For the ladies: Pretending to believe the BS

July 23, 2013

It's important to be careful about language here, and I agree with you that lying and misrepresenting oneself is wrong. But the history of seduction and relations between men and women creates a big gray swath between manipulative dishonesty and manipulative seduction. We have a long long history of what I'll call "harmless insincerity in persuasion and reaction" associated with seduction conducted by both men and women. One slang term for it is "slap and tickle." Not sure that is such a bad or even really dishonest thing. We hear the desire for more romance, and romance in its emotional basis, is not usually on the firmest rational, purely sincere grounds.

Yea, I get that. I'm not a fan of romance for the sake of romance. That feels just as fake and premature.

July 23, 2013

Yes I can, because there is no difference between a genuine 'nice' guy and any other guy if they are both strangers. How much I may 'like' him in that moment is irrelevant. That is just tricks one's mind plays...oh, and hormones of course. Let's not forget those.

If he's sleeping with me (a near stranger) then I have my doubts about his intentions... by default. It is just that men have less to lose by sleeping with strange women... and he's proving just how little he has to lose by doing so.

There is just no unwinding that ball of yarn after the fact. It's just over.

So him sleeping with you is a problem, but you're not at fault for doing the same exact thing. Gotcha.

July 23, 2013

I'm trying to convince myself I could. Maybe.

It's possible you could, I think so personally. However, what you understand is that this would change things tremendously if that's the case. Because you could no longer hold yourself so steadfastly to your own standards for relationships. It may be better to stick it out if that's the case.

You will end up like us - accepting temporary arrangements while searching for the right one.

July 23, 2013

I'm not sure why people are refusing to get a grasp of the situation here.

She's obviously tired of trying to invest with men and determining that they don't meet her expectations or standards, because often enough people do not have any.

Of course she has a right to feel a bit cautious and weary of the reality, based on the behavior that people exude in the past, more relevantly the recent past. She obviously doesn't want to be hurt, lied to or manipulated by someone portraying to have genuine feelings when they really do not and just trying to develop romance and intimacy, she feels cheated when a man tries to jump from A to R in a mere several dates or so, claiming he feels this or that...knowing that this is the nature of many men, maybe even many people.

Many people live their lives without any expectations or examples or standards of what they're trying to achieve, it's just this reckless-free-flowing experimental process where they are trying to figure themselves out as they go with no strong indication of direction...so they just go along the way picking up bits of knowledge as they go and figuring out "Ok this works for me, and this doesn't"...while others, maybe even less have a pretty obvious and distinct expectation of what they're looking for and what they desire for true compatibility...or at least that is the notion or expectation of it.

As for my opinion..

It seems however that RR has obviously been affected or impacted by an experience that has wounded her deeply or affected her traumatically/psychologically that gives her an innate fear of being taken advantage of...and if she doesn't read the signs right away or judge his character quick enough then she's going to be left manipulated and maybe even feeling like a fool...it's an internal as well as external power struggle, a struggle to main control and seek transparency...which in today's dating world it's advised to have.

However there's also a balance that has to be achieved...if you are too scared, too cautious, too defensive then the gates are locked too tightly that nothing comes in...and in that regard it's very hard to actual feel the experience and exchange these genuine emotions...that's why when intimacy takes place there is still a large wall up, maybe even more so because now there is more at stake...it's a level of anxiety and paranoia at that stage that shuts down the emotions completely...it's like being numb, because the end of your nerves are shut down.

I don't think she's trying to create a double-standard, if anything she's feeling swayed by the fact that she may have to give in sometimes to situations she is not comfortable with in order to satiate the status quo...much like a virgin considers giving up it up to men who complain something is wrong with her for not satisfying them...but both parties are left unsatisfied, and it feels like the experience was for nothing and that maybe if you cross that line that you previously set for yourself..maybe things will be better, maybe things will go more smoothly and in turn be more satisfying.

But I don't really think this about other men with RR at the end of the day, this is the issue within herself....she should be focused internally of why she's so protective and defensive towards men and anyone who tries to encroach on her sacred ground...It's one thing to have these expectations and qualities but when it reflects outwards and starts to have a negative impact on your own interactions and relationships, there's something deeper within that is causing your reaction to be that way in the first place...and these men are just really an external source that is bringing that out of you but will also be reflective in other dynamics in your life.

RedRobin if you want something real and genuine, how can you achieve that when you don't even trust yourself to know what that is when you're feeling it? You might think it's going to take the right guy one day to come along to do that for you, but what if the right guy can't penetrate those thick walls and never has a chance?

