NoFuxGiven Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I want to apologize for this being so long but please bear with me for this is my first post…… I've been with my BF officially for about 7 months. Before that we were in an off/on FWB situation for a very longwhile. I have always had feelings for him and he was aware of that but never acted on it until recently. The first 2 months were straight bliss and i got pregnant really fast. It seems like after i became pregnant things went downhill. This is his first child and he is very happy with the fact that I'm pregnant. The problem seems to be my mood swings, insecurity, jealousy and clinginess. I question him about every little thing he does and even when he explains, i still doubt him. Last night at about 12:30AM i texted him "I love you and goodnight" and got no response. When i woke up this morning at 8 there was still no messages from him. Okay. Cool. I went about my morning and at about 10am I couldn't take it anymore so I sent another text "hey". No response. By now there are all kinda scenarios going on in my head. Especially the one about him being with someone else. Finally about 1pm he texted me back. We messaged back and forth for a few minutes and he offered no explanation as to why he didn't respond to my messages earlier, so i made the comment that it took him long enough and he said that he was asleep. I didn't believe him so later on i checked the phone records and sure enough from 11:54 pm the night before to the next day when he called me there was NO ACTIVITY. No internet usage,no outgoing calls,and not really any texts (except the ones I sent). Now I know you all are thinking that i should be satisfied and happy that i didn't find anything or any evidence that he was lying. Well I'm not. I keep thinking there is more and that he is hiding something. Maybe he turned his phone off and was with someone else......maybe he has a secret phone that i don't know about. He has never given me a reason to think he's cheating. I have snooped in his phone and Facebook inbox before and didn't find anything. There were a couple of exchanges with females (one was his ex) but they seemed innocent. He told them about me and that he was expecting a child and everything. Our relationship is otherwise good. Its just that if he's not in my face or not on my phone then I think he is with another female or talking to another female. Its like all this got really bad after i got pregnant. Another thing, we spend A LOT of time together and on the days when we're not together he does text and call all throughout the day but it seems like we're together so much that we really don't have anything to talk about so its a lot of dead air. I hate it because i feel like if he's not talking to me then he is gon hang up and call another female. I understand the importance of space in a relationship but my insecurities and clinginess seem to be getting in the way. How do I just chill out, trust him and let our relationship flow??? Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 IF choosing to behave normally were possible you'd not be here. This insecurity dooms your relationship. You're pregnant but living apart? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tinie Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I thought women get hormonal when they're pregnant? Maybe that's why you're having all these mood swings... Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoFuxGiven Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 This insecurity dooms your relationship. You're pregnant but living apart? I hope not because I don't want to become just his baby momma. UGH. We live apart because we already had separate places when we got together. He spends the majority of his nights with me at my place and we have discussed him moving in with me when his lease is up in January because I have more space. I don't feel like it's going to happen if I keep acting the way I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 You need to tone this back a little. Going to drive him away faster than you can imagine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoFuxGiven Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 I thought women get hormonal when they're pregnant? Maybe that's why you're having all these mood swings... I keep telling myself and him that's the reason too. I'm wearing the hell outta that excuse though. At first he was understanding but now it's getting old. Link to post Share on other sites
22pinesway Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 I completely understand you as I'm in the same boat. Except I'm not pregnant. He hasn't been calling when he said he would, his phone is turned off (which he doesn't do), his work schedule keeps changing. I've also looked at his phone and online and have not found anything suspicious. So I assume its all in my head, but still the feeling doesn't go away. Can't tell if my thoughts are real or if I'm just crazy with insecurity. Link to post Share on other sites
emva07 Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 As women we can spend YEARS telling ourselves we are crazy, paranoid, disillusion. Sometimes men themselves tell us we are as well so we think they're behavior is OUR delusion. But there is always a reason behind it, maybe it's the way your relationship started? on and off fwb. Maybe it's the fact that you got pregnant right away? Maybe it's the fact he ignores your txts. All of these combined ARE perfectly good reasons to be suspicious. You are not crazy, he has given you motives to feel this way. He's not fully invested in this relationship and maybe subconsciously you though having his kid would change that, but as women that is the worse thng we can do. Nothing will stop a man who doesn't want to invest. In time you will learn that "psycho" behavior was telling you something. But only you can see that for yourself. We here can't tell you what it is because you won't believe us. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 But there is always a reason behind it, maybe it's the way your relationship started? on and off fwb. Maybe it's the fact that you got pregnant right away? Maybe it's the fact he ignores your txts. All of these combined ARE perfectly good reasons to be suspicious. Pfffffft You need help, seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
emva07 Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 Pfffffft You need help, seriously. Why? I'm trying to see where her paranoia is coming from. Her feelings of jealousy , psycho etc dont stem from nowhere. Saying she's insecure isn't the answer to everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Midnight_Princess Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 Oh please, dont blame your jealousy and paranoia on being pregnant. That is just an excuse and you know it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 I rolled my eyes the second you said "I texted him..........." What is the world coming to? You have a phone in your hand and we'd rather go through all the trouble of typing in messages than opening our mouths..........even over the phone? Just imagine if you were actually talking to him voice to voice and told him "goodnight". What do you think he would say back? I don't know, but at least you would know what he said back and HOW he said it. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 Pregnancy is a huge emotional and physical stress on the woman and the couple. It will tend to test the weak points of any relationship. Pregnant women need reassurance and care and he may not be able or willing to meet your increased needs and wants at this time, especially if living separately. Was this a planned pregnancy? If so, why did you plan to become pregnant while unmarried and living apart? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts