Walk Away Wife with a bad twist

[v8crazy]

We have been married almost 25 years and have two children 11 and 8. Things really started to change January 2nd. I was very sick with pneumonia. She went to the drug store to pick up scripts that were ready. It took her almosy three hours to make a 2 mile drive. She said she was talking to one of mu daughter's mother. The next day I started to wonder and just to put my mind at ease I went online and looked at cell phone records. WOW she had texted a unknown number ofer 60 times while we were on out dream Christmas vacation. I kept my mouth shut and started digging. I should have known something was up because she has been on a health kick (she was not real overweight anyway. but know she has a killer body. She wouldn't let me even touch her that way and no sex whatsoever.

I finally confronted her about it after I started getting text messages from a strange number saying all kinds of things that she supposedly said. That I was ugly and she loathed me and what she would do to him. She admitted to seeing someone and swore she never said that stuff and he would not do that. I am sorry for the long thread but it will get better in a minute. My whole world came crashing down on me. For the first time I have been put on strong antidepressants. She told me she really cared for me but did not love me.

Fast foward a few weeks and I was working at my second job at my shop working for a local car dealer. This winter I insulated my shop because I used it so much. well one night I didn't come home a the regular time and she came over to make sure I was alright. I was not alright when I seald the shop i sealed in the carbon monoxide. I was unconscious and she got me outside. I was sent to a hospital 75 miles away. I stayed there by myself( Just as I was getting over that I was in a bad roll over car accident. 21 fractures in my face but the worst part was they found a mass in my lung. Since then they found two types of skin cancer. They found a deep squamous cell carcinoma on my arm(it can spread and be deadly) and melanoma on my stomach.

How can my life get any worse? I have my medical insurance through my wife's work, My workplace don't offer it. I went alone to the first visit to lung cancer doctor. My personal family doctor has never had a patient with three different types of cancer before. MY wife said she will help me get through medical crises(A hug and kiss would go a long way to help me but that is not happening). How can someone that has always been the nicest person in the world turn into somebody so cold. We went to one session of marriage counseling and she said no more.

I am ready to kick her to the curb no matter how much it hurts and let the cancer put me out of my misery. I am sorry this turned out to be a short novel but hoe can one person that always thought I had it made and was living the dream life everybody always told me how lucky I was. but woke up in hell. This hurts more than when the coroner told me my little brother was burned alive in a car wreck. She said she was staying put for medical insurance reasons for me. She said she owes me that. Maybe the cancer will kill me quickly as I am thinking about refusing treatment except for the pain drugs.( I have never took drugs before) Thanks for listening.

[Balzac]

Contact hospice for palliative care and emotional support.

 

Unbelievably sad story. I'm sorry for your misery.

[v8crazy]

Contact hospice for palliative care and emotional support.

 

Unbelievably sad story. I'm sorry for your misery.

Too early for Hospice I just got the biopsy results it came back as

Small-cell carcinoma. The Pulmonary oncologist. Hasn't told me if it is inoperable yet.I will probably forgo treatment. Most die anyways.

[SoleMate]

Very sad story. I hope you can find a few bright points of light, possibly your children, to give meaning at this difficult time.

[v8crazy]

Very sad story. I hope you can find a few bright points of light, possibly your children, to give meaning at this difficult time.

I love my children more than life itself. I am going to a lawyer next week to set up some kind of trust. I have a substantial life insurance policy. I want them to get as much as possible when they get older. But i want to make sure there is enough for them in the meantime until they get old enough. I don't my "wife" to be able to better herself with any of it. I have a feeling it will be complicated. Just think December 25 2012 I was at Disney World thinking it doesn't get any better than this. I was the happiest guy in the world. I was a fool. I actually thought I was living the American dream.

[Steadfast]

You're not dead yet. Stop acting like it. We all die V8; some reading this, myself included, might die before you do. Being a martyr won't give your children the critical wisdom they'll need after you are gone. Regardless.