July 23, 2013

I don't think women get fooled as often as people think. They know full well what the man wants, and they want it too, but don't have the guts to admit it, so they play the part of the victim.

This seems like it should make sense, but the only times I have ever gotten my heart broken were when I thought I was the one who didn't want a relationship. I can pick up on BS pretty well until I start BSing myself.

July 23, 2013

Im a guy met a girl at the gym scenario played out like this.

Im kinda shy took me months to say hello.

Next few days she gave me the cold treatment

I lost interest.

Then she started flirting and saying hello.

We chatted i asked her about what she does outside

The gym tells me she works school and homework.

Then more cold

Then bumped into her at walmart

Seen her at the gym more

Her personality seemed like a real snottie beetch. I just

Friendzoned her no big deal.

She tried to get outta the friendzone waving her butt

Around me teasing me.

story ended i finally had enough of her weird games. I said

One night i understand your buzy in school to be a doctor and

Im a fing loser have a good nite.....

July 23, 2013

If he's sleeping with me (a near stranger) then I have my doubts about his intentions... by default.

So let me get this straight. If a guy says he is looking for a relationship and sleeps with you, then his intentions are bad, and if he dumps you afterwards, he's a scumbag.

But it's ok for you to do the exact same???

Do you somehow think that if you sleep with HIM based on the exact same set of circumstances, your intentions are pure, and if you dump him afterwards, that's perfectly fine because he's a man and therefore either has no feelings or his feelings don't matter?

Yes I can, because there is no difference between a genuine 'nice' guy and any other guy if they are both strangers.

Uh, the differences is the first one (nice guy) is actually considerate of your feelings, whereas the second one (the jerk) just wants to get you laid and doesn't care about anything else. But of course, little does the nice guy know that you don't care an iota about hisfeelings, and the minute he sleeps with you, you're going to dump him and move on to the next guy!

To make it worse, you're dishonest about it, and don't even bother telling him upfront so that he can be considerate (nice guy, remember) and take a different course of action, knowing your preferences. He simply gets punished for a mistake he had absolutely no way of knowing he was making.

July 23, 2013

She obviously doesn't want to be hurt, lied to or manipulated by someone portraying to have genuine feelings when they really do not and just trying to develop romance and intimacy, she feels cheated when a man tries to jump from A to R in a mere several dates or so, claiming he feels this or that...knowing that this is the nature of many men, maybe even many people.

All perfectly reasonable, except that it doesn't excuse treating a guy badly (pretending you're reciprocating interest in sex, then dumping him straight away afterwards) on the assumption that he is manipulating her. Not all men are lying and manipulating just because they show interest in a relationship at an early stage!

July 23, 2013

Yes, and that is what lots of guys count on.

I have tossed away guys who seemed 'great' for me when sex happened early.

I'm confused, and it seems like you're contradicting yourself a lot here.

You "toss away" guys after having sex early.

But … isn't that what you're always complaining that guys do, or want to do, with you? Toss you away after having sex early?

Which is it?

Also, just in case you'd like to consider this: a guy who says he's looking for a relationship, and then you have sex (or go on 100 dates, or whatever) and you DON'T end up having a relationship - does not equal "he was full of bs."

Maybe he just felt that you weren't the right person to go any further with.

That's what we are supposed to be doing in dating. Learning whether we want to go further with somebody, or not. Whether we have sex, or when, might not influence that decision at all.

Edited July 23, 2013 by Mme. Chaucer

July 23, 2013

You "toss away" guys after having sex early. But … isn't that what you're always complaining that guys do, or want to do, with you? Toss you away after having sex early?

Exactly. You said what I was trying to say but in fewer words. Thank you .

The decent thing to do in her situation is to say to the guy something like, "we've only known each other a short while, and it's great that you're interested in pursuing a relationship with me, but I'm just not comfortable having sex so early, and in fact doing so is a turn off for me. I would like to get to know you better first". That will weed out the manipulators from the genuine ones, and nobody goes away with hurt feelings.

July 23, 2013

I know me... the couple of times I had sex outside of a pre-established relationship, sex got boring for me fast.. No matter how great his technique, how buff he was, how nice he was, or anything... The emotional connection has to be there for me in advance, or it just doesn't happen.

Wait a sec... you have had casual sex ?? :lmao::lmao:

Wow lady... now I really have to laugh with you!! How hypocrite someone can be.... I am tired to read you saying "I would not date guys who have had casual sex" and then you have had casual sex? You crack me up!!! :lmao:

July 23, 2013

So him sleeping with you is a problem, but you're not at fault for doing the same exact thing. Gotcha.

