interested/confused Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Ok i met this guy we started talking exchanged numbers and he asked me if i had a bf i said no ( i lied ) then asked him and he said yes but it complicated shes the mother of his 5 year old and they live together but then he asked me on a date i went knowing he had a gf ... we have now had sex a couple of times .... but it not just sex we txt all the time talk about our kids, lives, even work.... i have developed feelings for him and yet i feel bad for the gf i was the stay at home wife and mother whos (now ex) husband cheated..... plus ive now cheated on my bf..... i want to be with the guy with the gf..... advice plz Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Ok i met this guy we started talking exchanged numbers and he asked me if i had a bf i said no ( i lied ) then asked him and he said yes but it complicated shes the mother of his 5 year old and they live together but then he asked me on a date i went knowing he had a gf ... we have now had sex a couple of times .... but it not just sex we txt all the time talk about our kids, lives, even work.... i have developed feelings for him and yet i feel bad for the gf i was the stay at home wife and mother whos (now ex) husband cheated..... plus ive now cheated on my bf..... i want to be with the guy with the gf..... advice plz How long have you been seeing the guy with a gf? I've been the ow for 7.5 years and its really hard some days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author interested/confused Posted July 21, 2013 Author Share Posted July 21, 2013 Like a month .... i feel terrible he just left and he came by after work before he goes home to her .... its just terrible y wont he just make up his mind? Link to post Share on other sites
Author interested/confused Posted July 21, 2013 Author Share Posted July 21, 2013 True i need to make a decision as well... i justify mine with i dont want to hurt my bf but ive already done it.... btw my bf and i have never had sex..... plus i want to know he ( the guy with the gf )feels the same way about me.... Im terrible..... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Ok i met this guy we started talking exchanged numbers and he asked me if i had a bf i said no ( i lied ) then asked him and he said yes but it complicated shes the mother of his 5 year old and they live together but then he asked me on a date i went knowing he had a gf ... we have now had sex a couple of times .... but it not just sex we txt all the time talk about our kids, lives, even work.... i have developed feelings for him and yet i feel bad for the gf i was the stay at home wife and mother whos (now ex) husband cheated..... plus ive now cheated on my bf..... i want to be with the guy with the gf..... advice plz Why did you lie to him? Why not just tell the truth? You knew from the start he had a child with a woman whom he lives with, hate to say it but you invited this mess into your life willingly. I say break up with your boyfriend, it's obvious you do not love him, nor respect him. Sorry to be harsh but why else would you just go ahead and cheat on him, and also lie to the OM that you were single. Anyway, end it with your bf, he deserves to be with someone that will love only him and not cheat on him. As for the 'taken' man, he has a child and honestly, it seems he has no real interest in ending what he has with his common law wife. I'm betting he'll have no problem having an affair with you though, that is, if you want to be his OW. You say you talk about your children, that means you have a child (or two) as well? If so, this just complicates things even more. Link to post Share on other sites
LilGirlandOW Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I've been the OW for 10mnths now, and like princess said its a tough steak to chew somedays, I've been a single OW so I cant comment about having a BP on my side, its good for you to feel bad for his BS, hold onto that you may need those feelings when a dday happens or you change your mind about the A. Be careful A's can escalate before you realize it, my MM told me he loved me, etc etc at about the 5mnth mark. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 True i need to make a decision as well... i justify mine with i dont want to hurt my bf but ive already done it.... btw my bf and i have never had sex..... plus i want to know he ( the guy with the gf )feels the same way about me.... Im terrible..... End it with your current boyfriend. If you were really into him, you wouldn't be testing the waters elsewhere. So, let's say the taken guy has some feelings for you. What then? You want to help him break up his family unit to be with you and your child(ren)? You barely know this guy and haven't invested much into him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author interested/confused Posted July 21, 2013 Author Share Posted July 21, 2013 My bf and i have been together for 3 months hes really sweet but smothers me way too much he also goes out of his way to make us perfect for one another i hate it... i shared the other info bc im not having sex with both of them...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Like a month .... i feel terrible he just left and he came by after work before he goes home to her .... its just terrible y wont he just make up his mind? Make up your mind! Why give him all the power? Each of you are cheating on your partners. Even though you say you haven't had sex with your bf yet, it's still cheating. I hope you gain the strength and gain insight by reading other stories on here to see what you're up against if you continue along this path. Link to post Share on other sites
LilGirlandOW Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 3mnths and you're not happy with BF, I say leave and move on, you're in the honeymoon phase things will not get better... do it now before you complicate things more by adding to the R, with sex, mutual assets, etc Link to post Share on other sites
Author interested/confused Posted July 21, 2013 Author Share Posted July 21, 2013 Im going to break up with bf tonight .... ive made my mind up on that one but idk if i should tell him i cheated ...... plus how do i tell the OM im developing feelings .... he says hes leaving her and taking his kid but idk what that means like that me and him are going to get together or just that hes leaving her.... Link to post Share on other sites
hippetyhop Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Like a month .... i feel terrible he just left and he came by after work before he goes home to her .... its just terrible y wont he just make up his mind? You are making up his mind by allowing him to have his cake and eat it too! Link to post Share on other sites
The Way I Am Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 (edited) Yes. Break up with your boyfriend. No. Don't tell him you cheated unless he won't accept the break up. No need to mar his trust in others after such a short "relationship". As for this taken man, he told you he had a gf and asked you on a date after telling you. Seems like the actions of a man looking for a woman on the side. Then you not only agreed to a date but had sex with him without any stipulation that you require your men to be single and willing to commit to you. If he really was unhappy and you had drawn a line that he had to be single before you got involved, you might have had a chance at a relationship with him. As it is, you're pretty likely the be strung along in OW status, because you've shown him that's what you're willing to accept. Edited July 22, 2013 by The Way I Am Link to post Share on other sites
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