RedRobin Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 On another thread, the topic came up about some men saying just about anything to get laid and some women playing along. You know, it never occurred to me to do that. Most of the time because I really can't refrain from the urge to do at least an internal eye roll when some guys claim to be looking for a relationship... when it is obvious that is just baloney he tells women. I thought... what if I pretend I'm believing it and play along, even for a little while? Never tried that before. I know me... the couple of times I had sex outside of a pre-established relationship, sex got boring for me fast.. No matter how great his technique, how buff he was, how nice he was, or anything... The emotional connection has to be there for me in advance, or it just doesn't happen. Have other women here done this? Just pretend you believe the guy is looking for a relationship, then dump him after sex or just not care what happens? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 If I've had sex outside of a relationship, I knew full well ahead of time what the deal was, so there weren't any lies or manipulation. I've received lots of BS otherwise, who hasn't. Yes you discover it sometimes too late. I prefer not to play along and I'm not into the having sex with someone and dumping them on purpose mentality. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrTurk Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I'm not a lady....but this topic reminds me of a scene in the movie "Let It Ride". Guy...."May I buy you a drink" Women...."I dont see why not, I'm on the pill" You could just bypass the BS . . .and get to the nitty gritty lol Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I've played along if where they're going is where I want to go. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I think a woman's own ideals and fantasies as well as insecurities play far more into the "game" than what a man says and does. Let's be realistic, most guys are pretty full of shet and it doesn't take too long to see through the thinly veiled BS that doesn't quite "add up"...it's not rocket science here, it's really the potential and self-manipulation that a woman does to ignore those signs of when he says he wants a relationship but she doesn't actually trust him...for good reason, but she does it anyway and chalks it up to paranoia/over-thinking, whatever it takes to keep the blinders on so she can continue moving on and "seeing where it goes". So it's not that women are essentially believing what the guy is doing or saying as much as they're trying to believe that something will "hopefully" come out of it to their liking...If that doesn't progress to a relationship or what not, then that's just the "chance" you take, you try to live in the moment and all of that and enjoy it to a degree. They're still OK with it not going anywhere or just ending up to casual sex and of course If the woman is after just the sex then she just lets the idiot run his mouth while he could be getting some without all of the "game" that he thinks he's playing to successful land her in bed. Men actually think that they're making the decisions and calling the shots. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted July 22, 2013 Author Share Posted July 22, 2013 If I've had sex outside of a relationship, I knew full well ahead of time what the deal was, so there weren't any lies or manipulation. I've received lots of BS otherwise, who hasn't. Yes you discover it sometimes too late. I prefer not to play along and I'm not into the having sex with someone and dumping them on purpose mentality. Me either... except that the couple of times I had sex outside of an established relationship, that is exactly what happened. It wasn't like I did it on purpose. It was more like I couldn't imagine having emotional intimacy develop that way... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I've played along if where they're going is where I want to go. On a magic carpet ride? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 On a magic carpet ride? ::sings:: A whoollle neewwww wooooorld.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MrTurk Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I had sex and then it turned into a relationship 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 On a magic carpet ride? A? More like multiples or go home! Btw, I've never had sex outside of a relationship. But that doesn't mean that men within relationships can't be full of it either. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Me either... except that the couple of times I had sex outside of an established relationship, that is exactly what happened. It wasn't like I did it on purpose. It was more like I couldn't imagine having emotional intimacy develop that way... Oh, sorry I misunderstood. Yes, totally get what you're saying... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crude Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I don't think women get fooled as often as people think. They know full well what the man wants, and they want it too, but don't have the guts to admit it, so they play the part of the victim. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 They're still OK with it not going anywhere or just ending up to casual sex and of course If the woman is after just the sex then she just lets the idiot run his mouth while he could be getting some without all of the "game" that he thinks he's playing to successful land her in bed. Men actually think that they're making the decisions and calling the shots. In some parts of the world, that is called flirting. For me, it never goes anywhere because I can talk a line myself (despite what I show here on LS), and besides, it's all in good fun as long as the clothes stay on. I dunno. There is something about me that probably would have a hard time letting a guy even think for two seconds I didn't know what was up. It's too bad Mr. Sexy Talk was such a stalker and a jerk. Boy, he was hot. The Boston Marathon/Ironman guy was too. His bod was just like Ryan Gosling. I just couldn't do it though. