Pierre Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I will not tell her. I'm bitter because he chose her over me, yes, and I'd love nothing more for them to fall apart. But even though she means nothing to me, doesn't mean she means nothing to him...clearly that's far from the truth. I hope she finds out, but it won't be from me. I'm done with him, with her, with all of this. The truth of the matter is that you remain faithful to this guy and it is your duty to keep the secret. By being faithful you maintain the hope that he will come back to you if they break up. However, if open your mouth OM will hate you, throw you under the bus, and you will then lose your last hope. By not telling you still maintain a bit of hope. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mittens354 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 The truth of the matter is that you remain faithful to this guy and it is your duty to keep the secret. By being faithful you maintain the hope that he will come back to you if they break up. However, if open your mouth OM will hate you, throw you under the bus, and you will then lose your last hope. By not telling you still maintain a bit of hope. You make it sound so simplistic. Like the two of us exist in a vacuum. Him and I, we share a group of very close friends - these people are going to be in my life forever and I am NOT willing to jeopardize that. Remaining "loyal" and not wanting to harbor the crap that comes from me telling her are two VERY different things. Why am I suddenly bestowed with the responsibility of having to tell her?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mittens354 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 Those words cannot be truer. The more you stick to NC and move forward, the quicker it will fade. I'm not saying to go see the first guy that crosses your path (that will come at a later time), but keep yourself occupied and healthy I get it mittens. Your afraid to tell her because your afraid I'm right. That he'll hate you. I'll tell her. What's her name?? People are blind sided with their spouses affairs all the time. she most likely doesn't know. I feel bad for your broken heart and you are doing the right thing by ending it. Go total NC until your feelings are gone. They will fade in time, I promise you. Good luck honey! You deserve a man that will choose YOU over anything! Thank you for the encouragement. Thing is, I know the feelings will fade...and they have...I've cut him out with NC before. But a year of NC didn't necessarily do much the last time around...seeing him put me back in square one - hopefully it's different this time around. I think him getting married soon will solidify my decision more concretely in my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Thank you for the encouragement. Thing is, I know the feelings will fade...and they have...I've cut him out with NC before. But a year of NC didn't necessarily do much the last time around...seeing him put me back in square one - hopefully it's different this time around. I think him getting married soon will solidify my decision more concretely in my mind. With some people NC is for life. Temporary NC does not always work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mittens354 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 With some people NC is for life. Temporary NC does not always work. so i'm beginning to realize Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 so i'm beginning to realize 20 years may go by. Then you glance at this person one and you are hooked again. Link to post Share on other sites
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