do you think our generation is lost in relationships?

[hotpotato]

People were wild when I was 19 and people always had their fun but there is a real nastiness and viciousness to men and women relationships that doesn't go away as people get older and mature. The genders increasingly act like adversarial forces and it is destroying modern relationships.

 

Do you have any ideas as to what is causing the hostility betwixt the sexes?

[ThaWholigan]

I was a teenager in the 80s. Coming out of the punk era. Going into the rave era. It was a decade of drink, drugs, high octane music, package holidays for teenagers, easy and plentiful sex. High unemployment, high interest rates, recession, living for the moment, feeling like there were no prospects if you were young and starting out.

 

Seriously, nothing has changed. All that happens is that those people get older, have kids, and develop selective amnesia.

Aciiiiiiiiiiiid!!!

 

I'm only 24, I don't remember any acid raves

[will1988]

Most of my friends are the way you've discribed. I'm 25 and am engaged to a woman I've been dating for 4 years. So I guess I am old fashioned by a few standards. lol

[StayBeautiful]

Aciiiiiiiiiiiid!!!

 

I'm only 24, I don't remember any acid raves

 

I'll find one and take you, you're only down the road. Bring lots of water

[Woggle]

Do you have any ideas as to what is causing the hostility betwixt the sexes?

 

I don't know but it is getting worse and worse.

[Woggle]

Do you have any ideas as to what is causing the hostility betwixt the sexes?

 

I don't know but it is getting worse and worse. Being wild and having casual sex are not the issue. What is ruining relationships these days is the play them before they play you attitude which both men and women have these days. I know a number of men who feel like that towards women and I know a lot of women feel that way as well. A popular saying amongst women is date like a man so you don't get played like a bitch and a lot of men but into that PUA stuff. Imagine being somebody trying to find a loving and healthy relationship in this atmosphere.

 

In the past you had wildness but when I was younger the men and women for the most part liked each other. You had sex because you enjoyed or you were in a committed relationship because you loved them. There wasn't this power struggle and get them before they get you kind of mentality that is so common with both sexes.

[RedRobin]

I think what passes as a 'relationship' is anything but...

 

People these days have two choices...

 

sleep around and call it a 'relationship' or pursuit of one... or be celibate. There is no in between.

 

Mostly because people don't feel the need or have the patience to get to know each other in any other context except the bedroom.

[Woggle]

I think what passes as a 'relationship' is anything but...

 

People these days have two choices...

 

sleep around and call it a 'relationship' or pursuit of one... or be celibate. There is no in between.

 

Mostly because people don't feel the need or have the patience to get to know each other in any other context except the bedroom.

 

If it weren't for sexual attraction these days I don't think men and women would even talk to each other for the most part.

[Eve]

All I have said to my children is basically to be careful because the old ways are the true ways.

 

We reap what we sow.

 

I think it is important to know what you really want and that's it really.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Woggle]

All I have said to my children is basically to be careful because the old ways are the true ways.

 

We reap what we sow.

 

I think it is important to know what you really want and that's it really.

 

Take care,

Eve x

 

They aren't the true ways anymore. I honestly believe that marriage is going the way of Blockbuster video.

[sweetjasmine]

I dont know...what are your thoughts?

 

I really think it all depends. I don't know very many people who talk the way you describe. Because if I do meet them, I generally don't have much in common with them and don't choose to spend more time with them.

 

I'm in your age group and am married. Almost a dozen of my friends have gotten married within the past 2-3 years, and more are either engaged or in long-term relationships.

 

Honestly, I don't understand all the chicken-littling of this kind. It's the same old "kids these days HEY GET OFF MY LAWN" that people have been saying since humans were able to talk.

 

As if people who were in their early 20s in the 70s and 80s didn't do the same sh-t. Ever heard of Studio 54?

[Woggle]

I really think it all depends. I don't know very many people who talk the way you describe. Because if I do meet them, I generally don't have much in common with them and don't choose to spend more time with them.

 

I'm in your age group and am married. Almost a dozen of my friends have gotten married within the past 2-3 years, and more are either engaged or in long-term relationships.

