going to be back to single again; the same way I was left off when A dumped me.

 

Now what if it really was a mistake? She was in tears when telling me that and I can tell that confession wasn't easy for her. She really seems sorry.

[BradJacobs]

Mate, you need to forgive yourself of your past crimes. This holding on to guilt as though you deserve punishment is a fool's errand. It's only going to lead you down a road of accepting less than what you deserve and need to be happy.

 

Stay or move on are choices you need to accept which are mutually exclusive of hanging on to your own guilt.

 

Best of luck!

[Simon Phoenix]

Goodbye. Gone. See ya. The fact that you messed up a previous relationship is no justification for what she did. You need to get rid of this woman immediately.

[TheDingo]

Goodbye. Gone. See ya. The fact that you messed up a previous relationship is no justification for what she did. You need to get rid of this woman immediately.

I know and it's so sad in seeing what she had become. She was a virgin when I met her. I remembered taking things slow and being gentle with her (the first time for me I ever took a woman's virginity; she bled a bit).

 

I really though she didn't have it in her to cheat.

[TobyBoy]

No sir!! It was no mistake!!! It was choice she made! Vegence... If you will...to get back at you for your future discretions!!!!! Isn't that f**ked up?

Next!

[jphcbpa]

Really...?

 

If you have to ask, the answer is NO!!!

[dasein]

What makes it worse is the guy she had sex with is a random ONS. She did it with a stranger she meet only days ago and wasn't drunk at all.

 

You have to be done in this situation, your past cheating has nothing to do with your current relationship. You simply have to move on. She meets a stranger and hops right into bed? Take out the trash now.

[aliveagain]

TheDingo;5059392]What makes it worse is the guy she had sex with is a random ONS. She did it with a stranger she meet only days ago and wasn't drunk at all.[/b]

 

 

 

 

Friend, she banged a random guy she just met and she was sober, that just screams messed up chick. The only thing good out of all of this is she told you about it, you didn't find out on your own. Get tested, no sex with her until you do. Your past relation has nothing to do with her reason to cheat, she made a sober conscious decision to do it because she wanted to. That would scare the s**t out of me, she needs to get professional help. Unless you want to invest the years it will take to get over this it might be better to start fresh. She would be high risk, you deserve someone you can feel safe with.

[therhythm]

Hi, I'm back again. I just wanted to updated my situation.

 

In case you don't remember it's here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/380207-gf-found-out-i-cheated-my-ex-gf-now-she-thinks-i-m-gonna-do-her

 

Basically I cheated on ex gf A long time ago and my current gf B found out about it through her. I never wanted B to know this and almost felt guilty but I changed my ways.

 

Now the issue is it wasn't me doing the cheating this time but her (B that is). I didn't find out, she told me the following day and she claims to not know why she did it but is sorry. I think this is my punishment. She started changing ever since finding out I cheated on A who hates me till this day.

 

But is it also the fact that I'm the one whom she lost it to and she got curious and cheated?

 

People find the dumbest reasons to cheat... my ex also cheated on me because of my past.... is just unacceptable... you need to move on... She doesn't love you if she did she would have not done that.

[TheDingo]

You have to be done in this situation, your past cheating has nothing to do with your current relationship. You simply have to move on. She meets a stranger and hops right into bed? Take out the trash now.

I know. As stupid as it sounds, I still don't hate her but will be breaking up with her today.

[eddyctv]

I dont get this, your CURRENT GF cheated on you, because you cheated on your ex?

 

Look I am probably in the minority here with this thought, but just because someone cheated in a previous relationship DOES NOT mean they are ALWAYS going to cheat. It depends on the circumstances on each individual relationship.

 

So, big deal, you cheated on your ex. She is currently your EX...you arent marrying her! What you did in your previous relationship should have NO BEARING on your current one. Your current girlfriend shouldnt judge you on what happened in the past.

 

No one deserves to get cheated on, but it happens. And now that you know, you should pull the plug and move on. You arent going to marry your current girlfriend either, so bail and continue the search for Mrs Right.

[TheDingo]

People find the dumbest reasons to cheat... my ex also cheated on me because of my past.... is just unacceptable... you need to move on... She doesn't love you if she did she would have not done that.

You're right she wouldn't have done it if she love me.

