Struggling with today's party culture?

[ANewBeginning]

So where I live and my age bracket, everyone seems geared towards the party lifestyle - getting dressed up, getting drunk, hitting the town etc. This then repeats itself throughout the week particularly during the weekend.

 

While I don't mind heading out every now and then, the thing is I'm not really into the whole clubbing scene. Heck I prefer nights in or seeing as I'm the outdoorsy type, camping or road tripping somewhere.

 

So where does that leave me? While other guys seem to be getting out there I'm almost being a social outcast. Furthermore it reduces the amount of woman I meet in a sense and for some reason those that I do meet doing my own thing are always already in a relationship.

 

So whats wrong with me? Should I just cast all doubt out by skulling a bottle of vodka and just go out? I don't want to be some PUA screening the local coffee shop but honestly, having everything going for me right now makes single life just seem that bit more highlighted.

[404namenotfound]

You don't want party/bar chicks anyway. About the only things you can do is use work/school, mutual activities, a dating site, or picking up chicks in public.

[MrCastle]

I'm 25 and hate the party scene. A few times a year I go out to a bar and it's usually to celebrate some sort of event. I don't go to those places unless I have a reason to go.

 

You can take up other activities that expose you to people your age.

 

The majority of yoga classes are female. But they're not female only. You can show up and take classes with them and meet them there.

 

There are dance classes.

 

Plenty of other avenues. Online dating is another. I personally don't use it, but it can be an option for people.

[white]

Honestly, you're a bit ****ed. Under the age of 30, Western lifestyles revolve around alcohol. The majority of people out there couldn't live or conduct a personal and leisure life without it. Not partaking of it yourself means not only you aren't meeting anyone there, but you're not socialising with your friends and widening your circle there either. Your only real choice is to attempt ever more ridiculous activities as thinly-veiled attempts to meet romantic partners. At least they make you a better person than your contemporaries though.

[hppr]

I hate the clubber culture too, it disgusts me. It's all attention whores and psychotic guys, boozing it up, doing drugs til your head spins and you forget what planet you are on. Anyone who tells you otherwise hasn't lived it or is bull****ting you.

 

Maybe you'd do better in a different town? Like a smaller, outdoorsy hippie kinda town? Something like Humboldt up in California or maybe Sedona in AZ those two are kinda as you describe, more outdoorsy less of the party-druggy-clubber stuff. Not saying move to those places specifically just read up on them and ask yourself if you'd rather be there with that crowd.

[charlietheginger]

Same boat ....

 

I work 10hours on sat 10sun running my small biz

I dont have time to drink fri or sat becuase if i did

I would be hungover and if i dont work i dont make

Money no money means i can't pay my bills means

Ill be homeless.

 

For me alcohol only slows me down. Staying out

Partying means i get home late and the next day

Is unproductive.

 

Ive had luck at the gym... But im a hardbody that

Eats healthy and trains 5days a week.

 

Ive had luck going out to bars TO SING KARAOKE

Early hours from 8 till 11 and sports bars with

Friends watching games.....

 

 

I personally feel to many men spend to much time

Chasing women....

 

The best way to attract women is do what i did

save your money dont go out for a yr or so. Eat

Healthy and excersize regularly. Save your money

For yourself. If your car is junky have it painted

If your clothes dont fit buy better clothes.

 

need braces save for them

Mole on your face save to get it removed

Ears stick out save up have them pinned back

 

You get the idea build yourself "into someone women

Will want to be with "

[miss_jaclynrae]

I grew out of the party phase with the quickness. You meet people still.

Bookstores, coffee shops, I met many guys at those two places.

 

Softball team, gym, castle gave some great options.

Trust me when I say that you don't need to be a party person to meet people.

[Pompeii]

You don't want party/bar chicks anyway. About the only things you can do is use work/school, mutual activities, a dating site, or picking up chicks in public.

 

What's wrong with women from bars? They're the same people that you work with during the day... It's not like they come out of the sewers on the weekends and flood the bars...

 

Honestly, you're a bit ****ed. Under the age of 30, Western lifestyles revolve around alcohol. The majority of people out there couldn't live or conduct a personal and leisure life without it. Not partaking of it yourself means not only you aren't meeting anyone there, but you're not socialising with your friends and widening your circle there either. Your only real choice is to attempt ever more ridiculous activities as thinly-veiled attempts to meet romantic partners. At least they make you a better person than your contemporaries though.

 

Since I made the choice to be aesthetic, I gave up alcohol.

 

One of the best decisions I've ever made.