 

Honestly, I don't understand all the chicken-littling of this kind. It's the same old "kids these days HEY GET OFF MY LAWN" that people have been saying since humans were able to talk.

 

As if people who were in their early 20s in the 70s and 80s didn't do the same sh-t. Ever heard of Studio 54?

 

Studio 54 was hedonistic but it was not a gender war. There is a real nastiness between men and women these days and it affects older people just as much.

[sweetjasmine]

Studio 54 was hedonistic but it was not a gender war. There is a real nastiness between men and women these days and it affects older people just as much.

 

Nice to see you parroting the same BS again, Wogs. How are you feeling today? More or less miserable than usual?

 

You're right. There's real nastiness between men and women these days. Why, just today, I ran in to get some coffee and just felt compelled to punch the guy waiting for his espresso right in the face. Because penis. It's because my generation is horrible, and we all hate each other.

[Woggle]

Nice to see you parroting the same BS again, Wogs. How are you feeling today? More or less miserable than usual?

 

You're right. There's real nastiness between men and women these days. Why, just today, I ran in to get some coffee and just felt compelled to punch the guy waiting for his espresso right in the face. Because penis. It's because my generation is horrible, and we all hate each other.

 

It's the truth and it is not like you are saying. People might still be polite but relationships between men and women have very much soured in the last decade. In some circles you are better off telling people you do heroin than telling them you want to get married or you are happy in your marriage.

[StayBeautiful]

That isn't a world I recognise, men and women interacting less and resenting each other more. My teenage kids have a pretty even mix of male/female friends, whereas my generation and earlier kept pretty much to our gender groups.

[sweetjasmine]

That isn't a world I recognise, men and women interacting less and resenting each other more. My teenage kids have a pretty even mix of male/female friends, whereas my generation and earlier kept pretty much to our gender groups.

 

You're just blind and refusing to admit the truth because Woggle knows some guy who knows some guy who hates women and some lady who's angry at men or something. Truth.

 

The fact that other people's life experience doesn't show the same thing is irrelevant. Because they're all lying to themselves. Apparently.

[Queen Zenobia]

I'm in your generation OP. I'm married though. But I see a lot of what you are talking about. The partying and hooking up never appealed to me, but I can see how it might appeal to someone else.

 

All in all I'm simply glad I found the man I'm married to. And I'm glad I found him as early as I did.

[TheBigQuestion]

You're just blind and refusing to admit the truth because Woggle knows some guy who knows some guy who hates women and some lady who's angry at men or something. Truth.

 

The fact that other people's life experience doesn't show the same thing is irrelevant. Because they're all lying to themselves. Apparently.

 

By making these types of posts, you aren't helping move this thread along any more than Woggle is, even though what he's saying is over-the-top and (in my view) mostly inaccurate. The better course of action would be to either ignore what he's saying or engaging the ideas that he's presenting. Instead, you're doing nothing except being petty and inflammatory.

 

OP, as a guy in my mid-20s who grew up in a major metropolitan area in the American Northeast, the majority of my high school and college friends are either in long-term relationships, engaged, or married. However, it certainly is becoming more acceptable for people to choose a path of eternal singledom, FWBs, and so forth. The freedom to choose the type of love life you want without undue societal pressure is something that ought to be celebrated, not lamented.

Edited July 23, 2013 by TheBigQuestion

[RedRobin]

I don't know but it is getting worse and worse.

 

Interesting. Here you complain about interactions between men and women... and how no one wants to commit anymore.

 

And elsewhere you tell people not to consider dating unless they are ok with being a FWB and men who have them. If that is the definition of a 'man'.... then you are right.. Who wants to commit to someone who has demonstrated an inability to commit?

Edited July 23, 2013 by RedRobin

[Woggle]

Interesting. Here you complain about interactions between men and women... and how no one wants to commit anymore.

 

And elsewhere you tell people not to consider dating unless they are ok with being a FWB and men who have them. If that is the definition of a 'man'.... then you are right.. Who wants to commit to someone who has demonstrated an inability to commit?