 

Step one: dismiss your cheating wife and send her away. Her actions are motivated by guilt, not care. Tell her to go to the other man. Be gone!

 

Be an example and regain your dignity.

 

Organize your legal obligations regarding the children with a lawyer. In other words, organize your life so you can focus on fighting what's threatening you. Enlist the companionship of a trusted friend or relative and seek the professional care (mental and physical) you'll need to sustain your fight. Embrace each day and fight off pity. Be the example!

 

Life is precious. I will pray for you and keep you in my thoughts.

 

Keep posting.

[v8crazy]

The reason I have not tossed her out is my health insurance is through her work. MY work does not offer it. Just my pharmacy bill alone last month was over 7,000 dollars. I would like nothing better than to pack her stuff and set it outside and see the look on her face when she learns she will have to give me 1/2 her government pension. I would put most of that into a trust fund for the kids. But if I am going to fight this monster I am going to have to put up with her living here. She told me the affair is over wants to stay and help. I think it is just guilt and she don't want to be shamed as the person who dumped someone with cancer. I am still going to quietly change my life insurance policy so only the kids will benefit if treatments don't work.

[Yasuandio]

Dude, THINK. Your body is having trouble, but your mind is still good.

 

1. HER Medical Insurance: No one is taking you off her medical insurance at any moment in the near future, so take that out of your mind. In fact, a Judge might force HER to pay your coverage for the rest of your days.

 

2. Your FUTURE Medical Coverage: You need to cover your but right now by applying for Social Security Disability. That will get the clocking ticking. It sometimes takes forever to get it - and many times you need an attorney. But once you have been approved, and have been collecting benefites for two years, you are then covered by Medicare and their great Prescription Drug Benefits.

 

3. Get All the Evidence. She is going to look like crap to any Judge, believe me. Tape record conversations. Get all the data off the net before she disappears it.

 

4. Make her GET OUT NOW. Having her there, right in your face, cannot be less than is pure torture to you soul. You must set up hous-keeping to encourage your positive treatment and recovery. Yes, recovery. You must try to recover. You must fight. You must do everything in your power to survive, to remain alive as long as possible for your children. Don't give up.

 

5. Get an attorney NOW. Make sure your attorney is not a jack axx, or a dumb but.

 

6. Keep in Contact with LS. We are all here for you. I know it looks impossible. Bot can do this. Your brain is working really good!

 

I don't know anything about cancer. But know of two colleagues that survived some major advanced cancer situations from over ten years ago - and they are still walking the Earth. It was "M.D. Anderson" in Texas that was the Go-To place back then, that saved these two colleages' lives. Another colleague, and my 20 year BFF, her sister had breast cancer that advanced throughout her body, and her life was dramatically extended with the help of M.D. Anderson's care (this woman happened to live in Texas). I am sorry I do not know more. But I do know there is hope for some really seriously advanced cancer situations. I saw it with my own eyes. Yas

[Darren Steez]

You have children but you're willing to die just to spite her? Your kids should be your strength for moving forward and fighting for life.

[v8crazy]

You have children but you're willing to die just to spite her? Your kids should be your strength for moving forward and fighting for life.

One of the reasons I may not get treatments is the side effects are terrible. They are going to do a full PET scan in two weeks to see if it has spread to other places. The doc wants to check my spine area because of my legs go numb. My aunt had same thing 5 years ago and the radiation and chemo kept her in bed for six months then she died. It is a decision of quality over quantity. I wish we had a place like M D Anderson here in hicksville. Believe it or not my wife's father He know nothing of what is going on with wife.) told me if it is inoperable he would foot the bill for me to take the kids on my bucket list vacation,hag may try to tag along. I want to see the Redwood Forest,Grand Canion, things like that. I have been thinking about swallowing my pride let her stay a few months because I will need help If I have to have chemo and radiation. Just use her and if I recover good enough serve her with divorce papers.I have kept all the proof of her wrong doings.She has a large pension and I will take half of it.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

