Fallen for married man

[beachybabe]

Firstly I am a good girl with integrity and morals etc. I am 30 years old. And I am attractive. I am unable to commit long term to anyone for longer than one year. I am emotionally stable and currently happily single. I have had several flings but because I am attractive I attract gorgeous guys with awful personalities and I am over the arrogance of these men. I dont feel anything with them at all.

 

I walked in the door to work and I saw him. The attraction was instant. Before I even spoke to him I sensed things about him. Hes not super hot. But he is a brilllant person. Strong and sensitive and mature. Hes been through alot. Its mutual because I can see it reflected back in his eyes.

 

And hes recently married.

 

He talks about his wife and how much she wants kids etc. But his eyes are on me. To be honest I am old enough to deal with this now. I know what to do. I just wanted to write about it. I always take the side of the female because we all have been through this havnt we girls? (our men going for another women)

 

Its happened before and I chopped the friendship with the guy because his fiance was super cool and her and I became friends and would joke about him.

 

I understand men. I am not bitter or twisted. I am fun and friendly and enjoy life hugly. But I get men. Thats why I wont commit for too long. I have a string of broken hearts in my wake but I refuse to be stuck in a cage and feel insecure while my boyfriend is racing around cheating or dreaming of other women. Been there far too many times.

 

I think long term relationships die down. No matter what you do to revive the spark. Its the way life is. Some people can deal with this. some people cant. I cant deal with men losing sexual interest in me. I like passion and fun. I always leave when its just getting comfortable. When he starts flirting with my sisters. When you see porn lying around everywhere. When hes always asking about your hot best friend. I pack up and go. Its the same pattern everytime. Then he always goes crazy and wants me back and while he is dying with love for me I let him hang himself emotionally. I walk away with my heart and dont look back. Is that twisted? I am very calm I dont yell or manipulate. I just pack up and go.

 

I intend to behave myself with this guy but I am having some pretty freaking exciting fantasies about getting him up against a wall and F%$^ing his brains out. Excuse the language but after all these hot males with no personalities this one is really hitting the mark. In real life it probably never would be like that.

 

But I need to behave myself.

 

For his wifes sake. For womens sake.

[So happy together]

I'm sorry. That sounds like a horrible existence. I can't figure out if ridiculous or troll...

[wanting more]

Is there a question?

[Mount]

Nice writing.

 

In short, to summarzie, you dump guys one step ahead before they dump you,that is very normal for certain women, very typical.

 

He talks about his wife and how much she wants kids etc. But his eyes are on me. To be honest I am old enough to deal with this now. I know what to do. I just wanted to write about it. I always take the side of the female because we all have been through this havnt we girls? (our men going for another women)

 

Its happened before and I chopped the friendship with the guy because his fiance was super cool and her and I became friends and would joke about him.

 

I understand men. I am not bitter or twisted. I am fun and friendly and enjoy life hugly. But I get men. Thats why I wont commit for too long. I have a string of broken hearts in my wake but I refuse to be stuck in a cage and feel insecure while my boyfriend is racing around cheating or dreaming of other women. Been there far too many times.

 

I think long term relationships die down. No matter what you do to revive the spark. Its the way life is. Some people can deal with this. some people cant. I cant deal with men losing sexual interest in me. I like passion and fun. I always leave when its just getting comfortable. When he starts flirting with my sisters. When you see porn lying around everywhere. When hes always asking about your hot best friend. I pack up and go. Its the same pattern everytime. Then he always goes crazy and wants me back and while he is dying with love for me I let him hang himself emotionally. I walk away with my heart and dont look back. Is that twisted? I am very calm I dont yell or manipulate. I just pack up and go.

 

I intend to behave myself with this guy but I am having some pretty freaking exciting fantasies about getting him up against a wall and F%$^ing his brains out. Excuse the language but after all these hot males with no personalities this one is really hitting the mark. In real life it probably never would be like that.

 

But I need to behave myself.

 

For his wifes sake. For womens sake.

[Ashlaria]

Firstly I am a good girl with integrity and morals etc. I am 30 years old. And I am attractive. I am unable to commit long term to anyone for longer than one year. I am emotionally stable and currently happily single.

 

Hey OP,

 

I am not sure 'unable to commit' and 'emotionally stable' can be used together in this way, they seem to be mutually exclusive to me.

 

Your description of your intolerance and low expectations are very sad and I think you might need help. Dumping someone before they can dump you is not healthy and smacks of low self esteem.

 

I am not really sure what the point of your post was, but I hope it helped

Edited July 21, 2013 by Ashlaria
typo

[So happy together]

Nice writing.

 

In short, to summarzie, you dump guys one step ahead before they dump you,that is very normal for certain women, very typical.

 

I was just curious if you could expound on the 'very typical' comment? Typical for whom?

[So happy together]

Didn't she say "certain women"? I agree, I've know some just like that.

 

I was just curious what she meant. Who are the certain women? Lol

[Mount]

I did not have any negative meaning here by saying typical. It ties with what I observed that she is afraid of being hurt, as she wrote herself.

 

So that is typical when she was always one step ahead to leave relationship first, before any guy does something to her to make her feel being hurt.

 

I was just curious if you could expound on the 'very typical' comment? Typical for whom?

[So happy together]

I did not have any negative meaning here by saying typical. It ties with what I observed that she is afraid of being hurt, as she wrote herself.

 

So that is typical when she was always one step ahead to leave relationship first, before any guy does something to her to make her feel being hurt.

 

 

Yes, yes. That is what I wanted to know. Thank you.

[Pierre]

That is the best rationalization essay I have seen in the forum..

 

In her next post she will say: "It just happened."' Ha, ha.

[2sure]

Took me years to become that jaded!

 

Please don't fell obligated to me to behave yourself.

As a woman, I can tell you ...you should be much more concerned with your own emotional health.

[Pierre]

I did not have any negative meaning here by saying typical. It ties with what I observed that she is afraid of being hurt, as she wrote herself.

 

So that is typical when she was always one step ahead to leave relationship first, before any guy does something to her to make her feel being hurt.

 

OP attracts players and cheaters. Serious men turn her off. She needs more drama.

[janedoe67]

If you really are a good person, then think about the sanctity of someone ELSE's marriage before yourself, and walk away from this man. And surround yourself with people who will encourage you to have character and think of others.

[Pierre]

So once a guy gets to know you, and you know they will dump you you run. Ok..I don't get the point of this post? Is it that you think with your inability to find someone that wants you for good you would be better with someone that would never want you fully to begin with?

 

Many would think that OP is simply dealing with the concept that she cannot keep a man to be faithful to her, therefore, she might as well date a taken man. In that manner the ego suffers less because the result is known before hand.

 

 

However, I don't think that is the problem with OP. I believe OP craves players and cheaters because these men are smooth, cool, and charismatic. They really know how to treat a woman, that is why they call them players.

 

She is looking in the wrong places.

[Pierre]

If you really are a good person, then think about the sanctity of someone ELSE's marriage before yourself, and walk away from this man. And surround yourself with people who will encourage you to have character and think of others.

 

:laugh:

 

It does not matter. It is entertainment both ways.:cool:

[SoleMate]

Beachy, is this a real situation? If so, please post your question. And forgive us if we are questioning your authenticity because this sounds like one of those extra-sexy Harlequin type romances.