The "Shallow" Debate

[MrCastle]

Good points made on both sides so far. And we've gotten through it without personal attacks for the most part. Good job everyone. Let's keep the discussion going.

[KungFuJoe]

Actually I would be more than happy with that deal... I would not want to be with someone for whom I am not physically attractive either...

 

For me physical chemistry is the basic stone where I build the relationship from.... is it the only thing? Definitely not but yes the first thing I will judge a woman when choosing a partner.

 

Exactly this.

 

My wife, according to this board, would be considered VERY shallow. She has a long list of physical and mental "requirements" that she wouldn't budge on. And, by some miracle, I happen to meet all of them. And the vice versa is true as well.

 

That is a HUGE reason why we're still happy and very attracted to each other even after 14 years. We didn't "settle" when we chose each other.

[ThaWholigan]

I think to really capture what "shallow" means to you, try to think about what someone who is "deep" is like. Or who you think is deep. Consider that there are varying degrees of "shallowness" all within the realm of subjectivity and that not everybody is naturally going to be a very deep person - especially if they are socially or culturally influenced. I don't think this is wrong or particularly right either - just is.

 

And people often use the term shallow to castigate someone whose primary mode of attraction is based in the physical - I agree that an uber-focus on physical attraction without consideration or thought for anything else to detriment could be called shallow indeed. However, I would extend that to any particular trait - a level of mental or intellectual shallowness, or status, or even someones emotional pattern can be overly focused on in a superficial realm.

 

However, whether this is bad or not is up for debate - and I don't think it is. However, I think that it's only bad if it is of detriment to the person themselves - and possibly if to someone else.

[therhythm]

I think to really capture what "shallow" means to you, try to think about what someone who is "deep" is like. Or who you think is deep. Consider that there are varying degrees of "shallowness" all within the realm of subjectivity and that not everybody is naturally going to be a very deep person - especially if they are socially or culturally influenced. I don't think this is wrong or particularly right either - just is.

 

And people often use the term shallow to castigate someone whose primary mode of attraction is based in the physical - I agree that an uber-focus on physical attraction without consideration or thought for anything else to detriment could be called shallow indeed. However, I would extend that to any particular trait - a level of mental or intellectual shallowness, or status, or even someones emotional pattern can be overly focused on in a superficial realm.

 

However, whether this is bad or not is up for debate - and I don't think it is. However, I think that it's only bad if it is of detriment to the person themselves - and possibly if to someone else.

 

I will need a Google translator for this TW... I really don't have a clue if you are saying that being shallow is good or not or if physical attraction based people is shallow or not...

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

Ohh please... you don't find it funny? You have broken my little heart.

 

I can't care less how people judge me.. they will do it anyway

 

That's my point.

[tbf]

I think to really capture what "shallow" means to you, try to think about what someone who is "deep" is like. Or who you think is deep. Consider that there are varying degrees of "shallowness" all within the realm of subjectivity and that not everybody is naturally going to be a very deep person - especially if they are socially or culturally influenced. I don't think this is wrong or particularly right either - just is.

 

And people often use the term shallow to castigate someone whose primary mode of attraction is based in the physical - I agree that an uber-focus on physical attraction without consideration or thought for anything else to detriment could be called shallow indeed. However, I would extend that to any particular trait - a level of mental or intellectual shallowness, or status, or even someones emotional pattern can be overly focused on in a superficial realm.

 

However, whether this is bad or not is up for debate - and I don't think it is. However, I think that it's only bad if it is of detriment to the person themselves - and possibly if to someone else.

To summarize, it's all subjective.

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

Good points made on both sides so far. And we've gotten through it without personal attacks for the most part. Good job everyone. Let's keep the discussion going.

 

You're a scruffy looking nerf-herder.

[MrCastle]

I don't think shallowness is a good trait period. Physical or otherwise.

 

People should be judged as human beings. Not by tits, not by butts, not by their income, their ethnicity, their taste in music, their political leanings.

 

People are complete beings. Judge them as such.

 

You can place a high emphasis on education and only seek men/women who have x amount of academia under their belt, but what good is it if they are also compulsive cheaters.

 

No matter what singular element you place a higher importance on, you simply cannot neglect their other traits, good or bad.

[KungFuJoe]

I don't think shallowness is a good trait period. Physical or otherwise.

 

People should be judged as human beings. Not by tits, not by butts, not by their income, their ethnicity, their taste in music, their political leanings.

 

People are complete beings. Judge them as such.

 

You can place a high emphasis on education and only seek men/women who have x amount of academia under their belt, but what good is it if they are also compulsive cheaters.

 

No matter what singular element you place a higher importance on, you simply cannot neglect their other traits, good or bad.

 

I don't think anyone is like what you just suggested, except for a rare few who probably struggle socially.

 

Most people want the whole "package" but they have higher priorities on certain features.

 

Like, I don't care much about a woman's height, but she has to be very pretty in the face and be in good shape. I don't care about breast size (as long as she's not flat) but she has to have nice legs, no cankles, and nice feet and toes.

 

Personality wise, I don't need a woman to be a genius, but she better be able to keep up with my sense of humor and hold a conversation with me without me having to explain every single thing I say.