[ScreamingTrees]

Well, for those of us who don't play softball or work out at home and stay in good shape, it seems we're ****ed. I don't drink, and I'm starting to see that it's going to be a major issue apparently.

 

I think the people that think it's odd are the odd ones and have no problem telling them to their faces, but it'd be futile anyway.

 

It's just sad that people can't learn to enjoy and appreciate life instead of running away from it with disgusting habits..

 

I still never see a random stranger just walk up to someone randomly and start a conversation.. I don't see how else you can really start one.

 

And even if you have a nice conversation, if you ask her for her number and even clarified that it was only as a friendly gesture, that'd surely backfire on you if you're really looking for something more.

 

I doubt anyone really asks for a number because of one nice pleasant relatively brief conversation with a stranger, or else they'd seem really desperate, like they only came in there for that. You're f****ed either way.

 

You're going to walk to a local bookstore just to get coffee and a doughnut at the coffee shop and sit down hoping that some how you'll brush up against someone, or maybe get up to throw your wrapper away and somehow the perfect opportunity to naturally and casually start an in-depth conversation will just spring up?

 

What are the chances of this happening? Very slim, unless you literally just look through a room and say "oh, she's cute" and just choose to walk up to her. Now apparently this will make a guy look like a (social) retard. I probably am a social retard, so maybe that's why I'd think of just going for the jugular and being direct and up front.. So it seems you just can't win either way.

 

I don't expect anyone to respond to these thoughts, because they probably don't have an articulate, valid answer anyway.. Or else threads such as the OP's wouldn't exist.

Edited July 21, 2013 by ScreamingTrees

[kaylan]

Some people are late bloomers, and others just arent the partying type.

 

I used to not be the partying type. I didnt have an urge to party until my girlfriend broke my heart at 22 right before I transferred into university from community college. I didnt want to sulk, and I wanted to get over her, so I forced myself into the party scene.

 

I wanted to socialize and meet women so I could get rid of my pain. And as it turned out, I enjoyed partying very much and did it alot over the next few years. I dont do it as much now at 26, but still have some really fun nights. Im hitting the beach next weekend with an old college buddy, and we are gonna drink all day and then drink some more in the evening and talk to some girls at the bar.

 

Dont worry OP. You dont have to club. Theres a night scene for everyone. There are lounges, bars, places with live music. Definitely try a nice bar with live music. My college town had a bar like that, and the more laid back kids loved it. Theyd get drunk and play pool while dancing to folk rock.

 

It was still a party, but different from the bars up the block, or the clubby bars that played top 40 dance beats with people grinding on each other.

[Woggle]

As somebody who did my share of crazy stuff back in the day people these days are amateurs.

[bluegreen]

No use forcing yourself into environment you hate from church to volunteering groups to nature and to coffee shops books stores beach out door sports and yoga there taking few classes to ....

 

As anyone can see there is gazillion ways to meet people but honestly in today's time bigger issue is "money"

[Woggle]

These days everybody is either some crazy party person or some ultra consertive bore. There is no middle ground anymore.

[Pyro]

Like a few others have said concentrate more on what you enjoy. Get into your hobbies and join some clubs of some sort that require you to interact with other people.

 

Its possible to find a catch at a bar/club but don't stop there. Give yourself as many options as possible to meet someone.

[TheFinalWord]

I don't drink, and I'm starting to see that it's going to be a major issue apparently.

 

Just for kicks log-on to your favorite OLD site.

 

Put in your normal parameters. Finally, click "never" on drinking. Examine your total returns.

 

It's just sad that people can't learn to enjoy and appreciate life instead of running away from it with disgusting habits..

 

You might become straight edge

 

Edited July 21, 2013 by TheFinalWord

[USMCHokie]

I feel like I missed out on the party scene during my prime years. I regret not having experienced it.

[Pyro]

I feel like I missed out on the party scene during my prime years. I regret not having experienced it.

 

Dude you look good for your age. You can still take part in the party scene if you desire it.

[chromeo]

Try meetup.

 

So where I live and my age bracket, everyone seems geared towards the party lifestyle - getting dressed up, getting drunk, hitting the town etc. This then repeats itself throughout the week particularly during the weekend.

 

While I don't mind heading out every now and then, the thing is I'm not really into the whole clubbing scene. Heck I prefer nights in or seeing as I'm the outdoorsy type, camping or road tripping somewhere.

 

So where does that leave me? While other guys seem to be getting out there I'm almost being a social outcast. Furthermore it reduces the amount of woman I meet in a sense and for some reason those that I do meet doing my own thing are always already in a relationship.

