DarkestChapter Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I've been with my beautiful girlfriend for over 5 years now, and I could honestly say that I am deeply in love with her. I've never felt so loved and happy before, and I believe that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Our sex life is out of this world, and I can't keep up with her, and we also have a really deep emotional connection. I'm about to ask her to marry me, however, I'm suddenly feeling really hesitant and I think it's because she's 6 years older than me... My girlfriend has always been a lot less mature than me, and I think that stems from the fact that she lived a very sheltered life. I was also her first real boyfriend, and she lost her virginity to me. She also looks about 10 years younger than she is, and people are always amazed that she's older than me. In essence, I've always felt like the older, and more mature person in our relationship. We are also in the same place career wise, and we both discussed wanting to have kids in about 3 years from now. Despite this, though, I can't help but worry about our age difference...It feels nonexistent now, but I worry that It'll be evident in the future...At times I think that 6 years is such a small age gap and that my worries are incredibly immature and nonsensical. But at times I feel that our 6 year age difference is something to worry about, maybe not now, but in the future... I am deeply in love with this girl, and I've never been so physically and emotionally attracted to someone before. I'm about to ask her for marriage, but I can't get rid of the nagging thought that she's older than me. Am I crazy? Is a 6 year age difference really that big of a deal among adults? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Am I crazy? Is a 6 year age difference really that big of a deal among adults? It's subjective but I suppose after your post I'd use the term 'adult' loosely. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 age is just a number. it is what inside that counts. Link to post Share on other sites
StayBeautiful Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Is this a serious post? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 (edited) You're not crazy or bad for feeling that. Society is strange like that; however, I think she's good for you. Six years isn't that much and it's much better than having a younger girl that is selfish, flaky and doesn't know what she wants. I know a couple of guys that have gotten married to women 10-15 years their senior and they've been married for years, quite happily. I've never seen them or heard them get into any real fights...at least they don't broadcast them like drama llamas. I say stick with her! She's a gem and rare to find! Edited July 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed full quoted post 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 So she is amazing in every single aspect and you worry that in future she looks too old for your liking? ugh let her go, although her chances of finding a non-selfish man is almost non-existent anyway. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr_Flay Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 The thread title is a good example of a "first-world problem". 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 So she is amazing in every single aspect and you worry that in future she looks too old for your liking? ugh let her go, although her chances of finding a non-selfish man is almost non-existent anyway. Same goes for women. Plenty of selfish egotistic women out there. Also, there's nothing wrong with being "selfish" so long as you don't ONLY ever think of yourself. Everyone has an ego, but it's when you let that ego and pride wreck your friendships and relationships that it's a problem. If you're reading this you're talking to just about the least selfish man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DarkestChapter Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 I forgot to mention that I am a 26 year old man, and she is a 32 year old woman. Thank you for all the help so far everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
little_me Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Personally I think that age is just a number when your an adult, and I really don't see why it should cause any problems, if you are both in love and the relationship is good. I know its an older generation, but my nan and grandad have an 11 year year gap and have just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and are still very much in love, my mum and dad also have a big gap of 15 years! and have now been happily married for 10 years! I would say go for it! and good luck 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 The thread title is a good example of a "first-world problem". Isn't it just. When there is none, let's just create one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Despite this, though, I can't help but worry about our age difference...It feels nonexistent now, but I worry that It'll be evident in the future...At times I think that 6 years is such a small age gap and that my worries are incredibly immature and nonsensical. But at times I feel that our 6 year age difference is something to worry about, maybe not now, but in the future... What are you actually afraid of? How do you imagine the age difference will manifest itself in the future to create problems where there are none now? Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 This sounds more like a classic case of GIGS, with age as the scapegoat, rather than an actual concern about potential compatibility. You guys have been together (and, from the sound of it, happy) for five years! What are your actual, specific concerns? That she's going to "look old" before you? That you'll be reproductively incompatible (i.e. she will want children before you're ready)? I'm genuinely curious. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
