Why do I have to put a woman in her place if she gets out of hand?

[Janesays]

Or, he's probably telling tales.

 

I mean, 200 women dated over the span of 30 years? That's over 6 women every year. Less than 2 months with each of them if he was dating non-stop back-to-back.

 

Not only that, but unless he is pushing 50, he has NOT been dating 30 years. People generally don't start dating in infancy.

 

If he IS pushing 50, then it'a rather pathetic for a man to be that age and never made a lasting connection with a woman ever in his life and is still trolling the dating sites as the resident old man. In other words, he is the LAST person who should be giving relationship advice as his track record shows he is a proven failure. I don't think very many men still WANT to be dating brats well into old age.

[Chief Wiggum]

Not only that, but unless he is pushing 50, he has NOT been dating 30 years. People generally don't start dating in infancy.

 

If he IS pushing 50, then it'a rather pathetic for a man to be that age and never made a lasting connection with a woman ever in his life and is still trolling the dating sites as the resident old man. In other words, he is the LAST person who should be giving relationship advice as his track record shows he is a proven failure. I don't think very many men still WANT to be dating brats well into old age.

 

If he's pushing 50, then yeah, he's blagging.

[ascendotum]

I do test men, though I didn't even know that I was doing it till PUA websites defined it. I have a boyfriend and I have no idea how he lasted this long, because when we first started dating I was at the height of my bitchiness. He is extremely tough, and I wouldn't say he "disciplines" me, because that just sounds weird, but he does expect the best from me. I knew my behavior had gotten pretty bad over the last few years, but no man ever challenged or questioned it, until him.

 

As to why? I wanna know that the person I'm with is strong enough to weather the storm.

 

At least you are upfront on your behavior. Since you now recognize your behavior thanks to PUA literature, have you changed your self for the better and for the benefit/love of your bf? I get the impression possibly no otherwise you would have mentioned it.

 

Not being a smartarse here, but how long does he have to weather the storm? Why not just make life easier for him and treat him like I assume you would want. Maybe in the early days of dating I can understand the logic behind shyte tests by women, but as the months/yrs go having to 'weather the storm'...when you are storm..come on. It like when I hear women say I need a strong dominate man so he doesn't let me get away with my shyte or keep me in line...like why not have some self control in the first place especially since the acknowledge they get out of hand create drama. IDK! (yeh I know not all women are like this) I also remember reading an article directed at women on keeping the relationship alive by creating drama. Certainly could be practical to an extent over the years after the relationship has became stall, but most guys don't want to have to deal with testing as a routine from early on once she has decided you are good enough to be her bf.

I failed at this when I was younger. Thought I was doing the right thing by keeping her happy or not recognizing I was getting assessed. wrong. Got friendzoned or she would lose respect and she would start to get more moody, less passion with sex and it just a matter of time it was over. Appeasing a women over disrespectful behavior or failing her 'a real man would do this test', she is going to lose respect for you and don't be surprised you end up in a passionless marriage if she sticks around. (it certainly depends on the woman and not all relationships have deal with this) Seen it play out in numerous relationships over the years. Some people here I think have taken a couple of 'discipline' comments and run this towards physical discipline.

[HopelessRomantic76]

The man is supsoed to be the authoritarian in the relationship if you cant handle the power we give to you as a man then date other men and let them lead you

[letsbeotherpeople]

The man is supsoed to be the authoritarian in the relationship if you cant handle the power we give to you as a man then date other men and let them lead you

 

Clearly you've never met my wife.

[GorillaTheater]

The man is supsoed to be the authoritarian in the relationship if you cant handle the power we give to you as a man then date other men and let them lead you

 

Get back to the ironing. And make me a sandwich, pronto.

[GorillaTheater]

Clearly you've never met my wife.

 

I've mentioned before on LS that one of the funniest ongoing things in my life is that my wife considers herself to be submissive.

[MidwestUSA]

Get back to the ironing. And make me a sandwich, pronto.

 

You need a beer with that?

[Arabella]

The man is supsoed to be the authoritarian in the relationship if you cant handle the power we give to you as a man then date other men and let them lead you

 

Huh?

 

What is this, someone escaped the 1900s?