 

So whats wrong with me? Should I just cast all doubt out by skulling a bottle of vodka and just go out? I don't want to be some PUA screening the local coffee shop but honestly, having everything going for me right now makes single life just seem that bit more highlighted.

[El Brujo]

These days everybody is either some crazy party person or some ultra consertive bore. There is no middle ground anymore.

 

I wouldn't go quite that far.

 

The middle ground you refer to is slowly being taken over by niche meetups. As for people who have looked around and haven't found anything... well, that's probably because nobody has started a group that suits their niche yet.

 

Opinions of the party/bar/nightclub scenes aside, going to these things is a pretty time-consuming bit... that's time you could be spending doing something real, like making money instead.

[ScreamingTrees]

Just for kicks log-on to your favorite OLD site.

 

Put in your normal parameters. Finally, click "never" on drinking. Examine your total returns.

 

 

 

You might become straight edge

 

 

That's not really something I identify with, I just don't do drugs and I drink socially but I'm getting tired of even doing that. I do see your point, though. Not my problem, anyway.

 

I know several young guys who've picked up drugs like "hillbilly heroin" (pills) and coke and ****.. It ruins your body, they look like emaciated children. Not attractive or masculine at all. I pity them, truly.

 

Alcohol isn't as bad in that sense, but, the people I see who are really into "partying" are very often total idiots. If they didn't spend the majority of their time in a darkened room full of blazing music they'd be bored because they're boring as hell without the booze and the distractions. Or they're self-medicating for whatever reason.

 

What exactly IS "partying"? A group of girls standing around at a club and drinking a drink while they try to talk to each other over obnoxiously loud music before they decide to drink several more and get stupid hammered where they're making fools of themselves and popping their mouths of? Is that really that "extreme" or "crazy"? No, not really. I could picture a much more "exciting" and "engaging" scenario. That **** ain't any better than me.

[Pompeii]

These days everybody is either some crazy party person or some ultra consertive bore. There is no middle ground anymore.

 

Wow. Well, if you put it that way I would much rather be the latter because those people are usually the ones who amount to jack **** in life.

[tomtucker]

Wow. Well, if you put it that way I would much rather be the latter because those people are usually the ones who amount to jack **** in life.

 

Bro, you're accomplishing mastery. So you're good.

[KungFuJoe]

Dude you look good for your age. You can still take part in the party scene if you desire it.

 

Yeah, what Pyro said. I used to hit up clubs and bars when I was in my late teens/early 20s, but I did most of my "crazy" partying after I turned 25 and well into my 30s. I've slowed down a bit at 39 (kids will do that to you) but these days...you party til you die!

[chromeo]

He's WILLIAM FRIGGIN' HUNG. The greatest pimp who ever lived!

 

Dude you look good for your age. You can still take part in the party scene if you desire it.

[TheFinalWord]

That's not really something I identify with, I just don't do drugs and I drink socially but I'm getting tired of even doing that. I do see your point, though. Not my problem, anyway.

 

Oh, I agree. It seems childish to me, but it does seem that you have to find some sort of "cool" way to justify teetotalism for it not to be a social hindrance. Personally, the partying lifestyle does not appeal to me. I lived the lifestyle for years, and honestly I do not feel like I am missing anything.

 

I know several young guys who've picked up drugs like "hillbilly heroin" (pills) and coke and ****.. It ruins your body, they look like emaciated children. Not attractive or masculine at all. I pity them, truly.

 

I was into drugs for years. Drugs are basically the manifestation of some deeper, internal problem.

 

Alcohol isn't as bad in that sense, but, the people I see who are really into "partying" are very often total idiots. If they didn't spend the majority of their time in a darkened room full of blazing music they'd be bored because they're boring as hell without the booze and the distractions. Or they're self-medicating for whatever reason.

 

What exactly IS "partying"? A group of girls standing around at a club and drinking a drink while they try to talk to each other over obnoxiously loud music before they decide to drink several more and get stupid hammered where they're making fools of themselves and popping their mouths of? Is that really that "extreme" or "crazy"? No, not really. I could picture a much more "exciting" and "engaging" scenario. That **** ain't any better than me.

 

To an extent, I agree. Alcohol causes more problems than it solves IMHO. When my cousin killed himself and his 5 year old due to running into a semi while intoxicated, it really changed my opinion. Many people overestimate their ability to drive when they are drinking.

 

Sounds like you have been doing some introspection. The first time this hit me is when I stopped doing drugs, but continued hanging out with drug users. When you're sober and everyone else is intoxicated, it gives quite a different perspective of the issue.

 

Yes, it can get the point where someone cannot have a good time unless alcohol is involved. I understand that mentality, but it no longer appeals to me.