[therhythm]

I don't think shallowness is a good trait period. Physical or otherwise.

 

People should be judged as human beings. Not by tits, not by butts, not by their income, their ethnicity, their taste in music, their political leanings.

 

People are complete beings. Judge them as such.

 

You can place a high emphasis on education and only seek men/women who have x amount of academia under their belt, but what good is it if they are also compulsive cheaters.

 

No matter what singular element you place a higher importance on, you simply cannot neglect their other traits, good or bad.

 

One thing is judging someone as a person and another totally different is judging someone to be your partner... you don't get to say what other people need to find important to look for a partner.... it is ridiculous...

[MrCastle]

I don't think anyone is like what you just suggested, except for a rare few who probably struggle socially.

 

Most people want the whole "package" but they have higher priorities on certain features.

 

Like, I don't care much about a woman's height, but she has to be very pretty in the face and be in good shape. I don't care about breast size (as long as she's not flat) but she has to have nice legs, no cankles, and nice feet and toes.

 

Personality wise, I don't need a woman to be a genius, but she better be able to keep up with my sense of humor and hold a conversation with me without me having to explain every single thing I say.

 

Never met a man or woman who stuck around with a terrible person just because they were "hot?"

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

One thing is judging someone as a person and another totally different is judging someone to be your partner... you don't get to say what other people need to find important to look for a partner.... it is ridiculous...

 

Yes, he does get to say. It's a free country.

[therhythm]

Never met a man or woman who stuck around with a terrible person just because they were "hot?"

 

You are bringing it to the extremes...I also haven't find out many people who stuck around with a person really ugly/deformed.

[KungFuJoe]

Never met a man or woman who stuck around with a terrible person just because they were "hot?"

 

That's not shallow.

 

That's weak.

[mesmerized]

I will need a Google translator for this TW... I really don't have a clue if you are saying that being shallow is good or not or if physical attraction based people is shallow or not...

 

haha he is being a bit vague. But I think what he means is that focusing way too much on one trait (doesn't have to be physical) while ignoring other traits is shallow. He is also saying that he's not sure if being shallow is necessarily a bad thing.

 

I personally think that people being shallow has both good and bad consequences for a society as a whole, probably much more bad than good though. If no one cared about looks or ambition or whatever, there would be little incentive for us to look better/be healthy/achieve something in our lives. But also the increasing vanity is causing most people specially women to always feel inadequate and not good enough, no matter how good they look. Same with people who don't have jobs that screams social status or who don't fit in the "successful" category as the society decides it to be, which btw is not always fair or right.

[therhythm]

Yes, he does get to say. It's a free country.

 

Exactly my point....it is a free country so I get to choose who I date based on the criteria I want however butt hurt other people may get about it

[MrCastle]

Exactly my point....it is a free country so I get to choose who I date based on the criteria I want however butt hurt other people may get about it

 

And I get to say what I want about it.

 

What a country

[therhythm]

And I get to say what I want about it.

 

What a country

Yes... lovely! I also get to say what I think about you saying something about it... we can keep like this for ever :lmao:

[MrCastle]

The internet is a funny place. Not only does the mere existence of shallowness come into question but talks of possible benefits for such a trait are also discussed. This is why I love LS.

[KungFuJoe]

MrCastle,

 

I have to admit that some of your threads confuse me.

 

I mean, this rant about being shallow but aren't you one that doesn't even want females as friends and only wants casual relationships and nothing serious?

 

I mean...if we're on the subject of shallow and all......just sayin'

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

Exactly my point....it is a free country so I get to choose who I date based on the criteria I want however butt hurt other people may get about it

 

You can't be butt hurt unless you take it in the derriere, or you fall on it.

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

MrCastle,

 

I have to admit that some of your threads confuse me.

 

I mean, this rant about being shallow but aren't you one that doesn't even want females as friends and only wants casual relationships and nothing serious?

 

I mean...if we're on the subject of shallow and all......just sayin'

 

That's different. Not everyone wants a relationship. As long as he's upfront about it with the girl and she wants the same thing that's completely different.

[KungFuJoe]

That's different. Not everyone wants a relationship. As long as he's upfront about it with the girl and she wants the same thing that's completely different.

 

Just merely trying to point out that everything is based on perception.

 

MrCastle might think that someone who sticks around just because someone is "hot" is shallow.

 

Someone else might look at a guy whose longest "relationship" was three weeks and call that shallow.

 

To each his own, is my whole point.

[SteveC80]

People are as shallow as their options the ones who claim they arent super shallow and would prefer an average person to a 10 because they claim hot people are mostly full of themselves cant get 10's so their points moot.

 

Physical attraction is necassary for most people otherwise why have friends of the opposite sex if all it takes to get into a relationship is common interests and a connection?

 

The difference between a female friend i have and a lady i want to make a girflriend is physical attraction!

[MrCastle]

MrCastle,

 

I have to admit that some of your threads confuse me.

 

I mean, this rant about being shallow but aren't you one that doesn't even want females as friends and only wants casual relationships and nothing serious?

 

I mean...if we're on the subject of shallow and all......just sayin'

 

What's shallow about wanting casual relationships in which both parties understand and agree to it? Stop it.