Only if he insists on sex happening early.

Not saying I'm not at 'fault'. I'm just saying it is going nowhere no matter what he says after the fact.

July 23, 2013

Wait a sec... you have had casual sex ?? :lmao::lmao:

Wow lady... now I really have to laugh with you!! How hypocrite someone can be.... I am tired to read you saying "I would not date guys who have had casual sex" and then you have had casual sex? You crack me up!!! :lmao:

no... that is not what I said.

I said I had sex before a relationship was established... with two guys who claimed to want a relationship.

It was just that afterwards, I was unable to develop any intimacy no matter what they did. Felt like BS to me.

So, I know this about me... If I have sex early, emotional intimacy will not happen with them...

and the reason I don't like men who make a habit of casual sex is the same reason I haven't (yet).... I doubt their ability to bond through sex.

This thread is about me debating the merits of becoming just like them... or you.

July 23, 2013

This thread is about me debating the merits of becoming just like them... or you.

So what did you think of Ninja's last post?

July 23, 2013

no... that is not what I said.

I said I had sex before a relationship was established... with two guys who claimed to want a relationship.

It was just that afterwards, I was unable to develop any intimacy no matter what they did. Felt like BS to me.

So, I know this about me... If I have sex early, emotional intimacy will not happen with them...

and the reason I don't like men who make a habit of casual sex is the same reason I haven't (yet).... I doubt their ability to bond through sex.

This thread is about me debating the merits of becoming just like them... or you.

Who says there is any merit on it..? I don't know why you think this is a game, or something like this...

I live my life how I chose to live it and I accept the consequences of my choices... you say you can't connect with a guy once you had sex early on with him(that is casual sex by the way... no matter what the guys claimed to want or not... ) well I can't connect with a woman without having had that intimacy early on... I guess we are totally different people with totally different drives... but while I don't think there is any wrong with your choices you have made your target in life (at least in LS) to show the world that my choices in life are wrong... even when they don't have anything to do with you and I am telling you that I am happy with them and many women are happy with them too you seem to think that your way of understanding life is the only correct one...

I do agree with Ninja, someone has done you very wrong and you have decided to think all men in the world are like those who wrong you... I am sorry but we are not all bad people, I try to walk my life having as much fun as possible but without hurting other people as much as I can... Not all men are playing games or trying to deceive you... and if you think that way you will never be able to be happy with any man because you won't be able to trust him ... and that is very sad

July 23, 2013

She's obviously tired of trying to invest with men and determining that they don't meet her expectations or standards, because often enough people do not have any.

Of course she has a right to feel a bit cautious and weary of the reality,
based on the behavior that people exude in the past, more relevantly the recent past. She obviously doesn't want to be hurt, lied to or manipulated by someone portraying to have genuine feelings when they really do not and just trying to develop romance and intimacy, she feels cheated when a man tries to jump from A to R in a mere several dates or so, claiming he feels this or that...knowing that this is the nature of many men, maybe even many people.

Yep, you pegged it.

It seems however that RR has obviously been affected or impacted by an experience that has wounded her deeply or affected her
traumatically/psychologically that gives her an innate fear of being taken
advantage of...and if she doesn't read the signs right away or judge his
character quick enough then she's going to be left manipulated and maybe even feeling like a fool...it's an internal as well as external power struggle, a struggle to main control and seek transparency...which in today's dating world it's advised to have.

Fear of being manipulated? I dunno. Fear of wasting my time, and being associated with a bad sort of person, a disreputable sort of person is more like it.

Because I have something to lose career-wise, and something to lose regarding my standing in the community by making one too many missteps that way. Can't tell you how many close calls I had that way...

... and being at a certain stage of life, it seems more men than ever who claim to want a relationship are really just looking for glorified FWB and to catapult themselves up the dating 'ladder'... boosted perhaps on my good name and credentials. This is what I won't tolerate.

I guess I'm considering doing things differently now, because I've already made the decision to leave this area and so have less to lose. I can do whatever I want, including dumping men after sex just because I feel like it.

RedRobin if you want something real and genuine, how can you achieve that when you don't even trust yourself to know what that is when you're feeling it? You might think it's going to take the right guy one day to come along to do that for you, but what if the right guy can't penetrate those thick walls and never has a chance?

The first step is moving someplace not so grossly overpopulated by losers.

