Cheating or me just being weird?

[jaydow37]

Okay Ill start off explaining the situation.

I am 20, and my girlfrend is 18.

 

I was living in Utah and I started talking to this girl I knew who lived by my hometown in Idaho.

 

She was 6 months pregnant with a guy who she was not with or had no interest in. Me and her started talking and I started to like her and she started to like me.

 

I moved from Utah back to Idaho and moved back to my parents house.

Me and her hit it off right when I got back.

We hungout all the time and I just chilled with her pregnant self and watched movies and stuff and just relaxed so she had a less stressful pregnancy.

 

Everything went well and we fell in love. I drove her to all her appointments, took her to the store, take her our to eat, drive her places when she needed someone to drive her. I just did whatever I could to help.

The baby was born and she got super depressed for the first month because she is only 18 and it was just a shock. But she got over it and she is a great mom and i try and be a great dad to this child and he loves me and ALWAYS smiles at me and laughs like babies do.

 

But something happened about 2 months ago and im not sure what it is.

 

We never fought until 7 months in and now we fight over stupid things that dont even matter.

 

We just let that all fly over us and we decided to move into together.

I pay for everything( because her child support still hasent gone through and she just stays at home and takes care of her kid.) She never cleans the apartment and just leaves it dirty then when I get off work I have to clean the whole house and she makes it seem like im weird for just cleaning the house. But I think she is just lazy but she claims its because she never has any energy and has to tend to her child all day.

 

The first 2 weeks of living together were good. We were super intimate and were having sex 2-3 times a day. and kissing all the time and hugging and all that stuff.

 

But we started fighting because I was getting this weird feeling she was cheating on me. So I would bring it up and she would just get pissed off and say I just accuse of everything and make her seem like a slut but im not getting these feelings for no reason eventhough i tend to over think things alot.

 

But everytime we fight she just goes and stays at her moms.

and now she isnt even kissing me, touching me, telling me she loves me alot, just showing the affection two people would give when they are in love.

She claims its because she has been sick with a cold and she needs her "personal space" Which i understand but you would think if she loved me she would still want to show me that she loves me.

 

She makes up excuses whenever i say i wanna have sex or kiss or just cuddle with her.

 

I do everything for this girl and I have been with her and helping her through a huge life change because of her kid.

Im just starting to get the hunch she is talking and seeing someone else and just using me for the apartment and the fact I do everything and drive her everywhere whenever she needs me to.

 

Whenever she goes and stays at her moms she gets all pretty and dresses to impress but she never does that with me since she has been living with me.

all she does is put on sweats and a t shirt.

I already asked her why she has to get dressed up when she leaves and not when she is with me and she said she just thinks its because she is comfortable.

But any and everytime i just try and tell her im unhappy because i feel like im losing her she just tells me to calm down and gets mad and says im "too emotional" which is not true im just trying to express my feelings and what upsets me.

 

She told me its hard to even talk to me because we just fight and i have already told her if this isnt what she wants she needs to move back to her moms and just do her own thing and not waste my time but she just ignores that because i dont think she can go back over and she needs me in her life in order to have her own space and be able to take care of her kid.

 

Im just looking for someones opinion on this.

 

Im not sure if she is cheating.

Im just over thinking things and just not trusting her and thinking of the worst.

Maybe she is just using me for my money and the fact i will go out of my way and take her to the appointments and whatever else.

Or she is just sick and needs space and doesnt want to be touched or kissed for awhile.

 

Idk But please give me your opinions i need them.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Well, based on what you have said here, it's possible she is interested in someone else. Of course it is based on what you say here.

 

You both are very young and this relationship went very fast. It is possible that it would have naturally ended but you moved in together and you have become a pseudo father of her child.

 

So assume the best, but prepare for the worst.

 

If you are going to have a successful relationship you will need to work on your communication (both of you). You need to have open and honest discussion about how things are going.

 

You also need to set agreements for what you expect each person to be responsible for. I do remember talking a while to get my rhythm with taking care of a baby and housework, mostly I think I was depressed. So it's possible she is having those feelings. However there is a point where you can expect she will be picking up and taking on more.

 

So have you asked her straight out if she is happy and if she wants to stay with you? Have you mentioned that she is being distant and not affectionate and it makes you wonder if she has lost interest in your relationship?

 

In the prepare for the worst side, have you looked for other suspicious activity? Lots of text messages or her hiding her cell phone? Are you able to reach her while you are at work? You mentioned she dresses up to go to her mothers house. Have you ever gone over there to see her unannounced? Usually when people suspect, they end up being right.

 

There is the possibility she is using you, she does have a sweet deal.

 

But your suspicions alone don't say affair or no affair ... I think you need to dig a little more.

[Keenly]

Getting dressed up to go to her moms is a huge red flag. Get away from this woman.

 

Also being a lazy bum is bad.

[jaydow37]

Well, based on what you have said here, it's possible she is interested in someone else. Of course it is based on what you say here.

 

You both are very young and this relationship went very fast. It is possible that it would have naturally ended but you moved in together and you have become a pseudo father of her child.

 

So assume the best, but prepare for the worst.

 

If you are going to have a successful relationship you will need to work on your communication (both of you). You need to have open and honest discussion about how things are going.

 

You also need to set agreements for what you expect each person to be responsible for. I do remember talking a while to get my rhythm with taking care of a baby and housework, mostly I think I was depressed. So it's possible she is having those feelings. However there is a point where you can expect she will be picking up and taking on more.

 

So have you asked her straight out if she is happy and if she wants to stay with you? Have you mentioned that she is being distant and not affectionate and it makes you wonder if she has lost interest in your relationship?

 

In the prepare for the worst side, have you looked for other suspicious activity? Lots of text messages or her hiding her cell phone? Are you able to reach her while you are at work? You mentioned she dresses up to go to her mothers house. Have you ever gone over there to see her unannounced? Usually when people suspect, they end up being right.

 

There is the possibility she is using you, she does have a sweet deal.

 

But your suspicions alone don't say affair or no affair ... I think you need to dig a little more.

 

 

I have talked to her. She has told me she is not happy either but wants to be together. She just tells me to calm down and says she is just sick and needs her personal space. and the personal space thing comes and goes she told me and she said it wont always be like this. But she has told me she wants to move to a bigger city with me. And gets mad when im not home?

And yes I am more than positive she deletes texts and phone conversations and when we are at home she has her cellphone under her pillow and when she goes to the bathroom she takes it with her.

I tested it out the other day to see if she was at her moms really cause her son needed his medicine so i drove to her moms around 7pm and dropped it off. Im just not sure if my suspicions are just me over thinking or my gut feeling is telling me something every time.

[Chi townD]

Well, I was going to tell you that you might be overreacting until I read your post about her guarding her phone and hiding under her pillow. That tells me she's hiding something.

 

One thing you can do is find out what she's been texting. If she has an iphone and if she ever used the home computer to charge it up; then, chances are the computer and the phone sync'd up.

 

So! now there is a hidden file on your computer that contains the text conversations from that phone. What you need to do is download an iphone file extractor so you can pull up that file and view the texts.

 

If she's on your cell plan and if the phone has GPS capabilities, then you can contact your provider and have them turn on that function for you. Therefore, you can track her movements. And perhaps on day you'll see the location of the phone at an apartment complex or house that you've never seen before.

[CrazyConcept]

Really, all that we need to know about this girl can be summed up in those two bits:

 

my girlfrend is 18.

 

She was 6 months pregnant with a guy who she was not with or had no interest in.

 

Jesus... RUN!