 

In case you haven't noticed while you were in cryonic suspension... Women can now vote, wear pants, own property, travel alone, express their ideas, have a driver's license, AND get paid for their work!

 

It's a wonderful time! Welcome!

[Adele0908]

At least you are upfront on your behavior. Since you now recognize your behavior thanks to PUA literature, have you changed your self for the better and for the benefit/love of your bf? I get the impression possibly no otherwise you would have mentioned it.

 

Not being a smartarse here, but how long does he have to weather the storm? Why not just make life easier for him and treat him like I assume you would want. Maybe in the early days of dating I can understand the logic behind shyte tests by women, but as the months/yrs go having to 'weather the storm'...when you are storm..come on. It like when I hear women say I need a strong dominate man so he doesn't let me get away with my shyte or keep me in line...like why not have some self control in the first place especially since the acknowledge they get out of hand create drama. IDK! (yeh I know not all women are like this) I also remember reading an article directed at women on keeping the relationship alive by creating drama. Certainly could be practical to an extent over the years after the relationship has became stall, but most guys don't want to have to deal with testing as a routine from early on once she has decided you are good enough to be her bf.

I failed at this when I was younger. Thought I was doing the right thing by keeping her happy or not recognizing I was getting assessed. wrong. Got friendzoned or she would lose respect and she would start to get more moody, less passion with sex and it just a matter of time it was over. Appeasing a women over disrespectful behavior or failing her 'a real man would do this test', she is going to lose respect for you and don't be surprised you end up in a passionless marriage if she sticks around. (it certainly depends on the woman and not all relationships have deal with this) Seen it play out in numerous relationships over the years. Some people here I think have taken a couple of 'discipline' comments and run this towards physical discipline.

 

My BF tests me. People test to see what they can get away with, how strong someone is, or if they'll keep their boundaries intact. Annoying as it may be, it's human nature.

[GorillaTheater]

My BF tests me. People test to see what they can get away with, how strong someone is, or if they'll keep their boundaries intact. Annoying as it may be, it's human nature.

 

It certainly appears to be, knowingly or not. In the vast majority of cases in my experience, they're best handled with humor or a "you gotta be kidding me" look, not the Iron Fist of Discipline.

[dasein]

Really? Why so few?

 

I mean I know I am know I am naive or something, but was there not even just one where you said, "$h1t! Enough! Or either I'll be at this forever". I mean if these couple of hundred women were actually typical of women, surely, there might have actually been one, like, that would have at least have passed muster, as long as you didn't scrutinize them too closely, of course, under a microscope or anything?

 

To clarify some things, ~50% or so of the women I've dated have been while also involved in OLD for several years, where it's very easy to end up dating lots of people. At one point in life long ago, I wanted to marry, but haven't wanted that for a long time. 200 people dated over decades is simply not that many, even with lots of longer term relationships interspersed. I have friends who have dated many more. Trying to break it down into "X weeks per person" is inapt because of all the 1-2 date experiences. Posters who want to keep questioning the validity or truth of my experiences, claim I'm "making things up" are simply wrong. Continue being wrong if you like.

 

Moreover, I never posted that -all- those women did the kinds of behaviors alluded to in the OP. My point has always been that the behavior OP alludes to is more common than it should be. IME men have to deal with more of it than we should in 2013. That my posts in this thread are summarized as "there are no good women out there" is a giant strawman. In fact, I've posted over and over again that many women who do these types of things are normal women and fine otherwise. I shouldn't have to type this out because my posts to this thread are crystal clear.

 

How bout responding to what I actually post as opposed to making up something you would like for me to have posted, but... I... didn't... post.

[dasein]

Or, he's probably telling tales.

 

I mean, 200 women dated over the span of 30 years? That's over 6 women every year. Less than 2 months with each of them if he was dating non-stop back-to-back.

 

It's not unusual to date 7-15 women in a single month of OLD, which I did in several months, and not unusual at all for a single person who has not married to date 200 people over time. I dated 75-100 women in college alone, years ago, Chief. Many were 1 up dates to a particular event. Lots of 2-3 date deals as well. If you are going to call someone a liar, do so with better math and reasoning.

 

The point has always been that my advice to men is to get advice for dating women from people, male or female, with lots of experience... dating women, not to nitpick the numbers of women I've dated in life.