happywithlife Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 My sister is 30 and her husband is 37. And an age difference that small shouldn't matter. Is the question about the age difference really masking other insecurities regarding your relationship (maturity level, etc)? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Six years is nothing. I routinely date men ten years younger. She looks and acts younger than you so it's a number on a piece of paper that is bothering you? Maybe you are worried that everyone thinks you are so much older than she is and it pricks your vanity. You sound very immature and shouldn't be thinking about marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 my mum and dad also have a big gap of 15 years! and have now been happily married for 10 years! So how old are you? Nine? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I've been with my beautiful girlfriend for over 5 years now, and I could honestly say that I am deeply in love with her. I've never felt so loved and happy before, and I believe that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Our sex life is out of this world, and I can't keep up with her, and we also have a really deep emotional connection. I'm about to ask her to marry me, however, I'm suddenly feeling really hesitant and I think it's because she's 6 years older than me... My girlfriend has always been a lot less mature than me, and I think that stems from the fact that she lived a very sheltered life. I was also her first real boyfriend, and she lost her virginity to me. She also looks about 10 years younger than she is, and people are always amazed that she's older than me. In essence, I've always felt like the older, and more mature person in our relationship. We are also in the same place career wise, and we both discussed wanting to have kids in about 3 years from now. Despite this, though, I can't help but worry about our age difference...It feels nonexistent now, but I worry that It'll be evident in the future...At times I think that 6 years is such a small age gap and that my worries are incredibly immature and nonsensical. But at times I feel that our 6 year age difference is something to worry about, maybe not now, but in the future... I am deeply in love with this girl, and I've never been so physically and emotionally attracted to someone before. I'm about to ask her for marriage, but I can't get rid of the nagging thought that she's older than me. Am I crazy? Is a 6 year age difference really that big of a deal among adults? I'm seven years older than my partner. His dad is something like 12 years older than his mom. His parents have been happily married for 33 years or something, and my partner and I are happy together. If it makes you feel better, most men die younger than most women do, so you might die at the same time if things work out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tricolors Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 My girlfriend is also 6.x years older than me. I thought about it for about five minutes when we first started dating, don't even think about it anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 So she is amazing in every single aspect and you worry that in future she looks too old for your liking? Huh? Where did you get this??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 My guess is the age is not bothering you; something else is and you are subconsciously using the age as an "out" if you will. What catches my attentions in your comments/post is the sex...why did you feel the need to tell us how great the sex was? Just something to think about, not being judgemental. If I am truly in love with a woman, I am not going to tell my friends how great the sex is...they are going to hear about all of her other amazing qualities I am attracted to. Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 ^ what ? Of course six years is a very normal age gap within couples. You never articulated what the actual problem you were having with the age difference was or why it bothered you, but my guess would be that maybe..? : You're still in your mid-twenties, and regardless of age being "just a number", symbolically it's the "youthful", "prime" decade before the descent into middle age. And even though six years is completely negligible- especially as people age, not less so- you feel you're late in your youth while she's already entering into the whole next stage ? And her slight seniority highlights your own increasing age, making you wonder if you'd be getting married at too young an age ? I understand she's the mentally "younger" one and that your careers are comparable, but just as far as numbers go. Just hypothesizing... Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 (edited) So she is amazing in every single aspect and you worry that in future she looks too old for your liking? ugh let her go, although her chances of finding a non-selfish man is almost non-existent anyway. Agree. OP, unless shes at a different lifestage than you and wants kids and all that right away, I cant see how the age gap is any problem. Guys are generally cautious about older women because the woman may be ready to settle down before him. However you are ready to propose, so I dont get your issue. Dump her since looks seem to matter a lot you. Im sure youre no young stud yourself. And I dont think you wouldnt have mentioned how she looks for her age if that wasnt a concern to you. I think youre not ready to settle down and that you wanna play the field with younger girls. So what is it? I think someone else was right too. You have GIGS. The thread title is a good example of a "first-world problem". I know right? "God dammit...why are they always out of the cookies and cream flavor when I need protein powder. . My life is meaningless" Edited July 23, 2013 by kaylan 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 You have GIGS. What does this mean...Google was not my friend on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 What does this mean...Google was not my friend on this one. Grass is Greener Syndrome. Took me forever to suss it out! OP, you need to be more specific about the problem. Are you worried she will start to look her age? Lose energy? Is this about what your friends are thinking? Without details, it sounds to me like you are nervous about getting married and are searching for reasons why. There may, in fact, be none, other than you simply are not yet ready. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Huh? Where did you get this??? That's the biggest worry of men who date women older than them, other than the kid issue. You really didn't know that? Looks is also the biggest reason why men want a younger woman so she looks good when they get together and stays that way longer. The way the OP wrote his first post, it's apparent that is one of (if not main) concern. I also think simply is worried about the age gap because he's worried what other people think. He doesn't think being with an older woman brings him status among his social circle and is uncomfortable with going against the grain. It's kind of the same worry some women might have when they date a man who makes less money than them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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