Exactly. You said what I was trying to say but in fewer words. Thank you .

The decent thing to do in her situation is to say to the guy something like, "we've only known each other a short while, and it's great that you're interested in pursuing a relationship with me, but I'm just not comfortable having sex so early, and in fact doing so is a turn off for me. I would like to get to know you better first". That will weed out the manipulators from the genuine ones, and nobody goes away with hurt feelings.

You just described every conversation I've had with men after date 3. Every guy I make it to date 3 with claims to want a relationship with me... but sure as hell isn't doing the actions to prove that.

I can't even begin to tell you the garbage I hear and observe after the fact from guys I've waited out.

So now, I'm tempted to say "FINE!! WHATEVER!!" Just go along with it. If 9/10 are ultimately full of cr*p, then 9/10 shouldn't be too upset when they get a piece of *ss, now should they??

... and the 1/10 who isn't full of it... maybe, just maybe... will learn to exercise some restraint of his own in the future, instead of expecting me to do the heavy lifting.

July 23, 2013

Who says there is any merit on it..? I don't know why you think this is a game, or something like this...

I live my life how I chose to live it and I accept the consequences of my
choices... you say you can't connect with a guy once you had sex early on with him(that is casual sex by the way... no matter what the guys claimed to want or not... )

Oh, well... we agree then. They are full of cr*p then. So, which is it? Are they guys looking for a relationship? Or are they guys having casual sex??

*I* know what the answer is for most of them.

well I can't connect with a woman without having had that intimacy early on...

Define 'connect'... because my shortest relationship (on average) also happens to clock in around your longest. Not saying this to be demeaning... just saying that I've traditionally been looking for something else entirely here.... so you can't blame me for being a little suspicious of what you mean by a 'connection'...

I do agree with Ninja, someone has done you very wrong and you have decided to think all men in the world are like those who wrong you...

Meh, I'm not a fan of those who claim I must have been 'dun wrong or else I'd be ok flopping into bed with strangers and calling that intimacy. If anything, you should be happy that I'm considering taking a page out of your notebook.

Not all men are playing games or trying to deceive you...

Of course not... most are not thinking about much of anything except what they want in that moment. I think you'd be the first to admit that.

July 23, 2013

Oh, well... we agree then. They are full of cr*p then. So, which is it? Are they guys looking for a relationship? Or are they guys having casual sex??

*I* know what the answer is for most of them.

Define 'connect'... because my shortest relationship (on average) also happens to clock in around your longest. Not saying this to be demeaning... just saying that I've traditionally been looking for something else entirely here.... so you can't blame me for being a little suspicious of what you mean by a 'connection'...

Meh, I'm not a fan of those who claim I must have been 'dun wrong or else I'd be ok flopping into bed with strangers and calling that intimacy. If anything, you should be happy that I'm considering taking a page out of your notebook.

Of course not... most are not thinking about much of anything except what they want in that moment. I think you'd be the first to admit that.

One question? Why would you consider dating men? If I would hate and disrespect something as much as you hate and disrespect men I would not want that any close to me....

People don't think that someone has wrong you because you don't think than sex with someone without love is intimacy ... but for the negative way you talk about men in general and for your totally incapacity to try to understand that men are individuals and should not be judged by the mistakes others make... I don't need you to take or not any page of my notebook.... I don't keep a record of the women I have slept with... and I don't think it is something to be proud or not ... I have sex with women because I am physically attracted to them and they are physically attracted to me... we both enjoy the ride and have fun with it...out of those women some happen to connect with me to a different level further than sex and I move forward from there...

Yes my longest relationship has been 1.5 years only... but it happens to be half o the time I have been open for a relationship... during 10 years of my life I was in no situation to be in a relationship so 1.5 years is for me a good achievement (so far) and guess what ... I would still be in that relationship if she would have not turned into a resented monster who could not live with the truth about my life (even when I was totally upfront with her from the very first moment).

I am still only 30 years old and I have all the time of the world to enjoy in a single monogamous relationship with the right woman at the right time... when that woman arrives to my live I will have no problems living just for her

July 23, 2013

... and I'm thinking back to one of the guys I dumped that way.

He says "But you told me you were looking for a committed relationship" I was. I just didn't trust him. The intimacy just wasn't there.

What prompted me dumping him was his desire to go to a wine tasting Meetup without me. I didn't ask any questions about why. I didn't sit him down for an 'exclusivity' discussion. I just dumped him.

