I think we're more than friends and I think I'm in control but not sure.

[404namenotfound]

Long story short this girl was/is my friend, we actually started out being friends because I saw her and wanted her so I took her on a few non dates then finally asked her out. Turns out she had a BF at the time. We stayed "friends" after that but were never too close even though we did see each other often.

 

Now they have broken up but no totally separated and its messy and I don't know where her mind is. That said I'm pretty sure they won't be getting back together based on the little bit I have heard, this relationship had been dying for a long time. I can say though she is being way more friendly, open (about things that aren't the BF, she doesn't talk about that to me), shares intimate things with me (like where she is ticklish, self pics, asking questions about her bikini), and just generally being flirtier and wants to spend time with me. She has never really had a problem with me being in her personal space but now she it looks like she is fishing for it. Also she's not really an attention seeking person, she's attractive and used to being surrounded by horny guys it's not like she needs to be nice to me to get attention. She actually dresses down a lot to avoid attention.

 

So I'd say she's into me as more than a friend and more than a rebound but I'm not 100% sure.

 

With that is it possible to take this too slow? I don't want to dive into this while she still has a mess with the ex. At this point I'd say I'm in control of how far she goes with me, not the other way around. I feel like that's a good position to be in but I have never been in it before and I don't know how to use it appropriately.

 

I started another thread about this earlier but I think I didn't explain the story properly and it just went in a weird direction.

Edited July 20, 2013 by 404namenotfound

[Shepp]

To break up with her bf one day and then start uping the flirt with you right after would hint at a rebound to me or even attempt to make her ex jealous?

 

If she does like you then she'll still be after you 2/3 weeks down the line when her break ups done and dusted!

[404namenotfound]

So the problem is its not really a clean they've broken up and are both done with each other type scenario, and this has already been going with me for probably a month now and she keeps getting closer.

 

Without writing a novel about the relationships involved here I'd say its like the relationship with the ex is and has been tapering off for months and is now almost nothing, while the relationship between us is ramping up. Its kind of like they are slowly realizing they are not right for each other but don't really have a problem with each other and she still sort of wants to make it work but there is nothing left there. Then the ex is of course going to take what he can get from her as this girl is way better than any girl he's probably ever going to get again.

 

This isn't really a typical they broke up because they had a problem, someone gets all emotional, hooks up with some random dude to make her feel better, and then goes running back to the ex deal, or so it seems to me.

 

I'm not really looking for insight on that. I was just trying to figure out what to do on my end. I'd say she likes me but needs time to come to terms with the fact that her relationship with her ex is in the past. Really what I'm getting at is how do I keep her seriously interested in me without going so far that I end up starting some sort of FWB/rebound/broken short term relationship?