 

We talked briefly on the phone yesterday and it's worse than I imagine. I really wanted to throw up after hearing everything she told me.

 

She started wondering about being with another guy a while back, even before she found out about my past cheating. She has been down for a long time about being inexperienced while I knew a lot more than her. Her finding out about my cheating was only what would eventually make her thoughts transform into actions.

 

Then she went on saying it was not just straight forward sex but everything else before that too.:sick:

 

I asked her why a couple more times and at this point I was more disgusted than upset. I had the same response of ''I don't know, I don't what's happening to me. I was never like this before. I'm sorry...... then she starts crying again.

 

OMG why didn't I see these signs in time. I'm throwing the towel at this point. I would have understand if it were perhaps a drunken ONS or some deep reason but she did it for no good reason, for just the sake of exploring.

 

I'm pissed off, disgusted to the point of nearly vomiting and depressed at what she has become.

[TheDingo]

I dont get this, your CURRENT GF cheated on you, because you cheated on your ex?

I'm finding out she already had the potential in her to cheat but that just made her act her desires.

[aliveagain]

She probably already knows. On your other thread you mention that she knows your screen name and she reads your threads, my guess is she has already been here to see what your real feelings are, she knows. Just as well, this a learning experience for her too, hopefully she gets herself help, she needs to know why she allowed herself to become what she accused you of. Was she in some broken way trying to put herself on equal ground with the old you? Twisted.

[stillafool]

Definitely kick her to the curb.

[TheDingo]

She probably already knows. On your other thread you mention that she knows your screen name and she reads your threads, my guess is she has already been here to see what your real feelings are, she knows.

Yes, she has seen my threads. I'm sure she must be reading this one too. This makes it even more depressing as if she was totally mocking everything about me and probably is still doing it.

 

Just as well, this a learning experience for her too, hopefully she gets herself help, she needs to know why she allowed herself to become what she accused you of.

I hope so before she ends up sleeping around with more men and getting an STD; but who know if she has caught one at this point though she told me the guy used a condom or becoming overly promiscuous.

 

Was she in some broken way trying to put herself on equal ground with the old you? Twisted.

If so I didn't see that one coming. I thought she would have learnt what cheating does to you by seeing how awful I was feeling about it and all my effort in being the man I wasn't with my ex gf.

[crederer]

I had a girlfriend that was convinced I was cheating even though I wasn't, and then she cheated and her response was something along the lines of "you're cheating, and if you're not it's just because you've failed at trying to cheat".

 

 

Some girls are just whacked man, get rid of her.

[Chi townD]

Dude, you cheated on someone in the past. You saw the devastation that it caused and you learned from the experience to never play with someone's heart like that again. And it cost you a terrible price in the end. You lost your girlfriend.

 

SO! You didn't deserve this. You already paid the price for your past.

 

 

Personally, I think that she wants to sow her oats and try different people. I think that she's young and immature and really doesn't know what she wants out of life.

 

It's time for you to heal and move on, dude. Time for you just to be by yourself for a while. You gave yourself a self inflicted blow in your past and now she served you up one as well. I think it would be best for you to take a little time for yourself.

 

She already knew that she wanted someone else and she used your past to give herself permission to go ahead and cheat. Probably told herself, "I wouldn't be doing this if he was honest with girls in the first place. So, I might as well have fun before he does it to me!"

 

But, the guilt monster got her after it was over. And this is probably the first time she has to deal with this level of betrayal. Hard lessons learned I guess.

 

Time to heal and move on. Take a trip somewhere and clear your mind.

[Darren Steez]

What makes it worse is the guy she had sex with is a random ONS. She did it with a stranger she meet only days ago and wasn't drunk at all.

 

I could take her back but she can't even tell me why it happened. She's been crying and say she doesn't know the reason. But should I take her back? I know what it's like cheating and begging to get taken back. I have done that with A who in the end dumped me because she never recovered from it.

Oh she knows why...she liked him and let him do it to her. All this faux, I don't know why I did it nonsense is exactly that, nonsense. She met him, liked him, he/she put the moves on him/her, they reciprocated, and they did it. Why cry now?

[CrazyConcept]

So if someone cheated once on someone in the long past, they can never recover and deserve retaliatory cheating for the rest of their lives by every new partner they meet?

 

That's so idiotic.