Then not long after, he lamented in an email how he lost a 'relationship' with another woman prior to meeting me simply because he wanted to see other women. This wasn't something he afforded me, apparently... the opportunity to choose if I wanted to go along with that. He just did it. Or tried to. Ok. Nice try.

Someone told him (I guess) that is what people do these days. Plenty of people on LS seem to think that is how it goes too. Everyone is sleeping with everyone else or trying to until you have the 'exclusive' talk.

And this was something he said after the fact... and all I could think of was what a relief that I'd dumped him when I did.

Fact is, he was 'romancing' me hard... was poised to take me on a weekend getaway to a local island. He was a pilot. Had his own plane. No, he wasn't BSing about that. I'd been up in his plane already and I have other friends who are pilots... They knew each other.

Had lots of fabulous things to say about me (before I broke up with him)... yet couldn't help but lament my perceived unwillingness to allow him to formally or informally continue to date around simply because we had sex early.

Taught me an important lesson about dating these days.

So yea, if sex happens early, he's dumped. Sorry.

Edited July 23, 2013 by RedRobin

July 23, 2013

... and I'm thinking back to one of the guys I dumped that way.

He says "But you told me you were looking for a committed relationship" I was. I just didn't trust him. The intimacy just wasn't there.

What prompted me dumping him was his desire to go to a wine tasting Meetup without me. I didn't ask any questions about why. I didn't sit him down for an 'exclusivity' discussion. I just dumped him.

Then not long after, he lamented in an email how he lost a 'relationship' with another woman prior to meeting me simply because he wanted to see other women. This wasn't something he afforded me, apparently... the opportunity to choose if I wanted to go along with that. He just did it. Or tried to. Ok. Nice try.

Someone told him (I guess) that is what people do these days. Plenty of people on LS seem to think that is how it goes too. Everyone is sleeping with everyone else or trying to until you have the 'exclusive' talk.

And this was something he said after the fact... and all I could think of was what a relief that I'd dumped him when I did.

Fact is, he was 'romancing' me hard... was poised to take me on a weekend getaway to a local island. He was a pilot. Had his own plane. Had lots of fabulous things to say about me (before I broke up with him)... yet couldn't help but lament my perceived unwillingness to allow him to formally or informally continue to date around simply because we had sex early.

Taught me an important lesson about dating these days.

So yea, if sex happens early, he's dumped. Sorry.

And yet you're the one sleeping with him, yet you blame him and take none of it.

July 23, 2013

... and I'm thinking back to one of the guys I dumped that way.

He says "But you told me you were looking for a committed relationship" I was. I just didn't trust him. The intimacy just wasn't there.

What prompted me dumping him was his desire to go to a wine tasting Meetup without me. I didn't ask any questions about why. I didn't sit him down for an 'exclusivity' discussion. I just dumped him.

Then not long after, he lamented in an email how he lost a 'relationship' with another woman prior to meeting me simply because he wanted to see other women. This wasn't something he afforded me, apparently... the opportunity to choose if I wanted to go along with that. He just did it. Or tried to. Ok. Nice try.

Someone told him (I guess) that is what people do these days. Plenty of people on LS seem to think that is how it goes too. Everyone is sleeping with everyone else or trying to until you have the 'exclusive' talk.

And this was something he said after the fact... and all I could think of was what a relief that I'd dumped him when I did.

Fact is, he was 'romancing' me hard... was poised to take me on a weekend getaway to a local island. He was a pilot. Had his own plane. No, he wasn't BSing about that. I'd been up in his plane already and I have other friends who are pilots... They knew each other.

Had lots of fabulous things to say about me (before I broke up with him)... yet couldn't help but lament my perceived unwillingness to allow him to formally or informally continue to date around simply because we had sex early.

Taught me an important lesson about dating these days.

So yea, if sex happens early, he's dumped. Sorry.

How hypocrite is that.... you are also having sex early with him... right? I am not telling you that you should or not dump people based in the criteria that you want but what you are saying is kind of the same when a guy have sex with a woman and dump her... just the guy would be a horrible deceiving person who took profit on the trusting poor woman and you see yourself as a person who can read the intentions of others by doing the same that you just did :lmao:

RR... you really need to find someone who rocks your world... too much drama in your life

Have you thought about dating women?

