Recurring insecurities threatening to poison a great relationship

[aliceb1987]

Hi there..thanks for reading my post.

I used this site heavily last year when dealing with a break up and the advice was second to none so could really do with some more insightful opinions about some issues I am currently facing.

 

Basically, I am in a currently fantastic relationship about 3 months in.I have had nothing but problematic relationships so far but my current partner has none of the issues my previous ones have had....he is stable, loving and considerate and we are really happy together!

 

So I am at a loss as to why I am still feeling fleeting but intense negative emotions regularly that I felt in my previous relationships! I know that certain bad personality traits I have didnt cause the demise of previous relationships alone as there were many problems anyway, but I am aware that they definitely didnt help and terrified that my insecurities will in effect 'poison' my current healthy and happy relationship because I cant let go of unhealthy habits.

 

There have been a couple of occasions lately where I have become very emotional and upset because I feel bad about my actions/thoughts/self etc

...and fleeting episodes of irritation or anger which result in me doing or saying things I shouldn't have then regretting it.I have suffered with mild mental health issues on and off throughout my life (depression, self harm as a teenager, low self esteem etc) i'm scared that if I cant get rid of my issues I will end up pushing my partner away.

 

Please helpme find a solution, thankyou! X

[steveT95]

I am afraid I can't offer much direct advice but would like to recommend you have a read of a book called: 'Women who love too much'

It is a brilliant little book that deals with recurring behaviours like yours that threatens relationships and other factors too. It is great guidance for building healthy relationships in these situations.

It is directed at women, but even I managed to get a greater understanding of myself from it.

 

Sorry I can't offer any actual advice though. Good luck