[MrNate 2.0]

Flirting/Dating/Relationships...

 

I'm talking about her testing me.

 

I could... but I feel like... Its not my job... or is it?...

 

I also feel like she should manage herself?

 

I kind of feel like, she's not good enough for me, like I'm a man and she's a little girl... or is this how I'm supposed to feel?

 

I know I should stand up for myself... but I'm confused...

 

Pimpin' ain't easy man.

 

 

Sometimes you have to roll up your sleeves and let 'em know what the deal is.

[crude]

The Romanian cop didn't put up with this woman's attitude.

 

 

Cop Smacks Woman In The Face - YouTube

[dasein]

I would just note the tendency for him to have a lot of conflict with all kinds of women on this site, very few of whom are the least bit childish. Not to mention his need to put just about everyone in their place, man or woman.

 

This is not true, or rather list them. There are only a few people, yourself included, with whom I have any sustained conflict on this site (I can't even name 10 out of thousands of posters here), and in your case that's due to your propensity to lie when it suits you (as in the above quoted lie which you repeat from time to time), and toss around specific insults and snidery at specific posters, which you feel is your due for some reason, in high ratio to any kind of substantive advice or opinion offered by you.

 

I used to be flattered by all the time and attention you devote to my psyche, motivations, but it has become stale, particularly in its inaccuracy and dishonesty. Do you not have anything better to do with your time than attempt to "faux analyze" a stranger on the internet who hasn't even solicited your analysis?

 

Yeah, I tend to have problems with threads such as this that start out as a typical "male OP bashing session" unreasonably. Sue me for speaking up about it.

[dasein]

The Romanian cop didn't put up with this woman's attitude.

 

 

Cop Smacks Woman In The Face - YouTube

 

Just summed up this thread better than all my voluminous posts to it.

[dasein]

I do test men, though I didn't even know that I was doing it till PUA websites defined it. I have a boyfriend and I have no idea how he lasted this long, because when we first started dating I was at the height of my bitchiness. He is extremely tough, and I wouldn't say he "disciplines" me, because that just sounds weird, but he does expect the best from me. I knew my behavior had gotten pretty bad over the last few years, but no man ever challenged or questioned it, until him.

 

As to why? I wanna know that the person I'm with is strong enough to weather the storm.

 

Thanks very much for your honesty.

 

I agree also about the term "discipline," chose it specifically, and repeated it several times, to prove a point in the thread. It has served its purpose well.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Sorry, blameshift? Bad people picker? All played out. No dice.

 

What do you mean by "blameshift"? I cast no blame. But each person is responsible for their choices. You bear all the responsibility for choosing such women to date. I mean, if any of that crap actually happened, which I doubt.

 

I also certainly don't think that you have a "bad people picker." It seems that you have an excellent one. You select women who are on your level. That is, if you really have had significant experience with women. Which I also doubt.

 

Seriously, all jabbing aside: I don't believe what you post. I don't believe that the majority of the "examples" you give to prove "the true nature of women" actually ever took place. Also, I don't believe you are anything like the way you present yourself here in your real life, but that this is a brittle persona you've developed over, probably, many years as the self-appointed resident elder sage in various Lovable Loser/ PUA Hopefuls / Forever Alone Internet communities. I think that this is how you wish you were out there in the world, but are not. This is your source of self esteem and social life. It's sad. But also good. Because encountering a man who was really the way you pretend to be would be a horrible experience for any woman. You exude bitter, rageful hatred. And, really, only drunken bimbos like those you describe would even deal with such a person for ten minutes. That might explain your massive dating history. I mean, if that were true.

 

In fact, I've posted over and over again that many women who do these types of things are normal women and fine otherwise.

 

You posting it has nothing to do with whether it's true or not. Everyone here realizes this. Even your "followers," if they'd admit it.

 

Women, or people in general, who behave in those ways are not normal. Unless they're children.

 

And what's with this consistent references to "daddy" throughout your posting history? It sounds, frankly, infantile. I suspect you still need a mommy. That could do you some good.

[dasein]

I mean, do people like you really, really exist? It sounds positively scary and not a little depressing to boot.

