Is this a break? Why would she leave me?

[nycstudent]

Hi everyone,

 

I've been browsing forums for basically the last month and a half since my ex gf dumped me. Everyone seems to give good responses here and it seems like the best forum I've seen so far. Good job. So anyway, here's my story, can anyone give me any advice. My ex and I had been together for two years. This was my first relationship. I'm 23, she's 22. I went to the same college as her and we met through a mutal friend. When we started going out we really dove in quite quickly. We slept over every night except when we were on holiday breaks and over the first summer being together. The second summer we were together I lived with her at college. This fall I moved to law school about 2 hours away and we planned on staying together though never talked about it. Our relationship was very comfortable, we got along perfectly, agreed on just about everything, had fun, were constantly around each other and never fought.

 

She helped me move in and came to visit the first weekend I was up here. She left then visited again two weeks later and after about 20 minutes of being here she started crying and talking about how she has to apply to graduate school and is very confused about that, and how all her friends are moving and that basically, she isn't sure she loves me enough to marry me anymore. She thought we would get married, but then she would think well, maybe we won't and if I'm not going to marry him then why do I stay with him? So she said we needed to take a break. She really hasn't been single ever, but I'm not sure she'll even stay single too long as she tends to get dumped and move on. I'm the first person she's broken up with, and also the first boyfriends she's had that's treated her right. This being my first relationship I predictably begged and pleaded with her for about the first two weeks. Then I sent her an email saying that I wanted to stay friends but that I don't need her anymore and that I'm doing well and I'm happier now than I have ever been. I really want her back though, but I also sent her another email which part of it said that if we ever did get back together I realize that it would probably have to start all over again. She really is the only girl I've ever met that I honestly would have married had she asked. And I was only waiting until we were both more stable like started actually working and get out of school and stuff to propose.

 

I realize that begging and pleading won't work, is there anything that has a chance of working, or should I just let go and hope she realizes what a mistake she's making. I've even been on like those relationship web sites with the stupid quizzes women take to find out if "he's the one" and I fill in what she would have filled in if she were taking it and the quizzes give answers like "what are you nuts? Whay are you even taking this quiz? Marry this guy now!" I only ever treated her perfect and supported her, is she just scared and I need to back off and give her time? Or has she decided that it's no longer a break when she saw how I reacted to her suggestion to take a break? Any advice would really be appreciated.

 

Thanks

[Green_and_White]

Hey man,

 

Check out my name and read all about my story Green_and_White. The EXACT same thing happened to me. WE had this perfect relationship. I just got a job with her dad, blah blah blah. Everyhting was just falling into place since we both graduated. She lives about 4 miles from me in an apt with her sister and i live at home with my parents until i saved up enough money. She drops the bomb on me when i come back from visiting my brother and OUR friends at MSU for the weekend, "I need some space". Well, 4 days later she says we have to break up cause it is hurting me too much cause she cant make up her mind. I cry and never ask for her back, im hurt cause she says i can see myself marrying you I just need to be by myself for awhile (never has not had a bf, always had 3 long term bf's...including me, almost 2 years her longest). She says we will talk and she cant imagine her life without me but she hasnt called me once and we havent spoke on the phone in over 3 weeks.

 

In my case, no contact is working for me to get over this thing. If she REALLY wanted to be with me she coudlnt handle this almost 2 months of no seeing each other, i live 5 miles away and work with her father.

 

Just let her be man cause if she is really geniune about loving and wanting to be with you I firmly believe our ladies would do whatever it takes to be with us. They are lying to themselves about how they feel and to us as well.

[nycstudent]

Thanks for the support man, I hope it works out for you. Although you are a lot closer to her, so it definetly would be easier if she did come back. Let me know if anything changes with her, and I'll let you know too. Too many sad stories on here and not any encouraging ones cause anyone who does get back with their ex won't post it, cause now they're too busy and happy to read on here anymore. But I'm starting NC as of two days ago when she called me to tell me how her wisdom tooth surgery went. She got kinda pissed cause I was at a friend's apt and couldn't hear her too well so she got bitchy and acted like i wasn't listening to her. Oh well, NC is for me now. Hopefully our exes will come back, or hopefully we'll get over them and then they'll wish they had come back sooner.