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 In a reasonable postmodern, post sex roles world, people would approach each other directly with whatever proposition, having sex or watching a movie. It's not any proclivity of men towards "BS" that has prevented this no nonsense proposition reality from emerging, but women's expectations of some inherent courtship display whenever they are approached sexually, and the archaic hogwash that a man proposing sex is taking something from a woman, -owes- something else to a female sexual prospect in accordance with whatever she is seeking in trade for sex, attention, a relationship, etc. And yes, there is a word for "trading something for sex," we all know it, and that word does not necessarily entail trading actual money. IMO and IME, a VAST majority of men would prefer a more direct and straightforward social dynamic where seeking and obtaining sex is concerned, so let's not lay the blame for why we don't have that now on male "BS." Link to post Share on other sites
MrTurk Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 (edited) I don't think women get fooled as often as people think. They know full well what the man wants, and they want it too, but don't have the guts to admit it, so they play the part of the victim. I agree. And then when it doesnt turn out the way they want...they go crying to their girlfriends....knowing full well they will get all the support they need no matter what the situation is, because her friends will instantly blame that mean, cruel man for doing such bad things to her. Edited July 23, 2013 by MrTurk 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 In a reasonable postmodern, post sex roles world, people would approach each other directly with whatever proposition, having sex or watching a movie. It's not any proclivity of men towards "BS" that has prevented this no nonsense proposition reality from emerging, but women's expectations of some inherent courtship display whenever they are approached sexually, and the archaic hogwash that a man proposing sex is taking something from a woman, -owes- something else to a female sexual prospect in accordance with whatever she is seeking in trade for sex, attention, a relationship, etc. And yes, there is a word for "trading something for sex," we all know it, and that word does not necessarily entail trading actual money. IMO and IME, a VAST majority of men would prefer a more direct and straightforward social dynamic where seeking and obtaining sex is concerned, so let's not lay the blame for why we don't have that now on male "BS." Ok... but there really are people who cannot establish emotional intimacy after the fact... I don't seem to be able to... If sex happens early, I'm dumping him. Sorry. Part of me wishes that wasn't the case so I can get with the times and all.... another part of me is very glad I'm this way. I mean, men have something to gain by playing this charade as well. Some claim to want a relationship so that they get to choose how to treat a woman after the fact. As long as they leave the appearance of having noble intentions, then they at least have a shot at the women who tend to be more selective and perhaps more likely to bond with them after the fact. So yea, at least half of it is BS of their design and it serves them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 A? More like multiples or go home! Btw, I've never had sex outside of a relationship. But that doesn't mean that men within relationships can't be full of it either. That's true. How soon I forget?? Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I have done it. More than once too 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 I have done it. More than once too Ok... tell me you wouldn't do a guy who looked like this... Seriously. Even if you knew it would only last a couple of weeks... and he's totally full of cr*p. I still have his phone number too. (Not Ryan's... but his look-alike) Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Boy, he was hot. The Boston Marathon/Ironman guy was too. His bod was just like Ryan Gosling. I just couldn't do it though. Priorities, priorities... Sometimes it's a struggle keeping those electric zap tingles in check hmm? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 (edited) Priorities, priorities... Sometimes it's a struggle keeping those electric zap tingles in check hmm? Ha ha. Exactly.... Even when I was just thinking about dialing him I remembered... This was the guy I recently dumped who had the long running FWB with another woman and he tried to convince me he wanted a relationship with me, but there was no way I was buying it. Of course I didn't sleep with him. Man, was he pissed. His true colors came out after that. Ok, never mind. Answer is no. *sigh*... why can't I just mindlessly screw hot jerks?? why, oh why?? Edited July 23, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Ha ha. Exactly.... Even when I was just thinking about dialing him I remembered... This was the guy I recently dumped who had the long running FWB and he tried to convince me he wanted a relationship with me, but there was no way I was buying it. Sounds like he muddied the waters and made it 'icky'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Sounds like he muddied the waters and made it 'icky'. There was lots of muddy water with that one... It is rare for me to go totally NC on someone... him and Mr. Sexy Talk earned it though. Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 There was lots of muddy water with that one... It is rare for me to go totally NC on someone... him and Mr. Sexy Talk earned it though. We've all played the scene in The Crying Game at one point or another. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I can't imagine actually wanting to be sexual with someone who is full of crap 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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