 

Yeah, we exist, we are the ones who are mischaracterized as "jerks" by other men who can't figure out how we do well with women while defying the PC dogma of putting women on pedestals and telling them they are perfect. There are hundreds if not thousands of threads about "us" right here on this site.

 

Sorry if that "scares and depresses" you. The internet is surely a rough and tumble place.

 

When it comes to being drama queens there is nothing to beat a man either in terms of propensity or intensity. If you want proof just go read the comment columns of any popular daily newspaper on-line, or just listen to popular talk radio phone-ins. It's as ugly as it can get and they are almost all men.

 

What on earth does anonymous comments on net pages or call ins to talk radio have to do with the thread topic, or even with which gender has the highest propensity to stir drama?

 

And as far as claiming that men stir more drama than women generally? particularly in dating? Don't even bother.

 

Rick Perry, anyone? Just for starters?

 

No idea what you are getting at here, Gov of Texas? past Pres candidate? that's really all I know about him, what's your point?

 

Or are you trying to claim that Rick Perry is some kind of drama queen, so men stir more drama than women generally? hmm

[Mme. Chaucer]

The Romanian cop didn't put up with this woman's attitude.

 

 

Cop Smacks Woman In The Face - YouTube

 

You guys are sick. And totally pathetic.

[therhythm]

You guys are sick. And totally pathetic.

 

don't give them the attention they are craving for... These guys are just bitter ... it happens.. I actually feel pity for them.

[Ruby Slippers]

What we would like to know is why does this behavior take place? Are you consciously aware that you are doing it or is it purely an emotional outburst? Is it an intentional irrational escalation to test us and push our buttons to see how we react? We are just curious is all.

When I have a strong upwelling of sadness or anger at my guy, it's pretty much always because he did something to make me feel unloved or unappreciated.

 

Ideally, I would calmly and rationally explain why what he did made me feel sad or angry, he'd clarify, and we'd move on. But a lot of things can go wrong in that chain of communication. Sometimes I do explain my feelings calmly - and sometimes he clarifies and we move on. But sometimes he gets defensive and trivializes my feelings, which only makes them escalate (this happened more in the beginning, but now hardly ever). And at other times, my emotional reaction to what happened is too strong for me to be calm in the moment. (I'm also getting better at not overreacting when my emotions are evoked.)

 

I'm never consciously testing - but I'm sure that on the subconscious level, some of my emotionally driven behavior is testing his loyalty and love, since he just did something to make me feel unloved or unappreciated and I'm hurt.

 

So far, he's passed all the "tests", and I just told him yesterday how much I appreciate that when I get emotional and do somewhat irrational things, like try to run away or avoid him, he's exceedingly patient and positive, always trying to keep us on a peaceful wavelength until I calm down and we can discuss the matter without the emotional amplitude. I would have blown the relationship up by now if not for his calm, steady hand in it.

 

Just as I appreciate his "fatherly", masculine approach to handling problems, he appreciates my "motherly", feminine approach. He went to court to pay a big speeding ticket yesterday, and he was venting to me about it. I said at least it was only money and there weren't more serious consequences. Then I said I don't mean to sound like a mom, but I hope you'll take this as a warning to stop speeding (he has a lead foot and has gotten 2 speeding tickets in the year I've known him - I warned him even before he got the first ticket). He said, "I agree, mom," and asked me if I was going to ground him. I said, "I'll go easy on you with a few spankings and some household chores."

 

We help keep each other in line.

[TouchedByViolet]

You guys are sick. And totally pathetic.

 

What do you tell a women with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice (it's just a joke for the dense people here)

 

If you can't laugh about it then you are not able to fix it.

[ThaWholigan]

This thread is amazing .

 

I have seen examples of women "needing discipline", in the sense that they tended to stir up scenarios in an otherwise stale union. The guys usually failed to do this and ended up being cheated on or dumped for guys with a more "authoritarian" edge or otherwise more aggressive. Guys who responded more strongly garnered better results. There are women who fit this dynamic and guys who respond. They are meant for each other.

 

These people do not make up everybody. I don't think they are bad either, some people just respond to such a dynamic. I've seen examples of the opposite too.

 

I personally belong to a different dynamic - one that rests on a team dynamix as opposed to leading.