July 23, 2013

One question? Why would you consider dating men? If I would hate and disrespect something as much as you hate and disrespect men I would not want that any close to me....
People don't think that someone has wrong you because you don't think than sex with someone without love is intimacy ... but for the negative way you talk about men in general and for your totally incapacity to try to understand that men are individuals and should not be judged by the mistakes others make... I don't need you to take or not any page of my notebook.... I don't keep a record of the women I have slept with... and I don't think it is something to be proud or not ... I have sex with women because I am physically attracted to them and they are physically attracted to me... we both enjoy the ride and have fun with it...out of those women some happen to connect with me to a different level further than sex and I move forward from there...
Yes my longest relationship has been 1.5 years only... but it happens to be half o the time I have been open for a relationship... during 10 years of my life I was in no situation to be in a relationship so 1.5 years is for me a good achievement (so far) and guess what ... I would still be in that relationship if she would have not turned into a resented monster who could not live with the truth about my life (even when I was totally upfront with her from the very first moment).

I am still only 30 years old and I have all the time of the world to enjoy in a single monogamous relationship with the right woman at the right time... when that woman arrives to my live I will have no problems living just for her

I'm very sorry for your pain.

yes, you do have all the time in the world to find the right person for you. I sincerely do wish you the best...

However, if we crossed paths and we were both physically attracted to each other and felt the need to sleep together right away, I'm afraid I'd be ending it shortly afterward regardless.

It isn't 'hate' that keeps me from doing things your way. Just as you claim it isn't 'hate' that makes you uninterested or unable to develop intimacy the way I do.

it just is.

July 23, 2013

I'm very sorry for your pain.

yes, you do have all the time in the world to find the right person for you. I sincerely do wish you the best...

However, if we crossed paths and we were both physically attracted to each other and felt the need to sleep together right away, I'm afraid I'd be ending it shortly afterward regardless.

It isn't 'hate' that keeps me from doing things your way. Just as you claim it isn't 'hate' that makes you uninterested or unable to develop intimacy the way I do.

it just is.

And that is completely fine! I have no problems with you not wanting a relationship with someone who has sex early on ... but I want to point out that you use those men... you have sex with them when you know they would want something more and then you dump them.... you are no better than those men who use women and dump them once they got what they wanted from them....

I have not a huge problem with women dumping me after sex... I take time to develop feelings for other person... it wont happen from today to tomorrow ... but once I develop feelings for someone I am the most loyal person you can imagine ... not only for the women I date but also for my friends.

July 23, 2013

And yet you're the one sleeping with him, yet you blame him and take none of it.

I wasn't the one trying to line up dates without telling him.

'blame'?? what blame is that? I turned down the offer of getting jetted off to a local island on a private plane.

Guess I'm just saying that there is something to be gained by me pretending to believe his BS. The sex was great. The island probably would have been fun.

... but I knew it was going nowhere because none of that made a dent in my psyche. Because, while the emotional walls were only in my head.... his emotional walls were getting played out by continuing to try and see other women while having sex with me... as lots of men do or try. Especially when sex happens early.

So, really what you are objecting to is what?? That you (men) are allowed to have emotional walls that impact women, as long as you are getting sex while that happens. But women should tolerate that without dumping you? Even better, I'm supposed to believe these men care about me when they don't even know me???

Or that they even care about getting to know me? If they did, they wouldn't be so hell bent on trying to get me into bed ASAP.

So, naah... not buying it.

July 23, 2013

I wasn't the one trying to line up dates without telling him.

'blame'?? what blame is that? I turned down the offer of getting jetted off to a local island on a private plane.

Guess I'm just saying that there is something to be gained by me pretending to believe his BS. The sex was great. The island probably would have been fun.

... but I knew it was going nowhere because none of that made a dent in my psyche. Because, while the emotional walls were only in my head.... his emotional walls were getting played out by continuing to try and see other women while having sex with me... as lots of men do or try. Especially when sex happens early.

So, really what you are objecting to is what?? That you (men) are allowed to have emotional walls that impact women, as long as you are getting sex while that happens. But women should tolerate that without dumping you? Even better, I'm supposed to believe these men care about me when they don't even know me???

Or that they even care about getting to know me? If they did, they wouldn't be so hell bent on trying to get me into bed ASAP.

So, naah... not buying it.

But then you have a legitimate reason why dumping him... you can of course not be happy with the guy who is dating you having sex with other women... (I do think you should be open about it but it is my point of view)...

Other thing is to say that you dump men just because you had sex with them early on...

It is not only hypocrite because you also had sex early on ... not only him ... but also is using someone for sex and disposing him after make him believe you were interested in something more... That puts you at the same level than those guys who lie to a woman to have sex with her and then dump them... I hope you realize that

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For the ladies: Pretending to believe the BS

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