Kristy_y Posted July 20, 2013 Share Posted July 20, 2013 My husband has been in the hospital and is going to be released come Tuesday. He had surgery to remove a mass as well as his appendix he is in his late 20's. Well my in-laws think we need to move in with them until he is fully over his surgery because we live in a condo on the third story and they don’t think he should be climbing the stars so soon after surgery and such. I disagree with them I mean I know he has had surgery but once he is inside he isn't going to need to go anywhere for a while I mean he is off of work for the next week. I even talked to my husband and he thinks his parents are overreacting. How should I approach this with them? What should I do? I understand there caring and want to help but i just feel like i can take care of him on my own ya know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kristy_y Posted July 20, 2013 Author Share Posted July 20, 2013 Maybe but it isn't like he needs more stress. Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I find it troubling that your husband cannot assert his wishes to your parents. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I agree its his decision but to aid his recovery maybe you can offer a compromise. He will heal better in his own home but offer to accept his parents help to get him there and one or both can come over a couple of times to help him if he needs it and "spell" you too so you can do marketing or something. That gives them the opportunity to help their son, bond a little with you and gives you an opportunity to show them that you respect them. They need to feel needed and it will help your husband too to see that you are including them. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 My ex-MIL was extremely over-bearing. Phone 17 times in a row, and if she didn't get an answer, show up and peer in our windows kind of overbearing. If your H is anything like my exH- he will probably choose the path of least resistance. It should be up to your H to recover where he chooses, but he may opt to be passive about it to keep the peace if you don't intervene. You don't have to be combative with your in-laws, just appeal to their softer side. Tell them you want this opportunity as his wife to take care of him- and let them know how important it is to you to take on that role. Ask them to help you out in that role. It's all in the approach. If you want this, and you know your husband wants this (but doesn't need the stress of dealing with them at the moment), figure out how to appeal to them on an emotional level that doesn't come off as if you're being combative. That involves asking for their support to help you, so you take the onus off what they want and turn it into something you really need to feel like his wife. It sort of deflects their focus from what they want, to a new task of helping you- especially if you broach the subject as needing their help to make this happen. Link to post Share on other sites
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