got married in cuba, mistake??

[mainstream]

hi and thanks for reading, i'll try to keep this as brief as possible.

 

I went to cuba because I have family there, and I also wanted to settle down with a girl. I may have rushed things, I mean I'm only 22 and I only knew the girl a month max before I got married.

 

She's 17, really cute, told me she was a virgin, found out she wasn't, I forgave her. I must also mention she is my uncle's wife's neese. My uncle told me nothing but good things about her.

 

At the beginning it was great, but a few weeks into the relationship we left my uncle's house. That's when the arguments started (it's also when we had sex for the first time)

 

We got married, but before and after that there was still arguments. I was in love though (as far as I know) and I wanted to make her mine.

 

The arguments were over stupid things. I admit I have a jealousy problem, and I did some unjust things to her like grab her by the throat one time and yell at her, as well snatch a handheld video game from her hands and throw it at the wall in the middle of her playing with it. In my defense, she was talking about how her previous boyfriend was better looking than me. She later said she was only joking though.

 

Anyway, I leave cuba after only knowing her about a month and a half. I'm now in the process of doing her papers so she can come live with me.

I call or text her almost every day. It's very very expensive to do all this.

 

A quick explanation of how normal Cubans receive calls from the outer world: IT'S VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE ITS HELLA EXPENSIVE.

When I first got back to the USA I would call her and everything would be cool, she would say how much she misses me and how she just wants me to come back and blah blah blah lovey dubby stuff.

Sometimes we would argue over the phone too though. And recently she picks up the phone and acts really cold with me, never says I love you anymore and things like that.

 

I send her money every once in a while. One time, the day after I sent her some money, she brings up that she wants to get a small tattoo. She had mentioned it before a lot of times while I was in Cuba too. I say no and she gets mad.

within 30 minutes I also get a text that she mistakenly sent to me. The text reads:

"john doe, i don't know whats going on that my calls arn't going through to you, I really like seeing your calls, kisses."

 

She immediately sends another text to me saying that john doe is her cousin, blah blah blah. I still doubt. So I call her dad and ask if she has a cousin named so and so. He says no.

Eventually she says it was actually her friend from school, and that she only lied because she knows how jealous I would get if she had told me it was a guy friend.

Some people who are Cuban that i've talked to about this message say that's a normal way to talk to a friend in Cuban etiquette.

 

Another thing is that she keeps wanting to go visit her dad who lives a little bit far away (she lives with her mom). I remember her telling me about her past relationship and how her dad has a strong dislike for the guy for whatever reason. This kind of makes me connect the dots and logically i'm going to think the guy lives where her dad does. By the way, out where her dad lives her cell phone (which i bought her) gets no reception according to her, so I have to call her at her dad's house phone.

 

So the reason she gives for wanting to go visit her dad a lot is that she just graduated high school, and her high school was in Havana, and she was there for 3 years. Now that she's back to the city she's from, she wants to make up for lost time with her dad.

 

I'm going to stop before I keep rambling. I know this is hard to read because of my retarded grammer skills and bad organization of thoughts, but hopefully someone will help me out. Just keep in mind the economic situation in Cuba, my age, her age, and etc. thanks

[MidwestUSA]

I'm not sure what the question was, but was marriage a mistake? Yes. You need to dissolve this, and quickly. Really, you grabbed her by the throat? I have nothing more to say to a "man" who would do this.

[will1988]

what did I just read? So you are technically married to your 2nd or 3rd cousin (through marriage) and you choked her and broke her video game... after only knowing her a month, and being married for an even shorter time, and she is a minor (by US standards)... and you are trying to get her a green card from a country we have an embargo with? did i get every thing? And you wonder why your marriage is failing? just try to read your story from an outsiders point of view. I am sitting here laughing at how..... dumb... missguided this whole thing is! Well since your wife is not American, nor an American resident, I believe the U.S. Government technically won't honor it on taxes etc... until she comes over here and gets her papers. Therefore, you can technically not even get a divorce. Just leave her in Cuba. I mean, she can try to sue you or go after you in some way. However, since the U.S. has no treaties with Cuba, you sir are in luck. She won't be able to force you to pay her a dime, nor can you be extrodited to Cuba. So you can act as if that month in Cuba was like a long night in Vegas (except it is harder to get a Vegas divorce). You are still single in the eyes of America. Sure it is immoral... but you are young and I am sure she wants to have other boy friends before she settles down.

[MidwestUSA]

Annulment, that's the word I was looking for.