Help!!!

[suggestions2004]

Sorry this is long, but trust me this is nothing compared to explaining the whole story. My mom is controlling my life! She wants to tell me where to work, what time to go to bed, how long to stay on the phone (eventhough i pay the home phone bill), how to act, what to say, when to say it, who to go out with, and what to do with my life and all I ask her for is advice SOMETIMES. I can handle it most of the time, but now the love of my life is about to leave me or I leave him for the rest of my life and I know it's going to be a regret.

 

My boyfriend and I have been together now for 1 1/2 years and we want to get married, but my mom is refusing us even going out. It's getting to the point now where she's interferring in our relationship, and we are always arguing about her.

 

I can't get to his house because neither one of us has a car at the moment and i haven't seen him now for almost 2 weeks as apposed to everyday like we use to. She feels as though you're not going to use my car to see him.

 

My mom has cancer and I'm going to care for her, but she says that he's messing up our mother and daughter relationship and I know he's not because I even told him that i have to care for my mother and he was willing to take the back seat for a couple of months until she gets well, but she doesn't even want me talking on the phone with him.

 

She says that God showed her that he's automatically going to hell no matter how much we pray. She also says that I'm "killing her", that I'm selfish of arguing about my personal life while she's sick and I understand that, but how does she have time to tell me who to be with if she's sick. I'm serious, she throws punches at me like she's fighting me and I block, but I never fight back cause I'm not going to do that, and she's says that I have her fighting while she's sick and I don't. I'm very careful about her illness and I spend all of my time with her when I'm not at work.

 

My boyfriend has done nothing to her, but I want to spend time with him also (he's my boyfriend). She has got into altercations with him before the sickness and he doesn't say anything to her. I love my boyfriend very much and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I love my mom also and don't want to hurt her or feel like i'm abandoning her. What should I do?

[oannamarie]

If you dont mind me asking how old are you? Are you old enough to be married? Where does your dad fit in?

[Moose]

Age does play a large part in this. Are you in your Mom's home? That has a lot of bearing too. Is your mom paying any of the bills? This is important to know where you can stand your ground. Answer those questions and we'll be better able to help.

[suggestions2004]

Originally posted by oannamarie

If you dont mind me asking how old are you? Are you old enough to be married? Where does your dad fit in?

 

I'm 20, he's 23. And I wasn't meaning getting married now, but eventually. My dad passed away in January. : ((((((.

[suggestions2004]

Originally posted by Moose

Age does play a large part in this. Are you in your Mom's home? That has a lot of bearing too. Is your mom paying any of the bills? This is important to know where you can stand your ground. Answer those questions and we'll be better able to help.

 

 

yeah i know, but I live in my own house and my mom lives with me.

[oannamarie]

If your mom lives in your home with you she should accept your choices. I assume you are paying the bills since it is your home, however I would wait to get married. I got married when I was 19. I am now 26 and have an extremly rocky relationship with my husband. Just make sure that marriage with this guy is what you want. Really take a look at the big picture, can you see your self with him 20 years from now.