Friendly wake up call...

[Ashesmum]

I have a male friend who is in despair. He met a girl and a couple months later she said she was pregnant with his kid.His girlfriend is supposedly pregnant by him though the dates have been changed several times and the dates aren't even when they were together. He does want to get a paternity test, but she told him no and got an attitude. Then he said that he would be there for her and the baby by gettting a place together and she said that her family is really religious and they can't live together unless they were married. Can you believe that! So he's decided to stay with her until the baby is born and they can get a paternity test. (I'm not sure why he would waste his time). And then go from there. He's afraid that if for some reason it does turn out to be his, he'll look like a total bastard. His girlfriend is like 7 months now and has tried giving him a couple documents to sign for "the names on the birth certificate". The other paper was from the government for child support. Now why would you give your man that if you're staying with him and being a family??? She actually asked him last week if he wanted to have his work take money out of his check for support or do a salary agreement. Can you imagine this @*$! I told him not to sign anything and don't even put your name on the birth certificate until he knows for sure. Please respond so I can show him all your comments of waking up to reality!

[Tony T]

This man would be a total and complete idiot for signing anything obligating him to support a child he is not sure he's the father of.

 

Since the relationship was not one of long standing, he has no business doing anything right now. It seems he has no desire to marry this girl. Unless he is actually the father, his name should NOT be on the birth certificate and he should NOT sign documents for her to get child support. Doing so would be insane. When the government gives monies to a woman for child support, they look to the father for reimbursement, in this case the man who signed the papers.

 

If he is fairly certain he is not the father, he shouldn't even move in with this chick.

 

If he doesn't take your advice, he needs to see an attorney. Signing anything whatsoever at this time could tangle him in a web of trouble that could last many years and drain him financially. I'm not an attorney, but by moving in with her at this time there could be an implication of admission of fatherhood in the absence of definitive DNA test results.

 

Your friend sounds like a real nice and responsible guy but he's taking that way too far here. Until he is absolutely certain he is the father, he needs to keep some distance from this situation. And if his calculations of time are correct, he is not the father.

 

He may be the only sucker out of all the guys she slept with who is willing to go along with her crap. Tell your friend to wise up. Spend some time giving him the facts of this new world. Also, have him consider getting fixed.

 

BOTTOM LINE: Everything you advised him was right on target. He couldn't ask for a better friend than you!!!

[Deejette]

It sounds like this girl is trying to entrap him and may have even known she was pregnant when she started seeing him. She is doing the natural thing and ensuring the support for her child, but it is underhanded, because deep down she probably knows it is the other guy's kid.

 

I especially would look out for the paper-signing pressures she is putting on him. She is acting a bit too eager about securing money from him for the rest of that child's life. He needs to present a few papers of his own for signing, such as visitation rights, otherwise he could be paying for the child and not be allowed to see him/her.

This man would be a total and complete idiot for signing anything obligating him to support a child he is not sure he's the father of. Since the relationship was not one of long standing, he has no business doing anything right now. It seems he has no desire to marry this girl. Unless he is actually the father, his name should NOT be on the birth certificate and he should NOT sign documents for her to get child support. Doing so would be insane. When the government gives monies to a woman for child support, they look to the father for reimbursement, in this case the man who signed the papers. If he is fairly certain he is not the father, he shouldn't even move in with this chick. If he doesn't take your advice, he needs to see an attorney. Signing anything whatsoever at this time could tangle him in a web of trouble that could last many years and drain him financially. I'm not an attorney, but by moving in with her at this time there could be an implication of admission of fatherhood in the absence of definitive DNA test results. Your friend sounds like a real nice and responsible guy but he's taking that way too far here. Until he is absolutely certain he is the father, he needs to keep some distance from this situation. And if his calculations of time are correct, he is not the father. He may be the only sucker out of all the guys she slept with who is willing to go along with her crap. Tell your friend to wise up. Spend some time giving him the facts of this new world. Also, have him consider getting fixed. BOTTOM LINE: Everything you advised him was right on target. He couldn't ask for a better friend than you!!!