One of the reasons I may not get treatments is the side effects are terrible. They are going to do a full PET scan in two weeks to see if it has spread to other places. The doc wants to check my spine area because of my legs go numb. My aunt had same thing 5 years ago and the radiation and chemo kept her in bed for six months then she died. It is a decision of quality over quantity. I wish we had a place like M D Anderson here in hicksville. Believe it or not my wife's father He know nothing of what is going on with wife.) told me if it is inoperable he would foot the bill for me to take the kids on my bucket list vacation,hag may try to tag along. I want to see the Redwood Forest,Grand Canion, things like that. I have been thinking about swallowing my pride let her stay a few months because I will need help If I have to have chemo and radiation. Just use her and if I recover good enough serve her with divorce papers.I have kept all the proof of her wrong doings.She has a large pension and I will take half of it.

 

Dear V8.

 

The advice you received about insurance is correct. You do not have to live with the cheating tart to stay on her insurance.

 

I also have cancer and am in treatment right now, actually one of the reasons why I have been online so much... Certainly not a party, but nothing worth leaving your kids fatherless and alone with only the Cheating Tart and her boy toy of the moment. Seriously. Kind of a pain in the ass, but not so miserable you can't live with it. Don't let people's stories of misery talk you out of treatments, medical progress in cancer is massive and changes by the minute so someone's treatment on a cancer just like yours may be treated entirely differently.

 

One thing you need to know is that your trauma from the cheating and the cancer messes with your emotions. It's ok, you are entitled. But be careful of making your treatment decisions based on your emotional devastation.

 

There are tons of great cancer centers all over the country, covered by insurance, why not go to one of those for a second opinion? Or for treatment. Bonus is you can get away from Cheating Tart. Tell me what region of the country and I will give you a couple of excellent choices.

 

Good plan with the estate lawyer. Regardless of anything, taking care of your family is good.

 

Take care V8

[v8crazy]

I live in northwest Alabama. Where state officials said the Certificate of Need board voted 4-2 to reject the plans for the new cancer center.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

I live in northwest Alabama. Where state officials said the Certificate of Need board voted 4-2 to reject the plans for the new cancer center.

 

Vanderbilt in Nashville and Emory in Atlanta are not far from you. Both have superior cancer facilities. It's really worth talking to a specialist so why not go to md Anderson or Sloan Kettering? We went to Dana Farber and met with the leading doctor about treatment for my husband and it was amazing.

 

Apparently, almost everyone with your type of cancer can get in a clinical trial.

 

I am being treated close to home, but most people don't live so close to fabulous facilities. Most people travel for their treatments.

[v8crazy]

Vanderbilt in Nashville and Emory in Atlanta are not far from you. Both have superior cancer facilities. It's really worth talking to a specialist so why not go to md Anderson or Sloan Kettering? We went to Dana Farber and met with the leading doctor about treatment for my husband and it was amazing.

 

Apparently, almost everyone with your type of cancer can get in a clinical trial.

 

I am being treated close to home, but most people don't live so close to fabulous facilities. Most people travel for their treatments.

I would love to go to Vanderbilt if I can get through out of network treatment. Vanderbilt is only 2.5 hours away. I want to thank everyone here. it helps with my perspective and helps bring me out of my personal pity party.

I would be a liar if I said this board didn't change my perspective. this is a tough road to travel alone. I have nobody local that I can talk to. I cant talk to my mother because she is still grieving the death of my brother in a car wreck where he, according to witnesses he burned alive. to add a odd twist my brother was married to my wife's little sister. I really thank everybody here this is the first time I could vent my frustrations. Here at home I seem to be the guy people go to for advice. Now the table has turned thanks to one selfish person. again I thank all of you here for being here for me in my time of need.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

You are welcome.

 

Call your insurance company.. They should have someone who can help with your options, also, you might be able to get them to agree to pay in network because of the uniqueness of your type of cancer.

 

Good luck.