 

I don't hold one or two FWBs against anybody man or woman especially if it comes after a horrible relationship like it did with me. Most of my life has been committing to women.

 

You have many people who act almost allergic to committed relationships and relationship minded people should stay away from them.

[thefooloftheyear]

Its a couple of things...

 

-People dont want to work for anything in any facet of their lives so why work at a relationship..Problems? ...Throw it out like the Chinese cheap junk you bought at Wal Mart..

 

-Because of the internet and social media, the whole friggin world is nothing but one big "Grass is Greener" ballfield..Not working? Ill just "friend" this guy/chick and start anew..If that doesnt work, do it again..Heck, just do it even if its working...Never know, its nice to have a backup plan..

 

Also, a lot of it is just a by product of the multiculturalism that is constantly being shoved down our throats...Its nothing for anyone to date or enter into a relationship with someone else from a different race or culture and thats fine..however..problems arise that perhaps wouldnt have been there if not for the culture clash..Who cares...just go on FB and reel in another one...Next..??

 

TFY

[RedRobin]

I don't hold one or two FWBs against anybody man or woman especially if it comes after a horrible relationship like it did with me. Most of my life has been committing to women.

 

You have many people who act almost allergic to committed relationships and relationship minded people should stay away from them.

 

 

I agree. Unfortunately, the ever present FWB situation is the new norm for the commitment phobes and serial cheaters... I know that wasn't the case for you... but it is the case for a lot of people.

 

A few examples of dating styles these days:

 

If you cheated on your partner? No worries. Just tell everyone she/he was a FWB or you had an 'open' relationship. Actually, call your current GF/BF a FWB whenever it is convenient and you want to date someone else without giving up that nookie. I'm sure they won't mind. It's just expected.

 

If you date someone you later feel embarrassed about for any reason? Don't tell people you dated them... tell them she/he was a FWB, even if they weren't aware of it.

 

Heck, if you want to keep your options open and screw around, just be really vague in how you state your intentions. Maybe she/he will let you slide them into being a FWB without you having to ask!! Bonus!!

[Woggle]

Right after my divorce I met a woman who acted like getting into a relationship was the worst the thing a woman could ever do and that it squashed her independence. To her love was for weak little flowers. I had just gotten out of a horrible marriage and I wanted no part of a relationship so I thought why not. At the time we both wanted the same things so I thought nobody would get hurt. I would never use a woman who was looking for more.

 

She ended up falling for me and got mad at me for not wanting more but I know that she only wanted me because I was challenge and didn't have any real feelings.

 

I do think many FWB arrangements these days are pretty much what we used to call relationships. I know some that are even exclusive but god forbid you say the dreaded R word.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I disagree with a lot of you. I think relationships now and days are improving.

 

 

Only now people are in them because they genuinely want to be, not because society will shun them if they aren't.

Same with divorce, instead of being stuck in loveless marriages people, it is now acceptable to NOT stay married.

 

 

 

I feel like everyone is more happy all around.

I don't think LS is a great place to compare to real life.

 

 

 

Oh and about FWB? I have had one. I have no problem being in a relationship. He was a friend and I wanted to get laid. Easy enough, as soon as I wanted to start dating we stopped. NBD.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I agree. Unfortunately, the ever present FWB situation is the new norm for the commitment phobes and serial cheaters... I know that wasn't the case for you... but it is the case for a lot of people.

 

A few examples of dating styles these days:

 

If you cheated on your partner? No worries. Just tell everyone she/he was a FWB or you had an 'open' relationship. Actually, call your current GF/BF a FWB whenever it is convenient and you want to date someone else without giving up that nookie. I'm sure they won't mind. It's just expected.

 

If you date someone you later feel embarrassed about for any reason? Don't tell people you dated them... tell them she/he was a FWB, even if they weren't aware of it.

 

Heck, if you want to keep your options open and screw around, just be really vague in how you state your intentions. Maybe she/he will let you slide them into being a FWB without you having to ask!! Bonus!!

 

You are kidding right? What type of people do you know RR?

I have never met ANYONE with that mindset.